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Afraser
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Joined 11 years ago
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Re: About to commence Tamoxofen
I was 67 when diagnosed. I had letrozole rather than tamoxifen, for ten years. Letrozole tends to chomp up your bone density so worth asking about that and other common side effects.Remember, you can always stop if the side effects are unacceptable. No treatment is guaranteed, but they are recommended on the grounds of known effectiveness. Give it a shot.31ViewsSign in to react to this post0CommentsRe: Hard lump in breast after second surgery
I had a persistent, large seroma, several aspirations, two infections and a seroma within a seroma (Russian dolls!) before a third, serious infection resulted in hospital, surgery and finally fixing the problem. Seromas don’t always ‘go away’. Massage from a lymphoedema specialist can help.28ViewsSign in to react to this post0CommentsRe: Letrozole explained - a good read
Thanksarpie Pretty much what my oncologist told me over 13 years ago. The preferred duration of treatment then was five years. By the time I had completed four, the preferred duration was ten years. I was not very pleased. But he felt the research samples were really big and compelling. Being thorough, he did note that approximately half the research sample had not completed even five years. As I didn’t have joint pain, menopausal symptoms etc, I took his advice. 14 years NED. Letrozole munched up a chunk of my bone density but then so did my age. And quite a bit of estrogen too. No guarantees, but also no regrets.38ViewsSign in to react to this post1CommentRe: Recurrence?
Hi I don’t quite fit, I was 67 at diagnosis. I had my biennial mammogram and check a week ago. I never had dense breast tissue but 14 years later, my remaining breast is almost transparent! My much liked breast surgeon is happy to make an appointment for two years on, or for me contact him if I have any concerns. Fond as I am of him, I’m also happy to take the second option. On the rare occasions I have wanted an out of schedule consultation, he’s been prompt and available. So …. 14 years NED. You will always know that you have had cancer once, but the scanxiety almost vanished for me after six years (it goes faster than you might think) and those 14 years are much more marked by travel, new work opportunities, two grandsons and other good stuff than by constant thinking about cancer. My best wishes.49ViewsSign in to react to this post0CommentsRe: How do you go back to normal?
Dear mon_03 I'm not sure about going back to normal, but you can certainly go on. We don't really ever go back to anything, all new or different experiences bring about changes, maybe subtle, maybe significant. A cancer diagnosis and surgery is not insignificant. There are changes to your body, there are changes to your routines, there are changes to your beliefs (whatever we may have thought before, we now know we can get cancer!). Many of these changes will lessen in intensity over time, some may almost vanish, but they will never not ever be there again. That's not always a bad thing. It requires a bit of adjustment, just like many things in life do. Sometimes what we need most is a period of what we have been used to - whatever that may mean to us individually. Sometimes we actually want to make some more changes - step by step. You have been absorbing so much information in such a short time that it may be useful to find as much of a calm period now as possible and reflect on what you most want - let's say in the next six months or so. Follow that feeling, then review. No chemo or radiation is a terrific start - I had ten years of hormonal therapy. Side effects can vary. I never experienced joint pains or aches, or menopausal symptoms. But letrozole munched up bone density. Always good to have a bone density scan before you start - mine at 68 was excellent, so it was like money in the bank, I could spare a bit! Best wishes for your recovery and next stages.30ViewsSign in to react to this post0CommentsRe: Post-treatment Tired and can't afford to be
No need to stop! I've never believed that stress causes cancer (although certainly not good for you in general terms) but stopping what you enjoy doesn't do you much good either. Small steps. I could do the 20 minutes in the garden straight away. I had staff to delegate to and most of them (not all!) were pleased to have more control. Those who weren't learned fairly quickly that I was abandoning the old habit, when things didn't go so well, of saying "Oh, give it to me, I'll do it!'. I was happy to advise but it would have to be done again. Efficiency increased. I was over a year after diagnosis, no longer in active treatment, when I was offered a new job - 'Thank you, but I couldn't possibly....' had already left my mouth when I realised that I could. Three conditions - my new boss needed to know my age, my cancer history and that I wanted a four day week. The answers were 'Don't care', 'Don't care' and 'Yes'. Four day weeks are common now, and with a bit of organising and retaining my preference for working till about 7pm on workdays (blissful peace to get on with stuff in an empty office between five and seven!), just as much got done. But a three day weekend was a revelation. The 'battler' terminology lends itself to seeing cancer as an endless struggle against the enemy - and some if it is a struggle. But holding one's ground, and still caring about your body and what it can still do, is important too. Good luck.23ViewsSign in to react to this post0CommentsRe: Post-treatment Tired and can't afford to be
Hi LP020406 I was 68 when I started seeing a counsellor for what turned out to be about six sessions over ten weeks. I wasn't exhausted - but as a previously almost never sick person, I wasn't sure what changes, if any, lymphoedema, an arrythmia and peripheral neuropathy (all manageable) were required in my life. At no time did the excellent woman I was seeing use the term 'insanity' - but she most certainly did not use normal either. I'm (belatedly!) not a fan of 'getting back to normal' - mainly because we only live forwards. Cancer has happened and even with a brilliant recovery, you are no longer exactly the same person. You are a bit older, maybe wiser, almost certainly tougher, and far less surprised by what can just 'happen'. My counsellor was a little more specific - she didn't think there was anything 'normal' about my 'normal' life. Long hours, public events which were lots of fun and also riddled with potential dramas, political environments, see-sawing priorities, lots of 'after hours' time commitments. Quiet weekends? Sometimes, but she nailed me on 'were they really relaxed or was I just recovering sufficiently to start again on Monday?' I enjoyed what I was doing, I enjoyed being the sort of person who could do it, I didn't take almost any time off during treatment, I handled surgery and chemo well. Her prescriptions were simple - at least 20 minutes in the fresh air, doing nothing, daily. Learn to delegate - if that means that the person you have delegated the task to is slower, or even slightly less efficient, see it all as their learning process! Prioritise time for yourself - that is not free time, it's committed time. Stop congratulating yourself for managing tumultuous times, think more about whether you really need them or not. At no time did she mention mortality - I am sure she knew I would get to that in time, which I did. My Jane Eyre principle - 'I will keep in good health and not die' - stood me in good stead for seven decades but it's not perfect! Thinking about time perhaps being finite a bit earlier than I did might have been useful, but better late than never. So start with coffee in the garden and breathing. Delegate. Keep moving forward. Visualise a 'normal' where you can build energy not just expend it (that one took me quite some time!). If you like reading, read. If you like listening to music, do that and nothing else for half an hour, regularly. You'll find a new normal and it may even be better than the old one. Best wishes.13ViewsSign in to react to this post2CommentsRe: Back to work
I had a mastectomy - my surgeon recommended two weeks off. But I went back after one week. Bit bored and had cleaned out the kitchen cupboards! But this really depends on two things - how quickly you heal and your emotional/mental response to the whole thing. I knew from a Caesarian section that I healed quickly and well. I was pretty sure that my relief in the first part being over was probably greater than my overall fear of cancer. Lots of fit and healthy people take time to heal. Lots of stable competent people get temporarily knocked off their feet by a cancer diagnosis. All the heavy lifting I had to do at work was mental. Do whatever feels right for you. If other treatment is likely, you may want to factor in some time off for that too. Best wishes.68ViewsSign in to react to this post1CommentRe: What would you do if you were me?
Commiserations - you have been through a rough time. Unfortunately, the decision must be yours - I am sure you recognise this, but of course it’s helpful to know if someone has faced the same dilemma and how they chose to do so. Tricky thing is that cancers are all rather different, so are treatments and reactions to treatments. I was 68 - twenty years older than you - when diagnosed. I had no reservations, I did what was recommended, mastectomy, chemo, herceptin and hormonal therapy (10 years). I was one of those who managed surgery and chemo pretty well - I still consider lymphoedema, an arrhythmia and peripheral neuropathy a relatively light set of side effects. Ageing (for which there is no cure!) has made the neuropathy a bit worse but still manageable. I was right - the 14 years since have been terrific ones in all sorts of ways. So to me the biggest question is what do you most want to do in the years ahead - because there may be quite a lot! If you have things you really want to do, and can manage that with some preventative treatment, just not all, then that may be the right path for you. Most of all, can you live with whatever decision you make, even if things don’t work out the way you want? In the absence of family or close friends ( who may not always be helpful in such decisions anyway) have you thought of consulting a counsellor about clarifying your own priorities and feeling confident about the path you most want to take? An independent trained ‘ear’ , who can help you to prioritise your own feelings rather than adding another set of opinions, can make a big difference. Very best wishes for the future - whatever lies ahead, the confidence to embrace it is very powerful.23ViewsSign in to react to this post0CommentsRe: Frustrated by Perfect Survirors
Kyra I am not a fan of the 'survivor' tag - people who've had heart attacks, broken hips, or other painful ailments with long term implications don't seem to need the tag. Ditto 'battler' or 'warrior'. Just as cancer is not one thing, recovery isn't either. The intention of the tag may be pure, a pat on the back, we've all done a great job. But sometimes you really don't feel great at all. I am one of those who did do well. But this site is the only place I (irregularly) talk about cancer. One of the things I do say is that trying to get back to your 'old self' isn't possible. Not for any doom or gloom reason, simply that while there may be somewhere in this vast universe where time runs in different directions, we live on a planet where it doesn't. We can't actually go back to anything - not our childhood, a happier time, not even a holiday. We go forward. I didn't go back to my old self - I found counselling very useful. It was only a short time, but it focussed me on what I wanted to do in the future, better, more satisfyingly rather than continuing everything I was before. I started a new job (68), with a compressed week so I had a three day weekend and the same income. Like you, I joined a gym (never too late). Started some philosophy courses. I live with peripheral neuropathy, lymphoedema, an arrythmia and one boob, but it's the only body I have and most of the time it does me proud. The person you are now sounds pretty gutsy to me, perhaps she just needs more time in the sun. Very best wishes.27ViewsSign in to react to this post0Comments
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Let's talk: vaginas, menopause & me
PRIVATE GROUP. This group is a safe, supportive space to talk about sexual health and emotional wellbeing during and after breast cancer. We discuss topics like menopause, vaginal dryness, pain during sex, UTIs, and changes in libido, and share ideas and products that may help. Whether you're navigating intimacy with a partner or reconnecting with yourself, you're not alone here. This is a place for open, respectful conversations and shared understanding.Flat Chat - no breast reconstruction
PRIVATE GROUP. This group is a safe space for those considering, actively choosing or not have had a choice to stay flat after a mastectomy. Whether personal decision or one shaped by circumstance, you're invited to connect and share your experience and images with others on a similar path. Information shared is based on personal experience and not intended as medical advice; always consult your healthcare team for guidance. ⚠️CONTENT WARNING⚠️Posts may include images of surgical outcomes, which some may find distressing. If you need support, please contact the BCNA Helpline—we’re here for you.
