Is that right? Did you really say that?



  • PatsyNPatsyN Byron BayMember Posts: 295
    I'm still bald and have been mistaken for a buddhist nun, a circus performer and a radical lesbian - depends what I'm wearing.
    I've had many catastophe's where well meaning friends say the wrong thing.
    Everyone says how well I look and inside I die a little death everytime I hear those words.
    Lots of people feel uncomfortable with cancer and will just blurt out anything, like my panelbeater the other day.
    Trying to express his sorrow at my situation, he started on about how dreadful it must be for young girls to lose such an important part of their sexual identity. I tried my best to distract him from the topic but didn't feel at all affronted by his ramblings - he meant well.
    The worst thing I ever heard from someone was when I had a newborn baby in the NICU at Royal North Shore Hospital in Sydney. "At least you've got 2 healthy children to go home to"!
  • onemargieonemargie queenslandMember Posts: 1,234
    “Oh you’re so brave aren’t you margie” definately felt like slapping that one lol. Xx
  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] Posts: 0
    edited January 2018
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  • LucyELucyE Member Posts: 308
    edited January 2018
    When I had to withdraw from my subject at uni I got a call from a woman from the uni who asked me why I had dropped out. I told her that I had breast cancer. Without missing a beat, she asked me “Any other reason?, are you happy with the lecturers? . . Then she went on to ask a list of about 10 other questions in a very upbeat tone. I thought if only you knew! 
  • SoldierCrabSoldierCrab Bathurst NSW Member Posts: 3,211
    @LucyE oh dear she was just following her script, I know my Daughter does that type of work at Uni whilst also being a Uni student.... but due to my BC diagnosis she has found it  helpful to go off script when she gets a reply like yours and ask if there is anything that the Uni can do in regards to supports and extensions of times etc or leave of absence etc. 
    When I realised that is it often 19/20yr old Uni students who do those paid jobs at uni it made sense about how  they follow script and answer.  They have no understanding and in general we just dont want them to have need to understand it because that would mean they had BC ... 

  • LucyELucyE Member Posts: 308
    @SoldierCrab you are right, she did sound very young and probably wasn’t used to that response. It sounds like your daughter is doing a wonderful job! 
  • water_nymphwater_nymph Member Posts: 20
    So heartening to read that other people also get such ridiculous things said to them too
  • SoldierCrabSoldierCrab Bathurst NSW Member Posts: 3,211
    she is trying her best there have been days were she went into the supervisors office closed the door and burst into tears because for her, it brings it all up again my diagnosis, but she is training to be a psychologist and said to me I need to learn to handle these things effectively mum.. if it has been a day with multiple calls like that she often comes home makes me a cuppa takes my 2 phones (work/personal) and puts them on silent I know she needs to debrief without telling me peoples names, etc. ..... Some of her friends who work in the centre with her at 19/20 and never experienced any life threatening incidents in their home life so are really drowning at times. I hope that my diagnosis has actually prepared her more for what she does now and in the future. 
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