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melclarity
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Re: Survivorship: The Part We Don’t Talk About — But Should
arpie Hello! lovely to hear from you. To hear of your adventures was so great! Oh yes the A.I.'s well that's a whole other thing isn't it. I do agree, that too, can't say anything to family or friends about the thereafter. They just don't get it and how could they, so we soldier on and don't talk about it. We are told we should be grateful for treatments that saved us. Who is saying we are not? But it's not talked about the 'new life' and the compromised life beyond. I guess at 58, I didn't realize my well being would be compromised to this extent. I'm forever optimistic and continue to work full time with no retirement in sight. Some days are very difficult physically and so I wanted to acknowledge everyone's path who are traveling this. Yes I survived two diagnoses and last year got my 10 year clearance and booted from my oncologist YAY!! All the best, keep enjoying the things you do. Was great to hear how you are doing. xx :) Melinda27Views3likes1CommentRe: Survivorship: The Part We Don’t Talk About — But Should
Tri so nice to see you here and I thank you for sharing your experience too. Together we are stronger, acknowledging the truth doesn't diminish our gratitude. We are human and our paths whilst similar are all unique to each other. I also believe we make the right decisions for ourselves at the time they are made. I am so pleased to hear after 3 years you have some good news, winning! I agree that I feel propelled age wise, whilst only 58 am navigating the fact that my physical self has aged more rapidly than someone not been down this road. Acknowledging that helps me realise how fragile we are, and whilst there are some elements of all of this that really hurt to come to terms with. So inspite of this new version, I hope you move forward with confidence in how amazing you are. Knowing you are not alone in the thereafter treatment. I wish you all the best into a healthy and bright tomorrow. Melinda xo31Views5likes0CommentsRe: Survivorship: The Part We Don’t Talk About — But Should
iserbrown so lovely to hear from you Christine. I can only imagine how being a carer for your sister would be challenging at times. Certainly not an easy road, and it is so important that you take care of you along the way too. Couldn't agree more. That's so kind of you to say, I think all of us sharing a time in our lives on BCNA has been so validating and crucial to this horrible disease. I took value in your sharing. I have to say inspite of my new challenges, my optimism has never wavered. Something so valuable that my Psychologist said to me at the time I was deliberating over a mastectomy. It was one of the toughest decisions of my life at that time. She said, I am not just my physical self, it will change, the depth of who I am remains no matter what. She also said and I cannot stress this enough to anyone on here. The fact that you have MADE it through your path to this date is testament that YOU WILL get through whatever comes. Even when it feels impossible and you're so broken, your history has showed that you ALWAYS get through. I never envisaged these health issues at 58 and yet here we are. So I don't stop living or doing the things I enjoy. However that retirement age of 67 seems slightly cruel for me to climb to. So day at a time! one challenge at a time. Lovely to hear from you Christine, take care of you! xxoo14Views2likes0CommentsRe: Survivorship: The Part We Don’t Talk About — But Should
iserbrown Lovely to see you here! it's been a very long time. I'm sorry to hear of your leg pain! Thank goodness we have a sense of humour! because whether we talk about it or not. Some of these things are really hard. This last year particularly for me with heart failure and now a cataract all of which has been quite a shock and unexpected. So for that person sitting at home experiencing difficulties, you are not alone. Does any of these things stop me living? absolutely not :D I work full time still, have a business and am a published Author. Wishing you an amazing day! xx Melinda57Views3likes2CommentsRe: Survivorship: The Part We Don’t Talk About — But Should
Hi Afraser it's been a long time, good to see you here and to be reminded of your story. My post is about honesty and awareness, absolutely not about putting anyone off treatment. I just feel that this isn't talked about in any capacity. I agree too I am 10 years older, however my heart failure diagnosis last year is not of natural progression at 57 according to my specialists and at 58 a cataract isn't natural. My specialist also said that this particular one is drug induced. This post is for all of the people that are experiencing things that nobody talks about after treatment for no other reason but to be seen and heard. I would never have known I would have had these things down the track. It's knowing youre not alone that it is a whole other life beyond treatment. It's about honesty and just maybe more disclosure, so that people know theyre not going mad, that these things are real. Melinda56Views6likes0CommentsSurvivorship: The Part We Don’t Talk About — But Should
I’m 11 years post my second breast cancer diagnosis, and I’m grateful every single day to still be here. I work five days a week, I show up, I contribute, and I keep moving forward. I’m proud of that. But I’ve also learned that survivorship is far more complex than anyone prepared me for. After Taxol, 5‑FU, and a DIEP flap, I now live with: permanent hair thinning, weight gain, early menopause, neuropathy, hand‑function issues, all‑over body cramping, heart failure, cataract, blocked tear ducts, damaged veins, and numbness from nerve damage. I’ve adapted. I’ve rebuilt not just physically but mentally/emotionally. I’ve learned to live in a body that’s different from the one I had before. But here’s the truth: we don’t talk about this part. Not with friends. Not with colleagues. Often not even with each other. We carry the long‑term effects quietly. We push through because that’s what survivors do. We’re grateful — deeply — but gratitude doesn’t erase the challenges. I’m sharing this to encourage honest conversations. Because survivorship is real work. Because so many of us are navigating long‑term effects in silence. Because speaking up helps others feel less alone. If any of this resonates with you, your experience is valid. We can be strong, grateful, and resilient — and still tell the truth about what survivorship really looks like.Re: 2nd operation DCIS
paulina_gtzr Hello again, I just found this thread. I am way at the other end thankfully. I never thought possible to be 14 years down that road :) I too started out with DCIS, had a lumpectomy CLEAR margins, radiotherapy and tamoxifen. 4 years later the unthinkable, it came back! in the same spot! even with clear margins, radiation and tamoxifen. They still cannot explain how it happened, bad luck I suppose? So very blindsighted I had Stage 2 Grade 3 aggressive. I underwent another lumpectomy, chemo, I had Arimidex and then Aromasin. About 13 months after finishing chemo I was recommended to have a mastectomy even after all of this...which leads to the post that you commented on. It's been a super hard road, but I never ever thought I could be this degree of normal again, yet here I am :) I ended up osteoporotic and was on Prolia injections for 10 years. I am now off them and off all medication as of last year :) every day is a blessing. Trust yourself and do what you need to do. I'm sending great vibes for a return to good health. :) xMelinda98Views3likes0CommentsRe: All Clear happy and healthy, BUT pre admission tomorrow for Mastectomy/Recon struggling mentally..
paulina_gtzr all the very best for your operation. Gee 9 years ago feels like a lifetime ago :) Interesting as today I stopped at the supermarket on the way home and there were 2 people fundraising for BC. I get the fundraising but seriously these people do not know what anybody's story is. It brought up alot of things for me. I actually ignored them and walked by. I then see this message come through. It's interesting, there will always be layers to all of this that resurface and we slowly heal those parts of us in survivorship that nobody truly knows about. I am so happy honestly, reading my original message here I remember those feelings so very vividly. 9 years on, I think now, I wish I'd done a double mastectomy, but it was too traumatic. I never thought I'd feel normal again in any capacity and yet the world keeps spinning. In so many ways I couldn't be further from these days, and that is a miracle and such a blessing. So I send the biggest of hugs to you and want to tell you, you are going to be OK, that you are braver than you think. I also learned that doing it didnt change who I am in any way, it was just a part of me and something I had to do. No regrets :) Please take care and look after you, time to put YOU first above everyone and everything, it is super key. Hugs Melinda. x14Views0likes0CommentsRe: Scar Management for anyone finding them taking a long time to heal, red, bumpy, itchy...
@sunrise_sunset that's so great to hear, I admit I too was a little vain about the breast ones. It took me 13 years to get my final leave lol, and of course we don't know whats ahead. So we keep going and live each day as a blessing. I actually struggled with the decision of mastectomy, especially as mine was a few months after chemo and precautionary as Id had a recurrence in the same spot regardless of radiation and meds for 4 years :( They didn't do a right side reduction for me and yet I asked them to, whilst the surgeon did a great job, theyre too big and just not the same anymore. I'd love to be a full C not an E. Anyway, as time goes on things change and so does our perspective. I'm sure your scars will settle beautifully. All the best x51Views0likes0Comments
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Let's talk: vaginas, menopause & me
PRIVATE GROUP. This group is a safe, supportive space to talk about sexual health and emotional wellbeing during and after breast cancer. We discuss topics like menopause, vaginal dryness, pain during sex, UTIs, and changes in libido, and share ideas and products that may help. Whether you're navigating intimacy with a partner or reconnecting with yourself, you're not alone here. This is a place for open, respectful conversations and shared understanding.Choosing breast reconstruction
PRIVATE GROUP. Choosing breast reconstruction after single or double mastectomy can feel overwhelming, and deeply personal. This group is here to connect you through others' stories and images. Please respect everyone’s privacy—do not copy or share content outside this space. Information is based on personal experience and is not medical advice; always consult your healthcare team for guidance. ⚠️CONTENT WARNING⚠️ Members may share photos of breast surgeries. These images or discussions may be distressing or triggering for some. If you need support, please contact the BCNA Helpline - we are here for you.
