Frustrated by Perfect Survirors

Kyra​ 

I am not a fan of the 'survivor' tag - people who've had heart attacks, broken hips, or other painful ailments with long term implications don't seem to need the tag. Ditto 'battler' or 'warrior'. Just as cancer is not one thing, recovery isn't either. The intention of the tag may be pure, a pat on the back, we've all done a great job. But sometimes you really don't feel great at all. I am one of those who did do well. But this site is the only place I (irregularly) talk about cancer. One of the things I do say is that trying to get back to your 'old self' isn't possible. Not for any doom or gloom reason, simply that while there may be somewhere in this vast universe where time runs in different directions, we live on a planet where it doesn't. We can't actually go back to anything - not our childhood, a happier time, not even a holiday. We go forward. I didn't go back to my old self - I found counselling very useful. It was only a short time, but it focussed me on what I wanted to do in the future, better, more satisfyingly rather than continuing everything I was before. I started a new job (68), with a compressed week so I had a three day weekend and the same income. Like you, I joined a gym (never too late). Started some philosophy courses. I live with peripheral neuropathy, lymphoedema, an arrythmia and one boob, but it's the only body I have and most of the time it does me proud. The person you are now sounds pretty gutsy to me, perhaps she just needs more time in the sun. Very best wishes.