Is that right? Did you really say that?
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After 2 x surgeries, radiotherapy and medication someone said, "dont you need chemo?"
I said "no". They said, "oh obviously your cancer mus'nt be all that bad than"
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People just don’t get it! Those types of comments still throw me every time, I find they often come from the people you least expect. When I sat my own parents down to tell them, my own mother just looked at me, tapped her fingers on the table and said “oh well”, then nothing!!!! My husband nearly exploded with outrage, he calmly suggested that maybe I might need a hug??? It was then that I realised there are going to be people that offer emotional support and many that don’t know how. Sad but true. I have a wonderful mother-in-law, thankfully6
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@Tilly45
My own mother's response was have you got a funeral fund!!!!! like OMG hello
I am 5 years out with NED and she still tells people this is my daughter with BC ... I just shake my head
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Some of these mothers don’t deserve us!2
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Yes I've had many stories like that and I always think why would you tell someone that if you know there being treated for breast cancer.Bon Bon said:Ha ha I am amazed at how many people tell me all about a friend or relative that had BC then go on to but she died
oh and I made I toddler scream and run to his mummy when I went turbenless in the supermarket1 -
I've had:
"well at least your cancer isn't as bad as mine...." then the very next day rings me and says "actually I've done some research and yours is actually worse than mine"...... didn't know whether to feel proud or sad!!
And..
When I was upset one day after my double mx, husband says "well at least you don't have cancer anymore so don't worry" .... oh ok
and the old favourite - " at least your boobs will look fantastic " .... yeah... but feel like two sandbags are super glued to my chest with a steel cage inserted inside my rib cage and feel rock hard and not be able to move and have no nipples, huge scars and no feeling!
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Best post ever !! I constantly have my dad telling me to cut out sugar or to eat stupid apricot kernels to avoid reoccurrence. Because yep what we eat or don’t eat causes cancer !
Ive also heard the “breast cancer is the easiest to cure” and then I reply back with oh yeah so how did my mum die from beast cancer ?!
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My best was when a fellow cancer patient was asking me about treatment. So I said had surgery now having chemo and then radiation. But reiterated that I was up to chemo.
He looks at me and says “ My mate Bob and I were diagnosed with stomach cancer at the same time. We then had the same surgery.”
”Bob started chemo and I didn’t and guess what?”
I obligingly said “what?”...
He said “Bob’s dead”.
Riiiiiiiiiiight........
Being told I am brave is another thing that is weird. I’m not brave. I’m getting on with this treatment because there is no other choice if I want to improve my chances of survival. That’s it. Nothing brave about it. Ride the wave.
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I kept this one from when I was having chemo. I was lucky and had a relatively good run with chemo, but oh, how I hated the "brave battler" :
Having cancer treatment is
mostly a matter of doing what you're told when you're told to do it. There is
not much choice involved.I, like most cancer
patients, fronted up and put on a gown, or fronted up and held my arm out for
an oncology nurse to find a viable vein when and where directed. I was often
terrified and there were times I was a blubbering mess. Constantly putting
cancer under the "brave" banner places undue pressure on people to
present a stoic face to the world, when they feel like screaming or crying.
Referring to it as a "battle" is upping the ante on people just
trying to do the best they can each day and getting on with the show. Fellow
journalists, please, please find a couple of new words to replace "brave
battle". You're creative, you can do it. While you're at it, think about
losing the cancer "sufferer" descriptor. It makes me feel like a
hopeless leper in Biblical times.Mandy Squires, Geelong
Advertiser, May 17 2013
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I told my dad I had breast cancer first, then my sister. She said "Is that the official diagnosis?" I said yes, I needed surgery, chemo and radiation. She said, "Well, the chemo and radiation are going to kill you anyway." I didn't say anything but the next day she said she wanted to apologise as she MAY have said the wrong thing! Possibly!
I quite liked the response from a 'friend' whose brother I had been dating: "Maybe it's best you just stay friends with X as he's already had one wife die on him."!!! I said I didn't intend to die. Didn't say I wan't intending to get married either! That friendship has sailed!3 -
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Well, today I had an appointment with my GP who I've been going to for over 20 years but I had to break the news to her about my breast cancer diagnosis because she's been away and wouldn't have seen any reports yet. Her reaction was to shout out 'Oh Shit!' with eyes as big as saucers - then she clamped her hand over her mouth - hahahahahaha
Instead of consoling me, I was telling her it would all be OK.5 -
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Ha, @Eastmum that reminds me of the first conversation I had with my very young GP when my path results came back in 2006. I'd already seen the surgeon and reviewed the grim news.
I've zombie walked into his office to met with 'Well, you are all clear, you can relax now.' I've done a classic double take and said 'No, it's cancer.' Cue patronizing reply, 'No, it's not.' This goes back and forward at increasing volume until I'm snarling 'Read the fucking report.'
More eyerolling and paper shuffling then dead silence (apart from me panting in the background) Then, 'Oh. Sorry.'
Bizarrely I felt like I had won some sort of competition. Not so bizarrely the relationship soured somewhat after that.
I still wonder if he'd mixed me up with someone else. I hope that if he had, mine was the first appointment so he didn't have to call someone back and tell them they didn't really have cancer, that it was all a misunderstanding.4
