What NOT to say to people affected with breast cancer

124

Comments

  • Hopes_and_Dreams
    Hopes_and_Dreams Member Posts: 760
    One of the nicest things said to me was from a group of girlfriends I work with. When I told them my diagnosis they said "you are not alone in this, we are all here with you". They gave me my space but picked me up for a coffee/dinner or simply phoned to say they were thinking of me and could they do anything.
    As others have said (except for the handful of completely insensitive, ignorant fools!) most people don't know what to say and default to telling us to be positive and strong. Jane xx

  • Cosette
    Cosette Member Posts: 612
    edited April 2017
    BCNA's social media team posted about this on Facebook. In the comments, people have been sharing their own stories. There are some doozies. You don't have to be a Facebook member to read them. And if you are on Facebook, like our page  ;)

    See it here: http://bit.ly/2pER9G8
  • Zoffiel
    Zoffiel Member Posts: 3,374
    Yep, yep and yep.
    Terribly tempting seeing that thread to comment on it. The thing is, I have only told people about my recurrence individually; if they haven't seen or contacted me in the last six months or so there is a good chance they won't have found out through social media. 
    You can tinker with your privacy settings, but if you comment on a thread like this and haven't already 'outed' yourself...
    Another thing I don't need is 'Why didn't you tell me, I'm so upset' from someone who is an old school friend or ex colleague who I haven't spoken to in years.
    Just sayin'...
  • InkPetal
    InkPetal Member Posts: 499
    LMFAO @Cosette_BCNA  APRICOT KERNELS!!
    I've heard weed shrinks tumors and frankincense helps heal in unspecific ways (does smell amazing though) but good grief. Oh guys, know what obviously cures cancer, those stringy bits of banana, big pharma's totally hiding that though. :lol:
  • onemargie
    onemargie Member Posts: 1,264
    I was told stress causes breast cancer you know and you should take turmeric that's the miracle drug! I must of talked to the same person as you @InkPetal !! WTF!!
  • Annedipa
    Annedipa Member Posts: 73
    A hairdresser told me my curls were gorgeous. When i explained how i got them she thought it was totally worth it. Yeah no!!
  • iserbrown
    iserbrown Member Posts: 5,735
  • melclarity
    melclarity Member Posts: 3,528
    OMG you know I love alternative things, but why oh why oh why do people think the shit they cure cancer I will never know!!! They are great at treating symptoms and side effects, thats the point OMG! GRRRRR!!! LOL 
  • AineG
    AineG Member Posts: 53
    Not sure if this fits under here, but I had a "friend" say to me " so have you thought about the gender thing?"  
    SERIOUSLY, opting not to reconstruct is not an end run around gender re-assignment. At 44 I did not wake up and think - now that I have (had) breast cancer I think I might change sex!!!   What THe....   ????
  • Cosette
    Cosette Member Posts: 612
    edited May 2017
  • Annieway2017
    Annieway2017 Member Posts: 5
    Worst is when it's the people close to you giving comments. Here are some of the comments I received during my treatment:
    a. Comparing going to the hospital for cancer treatment vs checkups after giving birth. 
    b. 'You need to change your lifestyle'! I consider myself healthy in general before getting bc. I don't smoke, rarely drink alcohol, I cook my food most of the time etc. 
    c. "Oh you only have 1 toilet" chemo meds are very toxic. It's like telling me it's a requirement to have more than one toilet at home before getting cancer to be safe for other people living with me.
  • AineG
    AineG Member Posts: 53
    @Cosette_BCNA  That's what I thought!!  :):)