Recovery Emotions

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  • arpie
    arpie Member Posts: 7,586 ✭
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    I am not far enough 'down the road' to be confident of a 'clear life' ahead - I am not sure if I will EVER lose that 'what if'  ..... but .... right NOW ... I am getting out, doing what I enjoy doing, & have been able to get back to do most of what I was doing before my diagnosis, surgery, radiation & tablets ...... 

    When you are in that 'special space' of doing something you love - you can actually block out most negative and worrying thoughts ...

     I hope you can find that ‘special space’ to help you move on xxx

    Be true to yourself ..... and all the best 


  • kmakm
    kmakm Member Posts: 7,974 ✭
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    I'm having a shit day today. Anxious, and weepy. Just feel like I can't cope with life anymore. I've had a great two weeks and I was hoping it would carry me through a bit longer.

    I've done the five things mindfulness, just taken a Valium after trying to get on top of the anxiety by myself all day, and now I'm going l to meditate for a bit before heading into the kitchen to prepare dinner.

    Seeing my GP on Wednesday. I'll ask if she can recommend a psychologist for me. I need some professional help.

    I feel so pathetic posting this, but it's for those of you who asked me to not stop with these 'struggling' posts.

    I'm also going to take some painkillers as I'm totally fed up with my aching ankles. I just want to stop feeling pain, emotional and physical.
  • Annie C
    Annie C Member Posts: 849 ✭
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    @kmakm
    Oh Kate
    I hope that you hang in there. I still have days / weeks where I feel that I cannot cope. I do not know what sparks it off. It can be something as silly as something out of place, a piece of sewing that went wrong, getting organised for these few days away or just life biting me on the bum. 

    I have given up on mindfulness. I just ride out the shitty time. Hide myself away and lick my wounds.

    Lately I find myself asking "What happened to me". 

    I have not found the answer. Lots of people told me it would "get better". 

    Well they have obviously never experienced what you and I have. 

    Big hugs to you Kate.

    Annie
  • kmakm
    kmakm Member Posts: 7,974 ✭
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    @Annie C Thanks Annie.
  • arpie
    arpie Member Posts: 7,586 ✭
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    Big hugs to BOTH of you, @Annie C   and @kmakm  - and some kisses too!   xxxx

    I hope your GP can get you in to see someone asap, Kate xx

  • tigerbeth
    tigerbeth Member Posts: 539 ✭
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    Oh @kmakm & @Annie C 
    wish I had the answer for you ! 
    I feel so sad for you both , I do have my moments too but not to the degree you do . 
    Kate  next time call me please , you could have come  & sat in my garden with me today ! Contemplating tomorrow ,dads funeral 
    Thinking of you both xxx
  • iserbrown
    iserbrown Member Posts: 5,552 ✭
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    @tigerbeth
    Sorry to read it's your Dad's funeral.
    Never easy!
    Take care 
    Sending you a virtual hug
  • arpie
    arpie Member Posts: 7,586 ✭
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    Thinking of you tomorrow, @tigerbeth   xx

  • Sister
    Sister Member Posts: 4,960 ✭
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    @kmakm I had hoped that today with some time for yourself would have been relaxing . I'm so sorry to hear that things have gotten overwhelming. I often wonder if anything will ever be normal again. Thinking of you.

    And if you, @tigerbeth - I hope your dad's funeral is as joyous as it can be if that makes sense.
  • Afraser
    Afraser Member Posts: 4,373 ✭
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    Dear @kmacm
    I think you are right. You have no hesitation about seeking (and seeking again) help for the body so don't delay about the mind. It's not weakness or lack of capacity, from my own experience it's more about a lack of any reference point with this particular sort of uncertainty and fear that your normal coping mechanisms are down the gurgler. Your 'normal' has been anything but, so getting back to normal is a particular challenge. Sometimes we need something other, not us, not our friends, not our family, to refocus and get clear about life again. I have no doubt that you will do so, you just have to shed any latent notions about pulling yourself up by your own bootstraps!! You'd help someone else in a flash, so now time for you. Best wishes. 
  • Annie C
    Annie C Member Posts: 849 ✭
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    @tigerbeth
    Will be thinking of you tomorrow when you celebrate your father's life. 

    Remember the good times and all that he achieved (especially his orchid collection).

    Take care and thankyou for your thoughts. 
     
    Annie.
  • kmakm
    kmakm Member Posts: 7,974 ✭
    edited October 2018
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    @Sister Kids back to school today. I've got a lot to do but will try to snatch a couple of moments for myself.

    I think things will be 'normal' again one day but the normal is the new one and I'm flailing about within that trying to get my bearings.
  • kmakm
    kmakm Member Posts: 7,974 ✭
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    @Afraser Exactly. You put that perfectly. Thank you.
  • Kiwi Angel
    Kiwi Angel Member Posts: 1,952 ✭
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    @kmakm @Annie C @tigerbeth sending u all big, squishy, virtual hugs xoxo
  • kmakm
    kmakm Member Posts: 7,974 ✭
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    @Kiwi Angel Thank you sweets. Gratefully received.

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