Waiting, waiting, waiting + frustration
I’m sorry, I’m really making the most of the solidarity here. It’s been almost 3 weeks since my diagnosis (43yr old, Grade 2, ER+ PR+ HER- mixed lobular/ductal) & I’m usually a super patient person, but I’m feeling quite down. I go for my PET scan & MRI tomorrow morning, early. I’m then seeing the surgeon again next week for hopefully a bit of a plan for treatment. I’m sick of not being able to plan or commit to anything. I’ve kept working as much as I can, but I’m getting sick of being told about friends of friends who have died of BC, or at the other end that ‘it’s so treatable & nothing much to worry about’. This morning I had my first real big cry, which made my 10yo daughter cry too, which made me feel worse. I cried because she has a grotty cough & so we had to take her with us for the 4 hr trip to our nearest imaging place & not send her to school or expose our neighbours to her germs. I cried because my oldest daughter had to stay behind. I cried because my oldest daughter turns 13 very soon & wants to be excited & plan her birthday, then she flips & apologises & says ‘don’t worry about getting me anything Mum’. I really know now how it feels to feel like a burden. I told my husband I should have just gone alone this trip, but he insisted on coming to keep me company, which I do appreciate. I’m so lucky really to be surrounded by so much love & well-intentioned support, but I think reality is really starting to sink in. I’m already sick of doing the 8hr round trip for the nearest cancer care, yet this is only the start. How do I decide what surgery is best? I don’t care much about my appearance, & I think a mastectomy & going flat makes the most sense, causes the least disruption to my family, but I feel quite sad still about losing my breast. Ugh. Anyway, no need to reply, just needed to get this off my chest.
Newly Diagnosed with TNBC
Hi everyone my name is Nique. I am 54yrs old and I was recently diagnosed with TNBC in December 2023 and I have had my first chemo and Immunotherapy on Friday Jan 12th. It is taking me a long time to process this information and sometimes I think it is surreal. My family has been really supportive throughout all of this especially my husband and one of my sister who herself went through her own journey with Breast Cancer (She had the Hormone positive). It is hard at the moment to say if the side effects are bad or not as I recently had COVID. Apart from the body ache (Which could be from COVID), everything taste metallic in my mouth and I do feel tired. I made the decision to cut my hair really short and then my husband will shave it off once it starts falling. For me cutting off my hair was a reality that this is real but it is still hard to digest at times. I am still working full time as I work remotely for an interstate company, but I Know that eventually I will need to decide whether to stay fulltime or part-time. My Chemo is every Thursday from my next session and I was lucky to have my sister there with me during my first one, unfortunately she is here on holidays and will be returning back to Dubai. I honestly don't know what I would have doe if she wasn't with me. She was there in the doctors office when I got the news and as I was in shock she took over and asked all the questions. Her and my husband have been with me to all my appointments, apart from being my support person she was also my husband's support person and for my kids. I honestly don't know how I am going to go through Chemo without her being there. Thank you for listening to me.Support and Family
Hi all, I have already posted my recent diagnosis story. Still going through the very early stages and I see my breast surgeon for the first time tomorrow. Today has been a bit tough. My son (15) was already suffering from anxiety prior to this diagnosis (although through meds and psychologist he was starting to get better), but it has really sent him in a spiral. He didn't want to attend school today and that was a real battle to get him there. I feel guilty that he is going through this and the problem is that things for me will certainly get worse before they get better (not to be negative, but I don't think the treatment will be a walk in the park) and this will all impact him. He says that when he is at school he cannot focus and I feel so bad for him. He is in Yr 10, but doing accelerated maths (so has started the year 12 component there). With all the anxiety he has had recently his work had already started to go downhill and now with this it is really suffering. My sister is incredibly supportive and positive, but I feel that I am ringing her constantly with my issues and didn't want to share this with her. I know that they want to be there for you, but I don't want to impact other's mental health. This doesn't only affect us, it also affects everyone around us. Does everyone feel like this when first diagnosed? I am sure it gets easier to navigate down the track. Yesterday my son asked if I was dying. It is difficult to answer this, since I don't know whether it has spread or not myself. Obviously, I do not say this to him, but how do others talk to their kids about this?
New mum struggles just got more challenging
Hi everyone! It’s lovely to meet you all despite this being the location. I was officially diagnosed on Tuesday but I’ve suspected it was breast cancer for over a week since the mood at my biopsy seemed urgent (and extremely sympathetic). I’m 34 years old and first time mum to an awesome little 11 month old boy. I’ve been struggling being the default parent because of the surprisingly small amount of help my partner offers. I thought we’d be more of a team but I let him get away with doing the bare minimum early on and now it’s slipped into a pattern that isn’t sustainable. I struggle with resenting him and it’s definitely affecting our relationship. I feel especially snappy and reactive now. This diagnosis is extra troubling as I have almost lost all faith in him stepping up more. How did others navigate their parenthood and relationship/marriage challenges while dealing with their cancer journey?
Introduction...
hi there, Thought I'd say hi and introduce myself. I am 30 years old and have a 7 year old daughter. I was diagnosed on 27/11/2015. It all still feels very surreal and overwhelming. Doctors think I have Inflamatory Breast Cancer so are treating me for this diagnosis. My treatment plan is 6 rounds of chemo, surgery and then radiation. I meet with the oncologist in the next few days to learn more. I'm still trying to get my head around all the jargon, medical terms and medication names! I'm hoping I can find some support and answers to some of my questions here. Kylie
newly diagnosed - IDC
Hi Everyone, I am so glad to see such a supportive group of people. I have recently been diagnosed with invasive Ductal Carcinoma in my right breast 15MM in size, my left had a lump but it was noted as benign fibroadenoma. My GP says from the report that it has not reached my Lymph nodes so that's positive, but at the moment all I am doing is stressing and going through bouts of crying (which i know is all normal, but all I can think is how I tell my 2 girls (age 10+11) I have been booked in to see the hospital next Tuesday 8th Dec, so the wait is making it worse as all I can think is what if is has spread and the GP got it wrong. I would really like some advice as my GP as not gone into much detail and I think Dr Google is making it worse. my breasts are not that big to begin with so saying it is 15MM is probably big in my breasts, I am prepared to have a double mastectomy as don't want the likelihood of it coming back, but again is that my call or do i wait for the oncologist and specialist next week. thanks all for listening x
Any tips on removing fiximol post surgery 😖
Hi, I’m a 56 yr old mum of 2 boys and I was diagnosed with early stage breast cancer on the 18th June on a routine mammogram.i had a lumpectomy and sentinel node biopsy on the 13th July and see the surgeon this Thursday for my results and the next stage of my journey. I think because I lost my Mum suddenly on the 26th March ( In Ireland and I haven’t been able to go home to my dad and family because of covoid) , this pales in significance . I am glad my surgery is over and haven’t told my family at home in Ireland as they have enough to deal with especially my Dad. I am lucky to have a very supportive husband and friends. I do have one question - any hints on how to get the fiximol off ? Thanks for listening and sharing my journey.
Newly diagnosed
Hi all, my mum had breast cancer at 50 and passed away after 20 year battle. I was diagnosed last week, surgeon appointment tomorrow, surgery booked already. I also had my first grandson last week, same day was having all my mammograms, ultrasound etc. Do I tell her as she is interstate or wait until closer to surgery date. I have my sister & brother supporting me as I live alone.I’ll know more when meet surgeon tomorrow. Dad is in 80s still debating when to tell him. My brother cried. My sister has had cancer, chemo etc so I know we are survivors!Newly Diagnosed 18/2/2020
Hi Everyone, my name is Lois and my life got bit of a shock last week when the doctor said "It is Aggressive, Invasive Breast Cancer". The emotions went into hyper drive and I left his room and promptly threw up in his garden. Luckily, my husband was there for that much needed clean up and cuddle. My "Lump" had been there for over 5 months and as I have Lupus, merely thought it was a torn chest muscle that was taking forever to heal. Unfortunately it wasn't. Instead it is a Stage 1, Grade 3 estrogen receptor cancer (I think that is what they said!!) located in the upper quadrant of my left breast on my chest wall. The lump is nearly 30 mm... Yesterday, I met with the Specialist for the first time and my Breast Care Nurse - both very calm, methodical, easy to approach and allowed me for the first time in nearly 3 weeks to let my breath out and come home with a positive outlook - even though I know the months ahead will shake, rattle and roll me to exhaustion and beyond. At the moment, the decision is to take out the lump and relevant lymph nodes then radiation therapy. The view to full removal of both breasts will be considered once I have done healing....especially as "we" are unsure how the Lupus will react as I have been in constant flare up with a myriad of symptoms for nearly a year now. The whole thing of rejection of breast tissue for reconstruction etc needs to be considered at length and with advisement of specialists. I am alternating between being scared and rationally calm. The hardest bit of this news, was having to tell my children and watch the sheer horror cross their faces. That took my breath away. So...that is me. Trying to find a sense of positivity amongst the fear and monumental freak out sessions since I was told the news.
