Who else can't sleep?
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Take a loaf of bread buy chips and have chip sangers with a lovely beach breeze blowing in your face and shave your head you will feel so much more free.....
thermos of tea bottles of water from home3 -
Hey @Sister you are not far from me. You could always call in here after your trip to the beach. (which one by the way) and I will give you the buzz cut. Lol.
Like all the ladies have said YOU are the priority now.
Hope you get to the beach and have the Fish and Chips.
Jan xxx
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Going to the beach! going to the beach!5
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Early morning update: Bandicoots have left the building for the immediate duration.
Early yesterday afternoon wasn't a fun time as we spent time with my in-laws for their anniversary and his birthday - palliative care at home may sound good but the reality is everyone anxious and fragile and worn down. I do hope he doesn't linger too much longer.
But then...we headed off to the beach! Just to Semaphore as it was the closest and easiest parking. But I didn't mind the shallows - I'm hardly up for the big surf at the moment. We spent hours in the water. The kids knew how much it meant to me and all chose to get along and have fun. Even queuing for 30 minutes for fish and chips wasn't a chore. Then tea down on the foreshore with the sun low in the sky. We watched the sunset (we don't see sunsets at home as we're in a gully) and then headed home. One of those simple, happy and memorable family times.
I've always been a beach girl at heart and, while I knew how low and resentful I felt about not going this season, I don't think I fully appreciated how much I would feel restored by it. When I look back over the last 3 1/2 months, I have done nothing that is pleasurable like that. I've seen friends, of course, but I've not been anyway for fun and much of the time has been spent being unwell in some way, recovering from being unwell or preparing to be unwell. Yesterday was really food for the soul. And I feel that I can now give my husband a little more time to get his head around my head - or more precisely, getting rid of my hair. He's going through some pretty major shit right now, too and I can feel a little more generous. It'll happen - just maybe not immediately.4 -
I am so happt for you @sister! You got a beautiful restorative soul food day. Wonderful.
My sister had much of her palliative care at home and it was very much as you describe it. Tough. Everyone will be exhausted after your father-in-law has gone.
I like your bit about being, preparing & recovering from unwell. So true. I haven't done anything much 'fun' for a long long time. I'll put my thinking cap on and see if I can find something to slot in before my next op.
I hope yesterday's mood elevation continues for you today!0 -
My mother-in-law is in her 80s and almost seems dazed at times - grief, I think. My sister-in-law is taking the brunt of it and is so fragile but there's not a lot I can do for her except give her a shoulder to have a weep and talk. I suspect lack of sleep is taking it's toll there as well. I think that if I ever get to that stage, unless I can afford night nursing, I would opt for final days in a nice hospice with an opening window and garden outside (near the beach, perhaps). I'll have to put that on my list for old age (because I intend to get there) - retirement living, higher level care if necessary, then which hospice the kids send me to. Having the palliative care at home was my father-in-law's wish and he doesn't even know where he is half the time.1
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Dying at home...It's great if it happens quickly, but the lingering thing is just exhausting for everyone. Unfortunately, there is no way of knowing for sure how long these things are going to take and even with the best intentions people really struggle when the process is extended. Very difficult for your family.0
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And, @kmakm The way I feel after yesterday afternoon (and how it felt during), I think it's absolutely essential to think of something restorative to do. I knew that I was yearning to go to the beach so that bit was easy for me and one of the things we've almost always done with a late beach day is fish and chips in view of the ocean (because we almost never eat out and we live so far from the beach), so that came as part of the package. The gift my kids gave to me was recognising the importance of it to me when I said how much I wanted to go and actively choosing to be part of it (never a guarantee with teens and tweens) and helping make it so good. It was important to me too that it be our family enjoying ourselves, and each other, doing something from our normal.
So, put that thinking cap on and come up with something that is pure pleasure and relaxation for you - and fun!1 -
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Perfection0
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@Sister, glad you had a good time. Palliative care at home is tough absolutely. I did it for my mum who was dying of lung cancer and it was the toughest thing I have ever had to see or do. It killed me inside watching her and waiting for the inevitable. I would not have had it any other way, we all wanted her to be at home surrounded by love and familiar surroundings. Stress is unbelievable so hope your family is coping as best they can.
Hope you have more nice outings at the beach.1
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