Here Goes
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Gosh, @TabooGal
I hope you are feeling less stressed by what your Onc said .... they have to tell you (within reason) the likely outcomes - but that all sounds a bit harsh to me!
I just try to think that 'It Is What It Is' and we are doing the best to turn it around, by all our surgery, radiation, chemo & tablets - and whatever else we do!
Where abouts do you live? Do you have far to travel to hospital/treatments?
Our local Breast Care Group arranges driving BC folk to either Taree or Port Macquarie for their chemo - tho for my radiation I took advantage of staying at the Rotary Lodge in Port Macquarie (which is heavily subsidised = low cost, but high living standards!) and basically stayed there for the 4 weeks.
When my husband was having his cancer surgery in RNSH in Sydney - we also got a massively reduced daily carpark rate too. Definitely ask for a social worker to see what you can be helped with. I had one of my major bills 'paid for' during my treatment as well (i.e., council, power, water rates etc) - a saving of $400! The Social Worker arranged it for me.
Thinking of you big time .... take care & all the best xxx0 -
@TabooGal The anxiety about the unknown can be crippling. I have ( and still do) swing from positive and confident to the dark place where I can't believe things will be okay.
I would advise getting someone to come with you for chemo if you can - someone you trust to give you support and be yoyr advocate. You don't know how you will feel going in (anxious, probably) and you may be knocked sideways by the first chemo. Good luck.0 -
@arpie I live quite close to a Cancer Centre so am lucky in that way. That's why I thought I would be ok to drive. Its only 10 minutes each way at the most. But have decided to get assistance to get there in case I am too unwell after infusion. I cant imagine all of the travelling you had to do.
@sister I honestly believe I know what it is like to be bi-polar now. I swing from one mood to the other in minutes.
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Yep, I agree with @Zoffiel. You just don't know how you're going to react to your first one so it's best to arrange a lift to and from. After that you'll know what you're capable of. I had an allergic reaction to Docetaxel and had to have Phenergan as a result. It made me so dopey & sleepy there's no way I could drive home from any of my infusions.
You're absolutely right about trying to stay in the moment and living one day at a time. There's no point in crossing bridges until you come to them. And that applies to life, not just breast cancer.
Of course it's easy to say but harder to do! I was a mess before my first chemo. Do your best and reassure yourself with knowing that you're not alone, that most everyone one here has done/is doing it, and never forget why. We're all aiming for as long and as healthy a life as we can manage. Eyes on the prize lovely. Big hug, K xox
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Hi @TabooGal - I totally get that you want chemo to just hurry up and start! I was exactly the same. The sooner it starts, the sooner you know what it will be like, and anticipation is always the worst part!
My husband drove me to my first session and I got a cab home but I was absolutely fine to drive, and have driven myself to and from each treatment since. I would not have anticipated that though, so arranging transport for your first session is the best idea.
Don’t be surprised if it takes a while for your hair to start falling out. There’s a wide range of experiences on here but mine didn’t really start coming out until about 3 days after my 2nd AC chemo. That’s when I really noticed it was coming out in clumps and that’s when I had it cut really short. I still had masses of hair at that time though. I don’t think I would have been ready to cut it before I was losing hair big time - for me, it was a pretty big step.
We’re counting the days with you! And if there’s any strength in collective support then you’ve got masses of it right here!
You’ve absolutely got this @TabooGal
Sending you loads of hugs xxxxxxx0 -
@kmakm Thank you for the reassuring words. I think I need to stop reading about the side effects too.
@Eastmum I'm glad I am not the only one with all of this anxiety. Am sure once I've had the first one I'll be right for the rest of them. Then my stupid mind will go into overdrive about the next stage, radiation
Big hugs to you both xx2 -
@TabooGal never feel that you’re being stupid about it - you’re 100% normal and human! Every feeling and emotion is 100% OK and validated. The important thing is that you can find ways to cope, and it sounds like you’ve your ‘go to’ mechanisms in place for a while.
Dont hestitate to ask for help whenever you need it - just be kind to yourself and attack those demons head on. Never stupid. Xxxx0 -
Hi @TabooGal,
We've all been on that up and down nasty roller coaster. One minute your like bring it on, I got this. and the next your curled up in the corner in a dark cloud. It's very very normal.
If you can get a lift for the first one I would suggest it as well. The AC made me a bit light headed and off balance for a few hours afterwards so I didn't drive to any of them, but did drive myself the whole time on the Paclitaxel.
Our brains like to conjure up worst case scenarios for some very strange reason only known to itself and the fear of the unknown is the hardest part. However, some of us get through much better than we ever thought after reading all those side effects.
If you are prepared for the worst you might just be pleasantly surprised. I went back to work after chemo number 2 and worked part time the whole way through. I only had to take two days off if I remember correctly.
My family had a huge end of year that year. I managed all the birthday parties, formals, graduations, Christmas etc and had a great time at all of them. I continued to go with my husband to his camp drafts, camped in the back of the horse float and partied in the bar with the cowboys.
Some days were crap but there was a lot more that weren't. Just because they till you all these things might happen that doesn't mean they will. Look after yourself lovely. I have my fingers and toes crossed for you.
One day at a time, one step at a time and before you know it you'll be out at the other end.
xoxoxo
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@TabooGal - I had chemo (TC) just round the corner from home so I walked there and back and would of been fine to drive each time - probably depends on your type of chemo and how you handle it as everyone is different. xoxox0
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@eastmum I do find it hard to relinquish my independence. Yesterday I actually asked for help to move a heap of heavy boxes around. Everyone would gladly help me but I have to ask them or they have no idea.
A sweet friend has offered to drive me to my treatment and possibly home after depending on an appointment she has.
@kezmusic How strong are you! Organising all of those events. Yes I agree not driving to my first AC. I was talking to one of the girls at work and realised that a lot of the anxiety is about what will happen on Tuesday. Once I know the routine I hope I relax. I am one of those people if I have an appointment somewhere and I have never been there before, I need to find the address a couple of days earlier.
@kiwiangel I'll learn soon enough. Really hoping to eventually drive myself there and back. Fortunately I only have 4 infusions planned so far and they are 3 weeks apart.
Love you all
Jenny xxx
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@Joannie I hadn't even thought about insurance coverage! I am hoping I can work the next day at least. I only work Mon Wed and Friday. Chemo on Tuesday. Would only mean missing Friday which seems to be the down time from what I have read.
I'll just have to wait and see xxx0
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