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Family Drama
I just want to say I have had an absolutely shit day because of my family. Not the one I live with, but the one I was born into. I won't bore you with the details, but I've been incredibly upset, and my stress levels, already high, are now through the roof. What do other people do when they have family dramas…
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My brain finally gave me a break for Easter
Hi all, So I am 17 months on from Dday and 8 months on from chemo and rads. Breast cancer thoughts swim around my head daily, sometimes constantly, sometimes only a few times a day. But it's always there, lurking in the background, interrupting my life and disrupting my thoughts at the most inopportune moments. It gets…
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The Ripple Effect
My diagnosis, from a routine mammogram rather than finding a lump, has caused several of my friends in their 40s & 50s to have a mammogram themselves . Has this happened to anyone else? My best friend, the one to whom I tell all the things, and my partner in my India endeavours, got a call back 10 days ago. 10 days of…
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Confronting flashbacks
I've just arrived to see my counsellor. Where I normally see her is really busy so I've been sent two doors up to the Breast Screen clinic where I had my mammograms, ultrasound and biopsy. And of all the rooms she could be in, she's in the very room where I got my diagnosis. I haven't been here since that day. I'm having…
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One of 'those' days
It's a cry'n' in the shower, how the F did I get here and 'how do I move forward with my life' kinda day. Emotional, achey, everthing's such an effort. Wondering if it's all worth it. Sigh, tomorrow's another day.
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Going Smaller
Due to surgical butchery in 1976 and again ten years later, the right side of my abdomen is now compromised when I find myself needing a breast reconstruction (DIEP). My plastic surgeon says it can be done but I will have to go small. Before kids I was a D cup, now I am an E. The surgeon says he can do a small B. I am…
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Stress ten fold
Hi all I was diagnosed two weeks ago with infiltrating ductal carcinoma. The tumour was apparently 1.3cm . It was removed,surgery went well. Got my results two days ago and the tumour removed was 3.1 cm and it was in the sentiniel lymph node , l have to have chemo and radiation . The tumour was hormone positive only and…
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Stranger reactions and losing one's temper!
Had a new thing happen today. I woman I'd met only once before two weeks ago, and only to say hello, asked me how I was going (Chemo 3, death warmed up). I answered 'not awesome' and she said, grinning from ear to ear, 'been there' and without pausing asked me if I had any lymph node involvement. Something just snapped…
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Where is that positive switch?
Stage 2a BC no node involvement, clear margins. HER- negative but hormone positive. Had a lumpectomy, 4 rounds of Chemo on Tamoxifen and decided to have a bi lateral mastectomy booked for 27th Oct so no rads needed. 44 years old and 3 little girls. So really that sounds all pretty good news so why the heck can I not find…