Is that right? Did you really say that?
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@AllyJay I’m putting on my respiratory mask (yes I took a box or two from my last shift at the hospital before going on leave 😂😉) and going to head to the beach to walk my pooch. Chin up is right. Enough wallowing time for living.
I know I would be fine to drive after a few hours but no one can guarantee they won’t give me any midaz etc and I don’t want to be cohersed into signing a discharge against medical advice form if no “responsible carer” is there to pick me up.
The self pity today though is real - like it was my choice to get cancer at 27 when my mum died 10 years ago, dad is hopeless, sister disabled and hubs family all overseas.
But chin up buttercup outside for fresh air I go!0 -
If your hospital is a public one, could you ask for a cab voucher? Once I was told they needed my bed in A & E at 2 am after telling my husband (at about 10 pm after we had been there since 9 am the previous morning) that he could go home. They said I'd be kept overnight and sent to the EMU ward, and would be reassessed in the morning. I knew he would have had a beer when he got home and that he wouldn't drive, even although he would have been well under the limit. I refused to pay $120.00 for a cab, as if I had known that they were going to discharge me that night, I would have gone home with him four hours before. They offered me a cab voucher (they must have really wanted that bed)!!! and I accepted. At least I got to sleep in my own bed for a few hours. As it happened, I was called back to the hospital by my neurosurgeon's registrar the next morning, and spent the following nine days as their bed hogging guest.2
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I don't know how far you are from hospital but maybe taxi is the way to go. I had my port put in under general so always knew that I wouldn't be allowed to drive afterwards.0
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A woman I’ve known most of my life (not a friend), saw me a few weeks ago & said * I’ve got a suggestion. If you’re going to wear that thing on your head, you need to pulls some strands of hair out! You look like you’ve been sick* 😳0
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@youngdogmum can't suggest anything as I never had the port with my chemo but giving you a big hug and hope you sort things out okay. So true about friends. I had people who I called good friends who had little contact and even turned the other way when I saw them in the supermarket then others I didn't really know that well turn up on the doorstep with open arms, flowers, choccy and frozen meals. Go figure. xox
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That massively sucks @youngdogmum. There's always Uber but honestly, the excuse would have to be iron clad to not to help a friend with cancer ffs... I hope one day they come to their senses and apologise to you.
You get to indulge in some self pity with BC, let alone with the hand you've been dealt. Big hug, K xox0 -
Thanks girls 😉 truly no one understands it until you’ve been through it. I hate having expectations of people but I thought this year was my year to be selfish and rely on others for a change.. apparently not. A lovely nurse colleague is going to drive me - her 3 month old baby isn’t an excuse for her!!! How thoughtful and kind.
I had thought about the taxi voucher but not sure if I’d get approved; we were in the middle of selling our place in Brisbane and moving to the Gold Coast when I was diagnosed.. so I’ve continued treatment in Bris for now.
I am thinking about having it transferred to GCUH the oncology team are behind the move and it’s not going to change much. I don’t really like the breast CNC for chemo at my current hospital whereas I loved my McGrath surgery CNC and my surgeon and plan on seeing him privately for follow up and paying his room fees !
Sorry that rambled on didn’t it!
Got a lovely new wig in the mail today and a package from in-laws so always something around the corner to brighten my day up!!!6 -
@youngdogmum I think many of us have found it s not out 'oldest' friends who step up when the going get tough. And it is tough, trying to maintain the balance between being independent and jumping into the pity pond. Terribly stressful for you, and no doubt your partner who will be worried sick and riddled with guilt. If someone who is not close has offered, ask them.
Try to think laterally about this. If your partner can't drive you and your friends are busy, does one of them live close enough to the hospital that you can cab it to there when you are discharged, let yourself in and wait for your partner to pick you up? This is an important procedure and there has to be some solution. It doesn't matter how early you arrive at the hospital--if cancer teaches anything it teaches you how to wait--and if you have to discharge and go and sit in the local library until someone can collect you it is a third rate option, but at least someone will be around to call an ambulance if you need one.
So much 'Garghh' about this. I've been known to drive home when I'm not supposed to and can only be grateful i haven't caused some catastrophic accident that I'd spend my life regretting.
As a last resort, can you contact the social worker and see if they have any volunteers who can transport you. Then you'll just have to flub the amount of time you will be at home on your own. Mxx
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Goodo, you posted while i was two finger typing!1
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@youngdogmun, as AlkyJay says. This sorts the Chaff out When the going gets tough, the tough get going. Better to know now who you don't need in your life. New people will come into your life. A friends mother in law is not getting the support she hoped for from her son and his wife despite being terminal. She messages me her thoughts and all the things her family should be helping with. I'm a long way from her but if she was closer I could be such a help to her She did say I was a godsend to her, which I thought was very sweet of her. If my communication and the occasional inspiration pics I send her are a comfort, then I'm happy. When I went through chemo my husband left home at 3.30am and got back at 8.45pm. I had no one near enough to ever help me so had to just get on with it. It makes you stronger and independent. I think if I'd of had lots of help it would have prolonged the sense of being ill Although I never felt ill in general I was only ever ill from the side effects.. Your therapy centre, and if you have a breast care nurse will be able to tell you of any available help if you need it. Nows the time to look forward with positivity and not linger over the negatives. There are many instances in life where we find out who are true friends are, but like my wardrobe, they all need a clean out now and then. Wishing you a successful recovery .2
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It is amazing who will step up and help. It's sometimes the once you never expected.2
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Agreed. @Sister. Often it is the most unlikely person who supports you the most, whilst others 'offer' but never come thru.
A friend of hubby's in NZ who ignored him all the way thru his cancer treatment and only made contact & visited once he was 'OK' ..... has now been diagnosed with a brain tumour, requiring chemo & bone marrow transplant & at least 6 months in hospital. He has also been a top triathlete & kept very fit, tho he would now be in his late 60s or early 70s .... we've both been in contact with him to offer support to him & his family.
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