How to prioritise self care?
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@kmakm
I think I'm up to 13 things on my list, Kate, mainly just freshening up a late 1970s house to modernise it in a subtle way without spending a fortune. Painting inside and out and new carpet neither of which has been done for over 10 and 25 years are the first things on the hit list. So when Sarah and Connor move out the walls in their bedroom walls will become paint swatches! But someone else will do the work otherwise my body will really crack the shits with me. Gardening is enough already. Did the whipper snipping last night, we're in Tawonga South, and this morning it felt like I'd had a run in with a truck! Then i start thinking about all that is to be done at Sarah's gardening wise cos they'll need help...ah well that's what ice packs, gym work outs and osteos are for! At least they are 5 min drive away. Zoe is lucky, she has an apartment and the gardening is done for them. Just as well, as she is a 40 min drive, an hour if the traffic is bad. It was rather funny, Zoe bought her apartment within a week of finding it on the net, literally round the corner from where she was renting. Sarah was a bit miffed cos they'd been looking for months! Hehehe...Zoe tends to have the luck. Xx0 -
The new “normal” is a struggle isn’t it @kmakm even without all the additional shit life throws at u. I struggle with the lack of sleep which effects my ability to exercise, my foggy brain, my bloated belly and the fact I now have more fat round my waist than I have ever had in my life (I refer to myself as a neutered bitch). My energy and strength are all over the place - one day I almost feel like my old self and then the next day I feel like a rag doll. I’m constantly frustrated with myself
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I think we honestly have to just be kind to oneself. Took me a while to find this but it certainly helped me stop pushing so hard in regards to exercise which either left me exhausted or feeling guilty for not flogging myself.
https://youtu.be/HlFotiP5D0I
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Hardest thing: ask for help!1
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As we tell everyone else, @kmakm ... deep breaths, one foot in front of the other, one day at a time. Great that you were able to see your psych and get some strategies with the kids.
I am so glad the family meeting went as well as it could - and hope the kids improve on their attitude/behaviour. I hope you do get out on “date nights” and Enjoy some ‘adult’ behaviour again.... book a motel for your own own ‘sleep over’!
@Sister - I haven't been able to click my fingers for months & I used to be able to do a real cracking one!
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I hope things improve soon for you @Kiwi Angel. Maybe as the year since chemo rolls round some of these effects might resolve. My oncologist said it takes a year to get back to recover fully from TC. I hope so. K xox0
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@Artferret Paint swatches on the walls sounds fun. Do post a pic of your 'artwork'! Are you thinking bold, or neutral? Pastel, earthy, moody, fresh?!0
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Exactly @Sister, how do I live now? I fear drifting back into what I was doing before. But before what?? 'Normal' for me was such a long time ago, and as we know having cancer yourself changes so much about you and your life. I've got all this new life stuff going on, and to ignore what's happened to me is pointless, because it can't be ignored, and stupid, because if nothing else we are the sum of our experiences. I don't want cancer to define me, but I don't want the experience to go to waste, kind of. I want to fold it into me, make it a part of me, to salvage something from the experience. I have to TRY to make a silk purse out of the sow's ear that life's delivered me. How indeed...
OMG I totally get the week to make the enquiry & booking thing. I just can't face that stuff to order anymore! I sort of have to work up to it. It's ridiculous! What is THAT about?!
I love your last paragraph. I have screenshotted it and filed for future reference. Mind you, I think 10,000 failures from this point would kill me. We've gotta have a win at some point, don't we?! NED is a good place to start. I hope we can build from here. And that you can get your click back. K xox1 -
Thank you @j9k. I'll try hard to keep some self care as a priority. I won't let it all go I promise. It's just difficult to work out how. And how to do it without feeling guilty because I'm 'indulging' myself. It's the aeroplane mask analogy. Put it on yourself before you put it on your child. I get it intellectually! Just so hard for me to implement it emotionally.
My kids get one freebie a year when it comes to forgetting to bring something to school. After that they're on their own. Real life consequence is definitely the best teacher. Nothing like getting a detention for not having your sport uniform to make you remember it! K xox
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@Patti J Asking for help is very hard. I really feel that well is dry after chemo last year. All my friends rallied round so magnificently. I simply cannot ask for any more help. Everyone's got their own 'thing'. Cancer trumps a lot but I just have find a way to make it all work on my own now.0
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Rubbish @kmakm, you have us and we will rally with you.Monster hugs my friend. We will try a catch up in Melbourne when you have time, maybe next week?0
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Well yes @Blossom1961! I meant in a practical sense. Of course you guys are with me, and I with you. All the way. K xox0
