Forum Discussion
Feeling Down
I have been feeling quite sad the last couple of days. I don’t know if it is cause the whole BC experience this year has hit me or it’s this time last week we were supposed to go on our holiday and we got delayed a day and had to cut it short - silly I know but I had been so looking forward to it and I don’t seem to take disappointment as well at the moment. I have so many fun things to look forward to - it’s our wedding anniversary on Monday so we are going out for a fancy lunch on Saturday, have a fun overnight planned for hubbys Birthday next month, he is taking me to Canberra for the weekend for my birthday in September and I have a couple of weeks off in October. Just feel over the last couple of days like I have lost the joy in life. I used to be a full time smoker but for the last several years I have been casual but the last week all I feel like doing is smoking and drinking on the weekends (silly I know after what I have been through). The worst thing is apart from sore muscles and hot flushes I almost feel like my old self again. There could be some apprehension about starting the tamoxifen tablets on Monday and how they are going to affect me. I find it really tough when I feel like this (last happened when I lost my mother and then my father) as I’m such a strong person that likes to pride myself on “sucking it up and getting through it”, which I have done going through BC all this year. I know this can be a normal feeling and a lot of u are going through the same thing. I have got a mental health plan from my doctor so might be time to make an appointment t with the shrink. I know I will get through this but just thought I might feel better to put it out there.
50 Replies
This is one of those posts I left in drafts. Wonder what I was going to say!- @arpie - u r definitely getting your revenge!!
- Oh darn!! Sorry to hear of your concerns, @"Kiwi Angel" and @Sister ..... Definitely better to get them checked out sooner than later .... I hope all goes well with both of you. xxx
Today, I got 20+ fish teeth bite marks on my affected side (on my hand ...) but am not anticipating any problems, as I only had the 3 nodes out - but will keep an eye on it. As penance for biting me - the Tailor is now my dinner tomorrow night!! ;)
All the best, ladies xxx - @sister - Im the same - not really looking forward to talking about my "feelings" and I got a cardboard cut on my affected side last week and didn't realise till I got home so scrubbed the crap out of it!!
- I've got to sort something out, too. Putting it off because I've not had a good track record with opening up in the past.
And I'm quietly freaking out because I took the skin off my knuckle quite well with the grater last night and it's the first cut I've had on the affected side since the node clearance. Antiseptic used immediately but still imagining the worst. - @kmakm - that ok - I thought you were talking about some new fangled thing ;-)
- @"Kiwi Angel" By talk theapy I just meant talking to a counsellor of some sort! Sorry. K xox
- @kmakm. I did some counselling when my mother passed away about 15 years ago but not specifically talk therapy - what does that involve? I found a weird spot near my scar this morning and even though every test I have had in the last 6 months has been clear (even my most recent bone scan) I immediately thought "its back". Im seeing my surgeon next week so if its still there Ill bring it up with her. Think it could be a certain bra rubbing on the area. I don't think that fear will ever go away for me. Good on you making an appointment too xoxo
- @"Kiwi Angel" Another well done Steph. You're getting shit done today. I finally made my appointment, seeing her next Monday. I am finding living with the mood swings very challenging (menopause or cancer or Letrozole or all three?) and I want to see if there's a way of living with out a pit of fear in my stomach and without wanting to cry pretty much all the time. Still feel like there's a touch of PTSD going on. Have you evet done talk therapy before? BC brought me to it for the first time. K xox
- Made an appointment to see the shrink at the end of next month (first available that she had that suited me). Had to ring my oncologists office to get her number and the receptionist there said she was lovely too.
