Feeling Down
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I can still swing an axe @wendy55 but my surgeon, who had an absolute conniption when he found out I had regained my aim, told me it was a stupid thing to do. So I bought a hydraulic log splitter which means I can deal with all the big gnarly stuff everyone else leaves behind. All I have to do is heave it in and out of the trailer
Silver linings, hey? 3 -
I am SO sorry to hear you're having a bad time of it just now, @Kiwi Angel - none of us know just 'when it will hit' - but we can be pretty confident that sometime or another - it WILL hit. Absolutely no-one is immune. And definitely totally normal!!
You've had a helluva lot on your plate - so, a the end of the chemo, this is the 'relief valve' .... otherwise we would explode!
Try not to get too anxious about the Tamoxifen - not everyone gets all the symptoms! Fingers crossed you sail thru it!! xx BIG hugs coming your way from Forster xxxx
It's terrific that you were able to raise it here & get all the love & support that only those who've gone thru it can give.
What a bugger that your Holiday dates were changed - that was the button, I reckon! It sounds like hubby has sorted your weekend out nicely tho, so enjoy the celebrations & enjoy being pampered!
We are all very good at 'getting on with it' and pretending that everything is OK with ourselves, but deep down, I think we know that there is this 'black dog' that can jump out & scare the shit out of us at any time. The good thing is - that it is a temporary situation & by talking about it with family & friends - we will get thru it.
One of my uke buddies came back after 3 weeks away yesterday & asked me how I was going with my tablets - and I got all teary!! I've been fine with it all up til now ..... ya never know when it will hit!
Yep, the surgery & initial treatment may be over - but we're not over it .... yet. That will come, hopefully with time.
I've also become pretty antisocial - I can't be bothered inviting friends over for dinner (mind you - that's been coming on over the last few years! LOL) I'd rather pay for us all to go out for dinner! Less stress! Hubby, being quite deaf (even with his hearing aids) and having mild/serious dementia has also become less social over the last few years, so maybe I caught it from him!?
Take care, be kind to yourself ..... have a GREAT WEEKEND!! xxx
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@arpie thanks for your kind words - it’s good too raise things here and all the guys and girls know what it’s like. I definitely think the trigger was the stuff up last week. Haven’t had time to feel too sad as has been a whirlwind of surgery and treatment and now it’s all really done (hopefully forever) apart from the tablets which I think leaves u feeling so “what now”? Planning on picking myself up and having the best weekend.1
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@Zoffiel Oh for a chainsaw today! Don't know what I would attack first, but something would fall!
@Kiwi Angel We do far too much "sucking it up". I think there's something in the air this week. Lots of misery around. We all need virtual hugs.3 -
I'm doing the splitting tmoz, @Flaneuse. I can channel random fury for you if you like. Let's say between 10 and 11 am? There will be banging, grinding noises, swearing, dust and all the violence a 40 tonne splitter can deliver. Grab earmuffs and a pair of safety glasses, pretend you are here and cheer as the ram cleaves your adversary into bits. I will be totally rooted by noon but will still have to clean up; you can have a nap for me about that time, if you wouldn't mind4
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I think there's a virtual splitter working on my ankles at the moment, such is the pain...0
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Yikes, Kate. That sounds ghastly. Have you been prescribed any pain-killers for that?0
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@Zoffiel
My husband, who is a wood freak, took one look at your trailer load and began to plan how to get his truck, chainsaws and woodmill over your way. Reckons it would be worth the trip from the Kimberley. Only he would not dream of burning the timber but turn it on his wood turning lathe. You should see the beautiful bowls he turns. I swear there is not a tree that is safe in Derby. I have even lost limbs off my poincianas!
@Kiwi Angel I am having a hard time at the moment. It's exactly 12 months to when I received my diagnosis. The day, date, time and the waiting room is etched forever in my memory.
We had to cancell a holiday to New Zealand as it came smack bang in the middle of treatment. The money saved for that trip was used to fund our stay in Perth (2,300 km from home) during treatment. All gone now.
I did sewing jobs for 1 shop in town and made (please don't laugh) coffin pillows for the town's funeral business. I used to joke that the pillows were the best there is as my head was going to be on one of these one day! F**k that was a bit close to home. The earnings supplemented our pensions. Lost those 2 sewing contracts.
Anyway @Kiwi Angel when I am really down I bake. @onemargie's brownies recipie was tried out today (minus the baileys but with the cream). Yum, no wonder the rear is spreading. One was not enough!
@steplightly I have found journalling helpful. I have now filled 2 in a year. I love writing. Any writing. Thoughts on cancer, little sayings that have grabbed my attention, words of inspiration and just day to day thoughts and emotions. The journals could never be published. Too many poisonous mentions of people who have pissed me off!
Take care all and hang in there.
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Chemo buddy - I'm sorry to hear you're feeling down. I bet it was your flight cancellation that started it off. I'm up and down and all over the shop. I started getting teary behind my goggles on the radiation table today . I was feeling sorry for myself after seeing the radiation oncologist.
Sounds like you have a nice weekend coming up and a wonderful husband to share it with . Hang in there . You've been through an awful lot this year and still digesting all of it. Sending you special hugs . Take care xxxx1 -
@Flaneuse No, not as yet. From what I gather here, osteo-paracetemol is the only thing. I've taken some tonight. Sometimes it takes the edge off, and at others it barely makes a difference. It's been just over a month I've been taking the AI; time to shoot off an email to my oncologist.0
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@Flaneuse - wonder if the winter blues have a hand in it too.
@kmakm your poor ankles ask your onc if u can take or get a script for something stronger.
@Annie C big virtual hugs to you. I don’t bake much as I’m crap at it. I’m more of a cook - currently have a big pot of veggie stock simmering and will make a pumpkin soup too.
@Finch not u too chemo buddy - big hugs to you.
I think we we are all allowed to feel sorry for ourselves sometimes in here - we have all been through the wringer physically and emotionally- big hugs to you all xoxxo1 -
Thanks everyone for your kind words the other day. Had a wonderful weekend with my husband and he was very supportive when he found out I had been feeling down. Feeling more positive again this week but will still be enquiring about booking a few sessions with a shrink.2
