Night Howls

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  • kmakm
    kmakm Member Posts: 7,974
    edited November 2018
    @SoldierCrab Touched on it very briefly last week. Will revisit this week.
  • kezmusc
    kezmusc Member Posts: 1,553
    WOW @kmakm and @Sister,  Nice work.  I've only done 690 posts since May 2017 LOL!
  • Sister
    Sister Member Posts: 4,961
    Always knew I talked too much!
  • kmakm
    kmakm Member Posts: 7,974
    @Sister @kezmusc *whispers* What does that say about me?!
  • Sister
    Sister Member Posts: 4,961
    I nearly lost it with a policeman yesterday and I usually have a lot of time for our boys and girls in blue.  I was coming home from school with the kids (and on Monday nights it's a quick turnaround to get the youngest fed and back out of the door to swimming) only to get stopped a couple of kms from our place due to a grass fire.  As it was a bad fire day, we entertained ourselves watching the water bombers doing their thing and identifying different group trucks.  We could see, and had been told, that it was a small fire and under control, and that it was more about making sure it was out.  So, more than 40 minutes in a line of traffic which was frustrating and tiring but I understood.  Eventually, we got let through.  I drove past the fire trucks and around the bend, ready to turn onto my road only to find a policeman had cordoned it off.  His response to my "I just live up this road a bit" was a sneery "too bad", at which point I cried, possibly not wisely, "You've got to be kidding me!" and his answer with a smirk, "I'm not".  Bloody arrogant little prick. Bear in mind that the fire was nowhere near this and was almost out.  He said that I would have to go around.  So, obviously I couldn't get any sense from him and had to drive nearly 15kms out of my way, only to get to the other end of the road to find that had also been cordoned off.  That policeman was much more understanding and possibly a bit concerned about the likelihood of dealing with an emotional woman who was about to explode (and probably knowing that there was no real reason for the road to be blocked).  He let me through with instructions to drive with my lights on and watch out for fire trucks.  Of course, there was nothing to be worried about AS THE FIRE WAS NOT AND NEVER WAS THREATENING OUR ROAD.  Sorry for the shouty bit.

    According to my husband who was one of the first on the fire ground, the CFS had told the police there was no need to block the road off but they did it anyway.  I do understand the need for caution and believe me, I know how devastatingly quickly fires can move, but this was just ridiculous and actually served no purpose whatsoever.

    I wonder if I'm on a watchlist now?
  • Kiwi Angel
    Kiwi Angel Member Posts: 1,952
    @Sister I have always not suffered fools well and I am even less tolerant now. I would of lost the plot when I had to go round the long way and found that blocked off too!!  

    @kmakm. Hopefully you had a better sleep and no scary dreams. I didn’t sleep well again so got up st 4.30am for a run. First oncologist appointment since active treatment ended today and feel a little nauseous about it. 

    I have done over 1000 posts since February I think.  :o
  • JJ70
    JJ70 Member Posts: 983
    Hi @kmakm. Bad dreams go away!! Sorry to her yours are still in fine swing. Mine have dissipated as I passed through the one year scanxiety time. I'm hoping yours will too. xx
  • Zoffiel
    Zoffiel Member Posts: 3,374

    I dream all the time (I don't even need to be asleep, it would seem) For the most part they are similar to those I've had all my life--strangely detailed but generally mundane. It's like having a second life where I'm busy doing normal (ish) stuff. I think it is just my brain processing information and occasionally coming up with quite elegant solutions to problems I'm trying to sort out. I have a remarkable degree of recall, if not of the exact activities my night-time self is doing, but of the emotions, smell and noises. It can be frustrating to look at something I've been dreaming about--renovation or gardening projects, study or work tasks--and think 'bugger, I feel like I've already done that.'

    That's for the most part. The unmost ones are a different thing altogether. I don't remember them, but wake with what I can only describe as a physical feeling of fear. My heart is racing and I have this weird sensation in the skin and muscles of my upper body. Full on adrenalin response. It's interesting because I can't figure out what has gone on to frighten me. It usually takes a couple of hours to relax and I'll feel strangely unsettled  for the rest of the day. I could do without those ones, what ever they are, thanks.

  • kmakm
    kmakm Member Posts: 7,974
    I'm similar @Zoffiel. I've always been aware of dreaming, and wake up with full recall. They're always in colour. I'm sometimes aware ofcthem beingvdreams and can control them.

    Sometimes I dream about spending time with deceased loved ones, and wake feeling so happy, a feeling that can stay with me all day. Other days, fury and tears. I often have that feeling of two lives.

    Happy to say no cancer dreams last night and I only woke up twice. @JJ70 @Kiwi Angel, I'm full on into a month of cancerversaries so maybe it's no surprise. K xox
  • Kiwi Angel
    Kiwi Angel Member Posts: 1,952
    @kmakm glad no bad dreams. I am abit weepy today. Just about burst into tears driving past the hospital where I had all my surgeries and where my oncologist is and then just about burst into tears in her office when I asked her if she would consider me “cured” and she said with all her tests and everything I have done she sees no evidence of cancer and expects nothing from all my ultrasounds, mammogram and CT scan in January. I told her I hope I’m not some random anomaly that does the unexpected. At least I don’t have to go back to work today. 
  • arpie
    arpie Member Posts: 8,112
    @Sister    FFS ...... what a 'pain in the proverbial' copper!!  grrrr   I could feel your frustration & upset.   Thank GOD the other 'good cop' let you thru the other end!!  Why on earth would they block the road if there wasn't even any fire 'in it'!?   Maybe a well penned letter would be in order - specially as your hubby mentioned  & the CFS confirmed - there was no need to block the road!!!

    I got stuck on the highway here some years back, blocked due to major fires (I could see the actual flames ahead!) and was turned back - and I missed out on an appointment for my shoulder specialist ......   When I got home, I rang them to let them know & I had the wrong day!   LOL   It save me half of the trip, anyway!  ;) 

    Thank GOD I had a good sleep last night (with the aid of Mr Temase.)   3 nights of no sleep & I should have dropped off, but I wanted to be sure this time!  Then woke up before 7am, nodded off, woke up again, nodded off, ..... 8.30am, got out of bed!  BIG sleep in!

    @Kiwi Angel  - oh gosh ... hoping you are feeling happier again now ..... this bloody disease just keeps on giving!  :(   

    All the best, everyone xxx

  • Wonk
    Wonk Member Posts: 61
    Last night of being ‘me’. Surgery tomorrow. Getting very teary now, been strong all week but reality is hitting in. I don’t want to go to sleep because I don’t want to wake up and it’s time to go.  Have to leave at 6am. Hookwires going in at 7.30am, mapping at 10.00am and surgery at 2.00pm.  This time last week I was blissfully unaware of how my world would change. It’s all happening so fast.  Sorry such a stupid rant when I know there’s so much worse going on out there. I have so many things to be thankful for. And I truly am.
  • Zoffiel
    Zoffiel Member Posts: 3,374
    Hang in there @wonk Mxx
  • Mjheke
    Mjheke Member Posts: 78
    edited November 2018
    Thinking of you today @Wonk. Yes it does go fast, I am a week post-surgery now and still so many challenges in there that I wasn’t expecting.big hugs for today 
    M x
  • Sister
    Sister Member Posts: 4,961
    You'll be right @wonk - you'll get through it.  And you as well @Mjheke