Going Smaller

kmakm

Due to surgical butchery in 1976 and again ten years later, the right side of my abdomen is now compromised when I find myself needing a breast reconstruction (DIEP).

My plastic surgeon says it can be done but I will have to go small. Before kids I was a D cup, now I am an E. The surgeon says he can do a small B.

I am struggling with the concept. I would love to have gone back to a D, and a C would have been manageable in my head, at this stage anyway. But a B?

My self-esteem and self-image does not rest in my boobs, but you all know what a mind f*** this breast cancer is.

Has anyone gone significantly smaller? How did you find it? Have you reached a state of acceptance?

(I've also posted this in the Breast Reconstruction group but was advised to post here as well to cast a wider net.)

SoldierCrab

hi kmakm, 
I wonder if you might get more answers to this in the Breast Reconstruction group.... http//onlinenetwork.bcna.org.au/group/1-choosing-breast-reconstruction

I went from a 20DD to flat had bilateral mastectomy no recon I am happy, it was what was right for me. 
Soldiercrab

kmakm

Doing both to cast a wider net @SoldierCrab. Thank you though!

I love that we're all so different. For me it's important to have some lady lumps, so down that road I'm chugging. Sanity not vanity.

Zoffiel

 I went from an E to a B. I'm not happy with the look of my retreads--things did not go well in the titty rebuilding department--but I've got to say, it's nice to be able to do my shirt up. I've gone from melon managing orthopedic looking bras to only wearing apple enhancing versions when it suits me, purely for effect. 
Clothes fit much better-- I was a bit of an Amazon and the huge norks meant I had to buy size 18 shirts then run the waist in to a 14 or walk around in a tent when my figure wasn't that bad. All up, life is easier with smaller boobs.

kmakm

@zoffiel Clothes fitting better is an outcome that had vaguely occurred to me. Glad to hear it's true! One of my larger breasted friends instantly pointed out that I'd be able to buy pretty bras really easily.

I am nervous about the look of the retreads as you say. Can I ask why you're not happy with them (please don't answer if you'd rather not). Were they not what you expected? Was the skill of the plastic surgeon not up to scratch? Or were there problems in the surgery or post-surgery that couldn't be helped? And being not happy with them, are you at peace with that, or still struggling?

Zoffiel

 I had implant reconstruction in 2006 when I had BC version 1. Unfortunately I had every complication it was possible to get-- seroma, bleeding, infection, encapsulation, I shot one of the expanders into my armpit and the other migrated up my chest. Ive had excessive chording and scarring and the most recent surgery for BC version 2 has left  me with nerve damage. Its all a bit of a disaster.

 Now, keep in mind this all started in 2006 and reconstruction options have changed a great deal since then. I keloid scar so, in hind sight, things were always likely to get messy. I've had the implants replaced twice and repositioned on two other occassions. My body does not like the intruders and I'm now stuck with rock hard twisted looking tits. Getting the implants removed is the next option but the concern is what will happen in the cavity when they are gone, given the amount of scar tissue I've developed. My case is on the pointy end of bad results and is not a common outcome. I've just got to live with it and what has happened to me is very unusual. All surgery carries a degree of risk.

Cosmetically these puppies are shite, but they look fine under clothing. Thankfully my partner is more interested in what's going on between my ears than what has happened under my shirt so the way they look isn't the end of the world. Mxx

kmakm

Gosh you've been through a lot (and I'm sorry you have). It sounds like you've reached a place of some acceptance though. Thank you for telling me. K