Home Now what? The highs and lows of survivorship

The Secret Suckiness Of Life After Breast Cancer



  • Blossom1961Blossom1961 Regional VictoriaMember Posts: 1,962
    @Sister Chemo made me into a cleanliness fanatic, but I had no energy so it was very frustrating. My family laughed at me and called it my nesting instinct. I just wanted my house clean! And the car, and the garden, and my work office, and the garage.
  • StarGirlStarGirl Member Posts: 124
    @Summer Prevails I have definitely sensed the judgement too, maybe I’m just sensitive, but it’s turned into a sort of ‘survivor guilt’. I was diagnosed mets de novo mets 4 years ago. Everyone expected me to die (not that they said it to my face mind you) but here I still am … and I look (and appearances can certainly be deceiving!!) remarkably well. So people constantly tell me stories about people they know, or know of, who had similar health issues and died. And it feels sort of accusatory (if that’s even a word). I feel like they’re really saying ‘Why are you not dead?’ ‘What makes you so special that you’re still here and [name] is gone?’. And I don’t know why. Even the doctors and oncologists I’ve seen are puzzled and just keep saying I’m a statistical outlier. And I should feel happy. But actually I feel really guilty. I’m not special. I’m just an average person with no particular gifts. I won’t change the world or achieve great things. I feel like I don’t deserve to have good days or be well. I also wonder if people think maybe I lied or exaggerated my condition. I guess we can’t win 😖
  • Harvey1903Harvey1903 Regional VictoriaMember Posts: 189
     Yes, yes and yes.  What a mess after chemo, they don't tell you about.  I'm struggling with AI's. I can count up to ten the 'reasons' why cancer stalked me - maybe burnt toast was the problem.  Not the hormone thing,  really thinking about quality of life not quantity. 

    I can't play golf which is my life ATM with grandkids as well.  Too many joint problems, so I'm going off the tablets for better quality of life.  It's a better choice for me.  I want an active life now not in ten years time when physically I can't.   

    Humph. A bit down today. Love to all  J

  • kmakmkmakm MelbourneMember Posts: 7,974
    They don't do they @Harvey1903. I remember my BS banging on about the wonder drug qualities of the endocrine therapies. He even said there was an argument that they could be given to every woman in the country as a preventive measure. Are you effing kidding me??

    But how could they? Say "We're going to do our best to get rid of your cancer with gruelling treatment. When that's finished we're going to put you on a drug that for more than a few people makes them feel absolute rubbish. And you're going to be on that drug for up to a decade..."? Never going to happen.

    I know how much you love your golf. You have to make the right decision for you. Big hug, K xox
  • Harvey1903Harvey1903 Regional VictoriaMember Posts: 189
    Thanks Kate. Xx
  • kitkatbkitkatb Member Posts: 442
    This insipid disease just bloody keeps giving.  You are so right @kmakm about the endocrine therapies they are just gruelling and for me it's just for  1 % but I still would be too worried about giving them up. I totally understand why some people choose to to do just that with the debilitating affects it has on the quality of life. Hopefully you will be able to get out there on the Golf Course again @Harvey1903 and good on you for making the right decision  for you. 
    Today was meltdown day for me at work. ( only been back a few weeks for 2 mornings a week ) But with no sleep and feeling totally exhausted.( thanks femara ) I arrived and that was it. A big blubbering mess which is so not me and not a pretty sight. I think I managed to equally upset a few work colleagues who are so used to seeing the strong capable person I was before instead of the person who wonders am I ever going to be able to even do this job again.  Needless to say they sent me packing and I came home and slept for 4 hours on the couch.  Thankfully I got out of the big black hole this afternoon and in a better frame.  I remembered the post on here about TAD
     ( sorry can't remember who posted it ) .  Things could be worse.  Accept the things you cannot change.  Do not live your life in fear.  So true. xo
  • Blossom1961Blossom1961 Regional VictoriaMember Posts: 1,962
    So. Permanent cording but I still have almost full range of movement. Can be operated on, hah, not likely. Doesn’t hurt, just feels tight. Thinking I might go visit a Chinese herbalist acupuncturist once I finish up with all my treatments. I am not overly bothered by it. Just another thing. 
  • SarnicadSarnicad MelbourneMember Posts: 318
    @Blossom1961 try the acupuncture I’m getting some great results with mine in terms of pain relief from my sore knee and hip. I’m still having herceptin along with armidex and it helps so much
  • kmakmkmakm MelbourneMember Posts: 7,974
    @Sarnicad @Blossom1961 My mum today said she'd shout me some acupuncture. Really hoping it helps the joint pain and the hot flushes.
  • arpiearpie Mid North Coast, NSWMember Posts: 6,120
    Definitely worth a try, @kmakm  - I hope it helps

  • kmakmkmakm MelbourneMember Posts: 7,974
    Thanks @arpie:)
  • kezmusckezmusc Member Posts: 1,544
    @kmakm,  I hope you have more luck with the accupuncture than I did.  Was a total waste of  $600 for 5 treatments that did F all.  Was relaxing though until I thought about the amount of money I just wasted that was not relaxing at all :).  Fingers crossed.
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