Stress ten fold

Ashanty88

Hi all

I was diagnosed two weeks ago with infiltrating ductal carcinoma. The tumour was  apparently 1.3cm . It was removed,surgery went well. Got my results two days ago and the tumour removed was 3.1 cm and it was in the sentiniel lymph node , l have to have chemo and radiation . The tumour was hormone positive only and the stress is i am pregnant , having termination today. I have 3 chn , youngest is 14 months . I do not want the baby . i am not in the right frame of mind and my decision is final . i just need some encouragement people, . I am 39 years old DR said i also have pre cancer cells and may have to go on hormoe tablets as well. 

Sister

Hi Chipo.  Welcome to this site.  I was diagnosed 7 weeks ago and had a similar scenario with the tumour being much bigger than originally anticipated, no clear margins and node involvement.  I also have to have chemo and probably rads.  However, I didn't have the added heartache of pregnancy.  I don't know what all the factors are behind your decision to terminate and whether you would have chosen a termination anyway.  The decision may effectively be out of your hands but I do hope that you are not rushing in to it too quickly and that it is something you have discussed with your doctor and whoever else is in your support network (I will stress that I am not anti-abortion).  If you are going ahead with it, please make sure that you can access counselling services.  It doesn't matter what the reason and how certain you are, a termination is not an easy decision - with breast cancer on top of that and 3 young children you should make sure you know where to find help.  Again, I want to stress that I am not being judgemental at all - you have to make the best decision for you and your 3 kids.  Please keep us updated as to how you are going.

SoldierCrab

Oh @Chipo
what a choice you have to make.... have made.... 

Do you know about the helpline ..... You can call them 
Don't hesitate to call the helpline on 1800 500 258 and speak with one of the cancer nurses or breast care nurse.
It can be really helpful to talk about what is going on for you.  

I am sure it has been a shock ... 
I am sorry you have been put into this situation. 
There is a young women group that could have others who have gone thru this choice. http://onlinenetwork.bcna.org.au/group/10-young-women

Zoffiel

Ah, @chipo what a mess! I so feel for you. You need to do what you need to do, no-one else walks in your shoes or lives your life.

There are a number of ladies here juggling young children and cancer treatment and I am totally in awe of them. The whole thing is terribly daunting, but the chemo is the worst bit and that has a start and finish point. You know when it is going to end and you can keep watching that date knowing that it signifies you are coming out of the tunnel.

One step at a time @chipo That's the way we all get through this. Good luck today. Marg xxx

Ashanty88

Thank you all ladies . I have taken the decision. i will have counselling afterwards , i am very scared and feeling heartache with everything that is going on . I feel lost at times . My husband is supportive of the decision as well.  I wish my mother was alive . its such a daunting feeling but i know there is a light at the end of the tunnel . Sometimes l block out the entire situation and all of a sudden l am overwhelmed . mixed emotions are my daily deal . 

I have not been given an appointment for the treatment yet , that is another stressor   but on the positive the wound on the breast is healing very well. 

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Ashanty88

l cannot go through another pregnancy . The last one was horrible , i had so much stress and a not so supportive husband at the beginning still have the same husband by the way. i nearly thought of ending it all . I felt alone and just resented the whole pregnancy but l do love my daughter.i have been to hell and back . i have just had enough  i feel like i have hit a brick wall. l do not want to bring a child in the world who will then live as an orphan. from my cultural perspective i dont think my chn will be looked after well when l am gone . i love them to pieces and want to be there for them . being pregnant again will send me over the edge. by the way i was breastfeeding and also on microlut when i fell pregnant i am roughly 2 months i think.

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Ashanty88

Im in sydney 

Sister

Chipo, There's no right or wrong in this - just what you can manage, and it's so much harder without our mums.  You've got so much to cope with at the moment. Try to be kind to yourself - you will get through this one step at a time (the mantra we all seem to live with). Please don't try to manage alone.  I hope today goes as well as possible for you.

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Rachwllms

Sending you big hugs Chipo. xxxx

Tracey_BCNA

@Chipo
We feel for you and the difficult situation you are in, you
certainly have a lot to deal with at the moment which sounds very overwhelming.  Please make sure your treating team are aware
of everything that is going on for you so they can provide the best support,
advice and treatment.  Your health is
important and when you have all the information you need you are in the best
position to make decisions regarding what is right for you.  We can understand that today will be a
difficult day for you, I will give you a call to see how you are going.  Thinking of you.

Take care

Tracey

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SoldierCrab

Chipo  it must be very hard emotionally when you feel that your chn wouldn't be well looked after if you pass away.  I was diagnosed over 5 years ago now and I want to let you know I am now cancer free (NED) no evidence of disease. 


Do you have a breast care nurse ? if not you can find one at the below link 

Breast Care Nurses

https://www.mcgrathfoundation.com.au/OurMission/OurNurses/FindANurse.aspx 

My Journey Kits and other
resources.  here you will be able to order some things to help you 

https://www.bcna.org.au/resources/

Hugs 

Soldiercrab

onemargie

Hi there @Chipo sounds like you are very fragile at the moment. It’s totally normal for you to feel the way you are. You have to do what’s best for you. I have heard of women having chemo when they are pregnant and they have got through it but it sounds like you’ve had issues with the previous pregnancy plus having chemo might just be too much for you so I get it. There will be no judgement on here from us. There are lots of lovelies on here with young families going through bc who will give you plenty of advice and support.  I hope your husband steps up and takes good care of you too. Once you have a plan of attack it will seem less daunting as you will know exactly what you are dealing with. Please seek the help you need I know you must miss your mum more than ever now too. I’ve lost both my parents so I know what that feels like. . It’s tough but we will be here for you and I hope you have other family and friends to support you as well.  Biggest hug  Margie xx