Feeling angry
I have recently been diagnosed and had a lumpectomy last Thursday. I’m feel fine not overly sore but tired. Mine was picked up on a mammograms so early and I’m very grateful and know how lucky I am. I’m ok with diagnosis 1 in 7 my turn. The issue is I’ve been through so much recently and I’m finding myself angry. Well the last 2 days. 2 knee replacements, fibromyalgia, depression, late adhd diagnosis at 62, mum with dementia I’ve had to put into care, I sold her house without her knowing which is heart breaking - no help from siblings and that just this year. Lol. I had a breakdown a few years ago through work, got divorced, my dog died and I burnt my nachos the other day. A bit of light relief. There is more but that will do. I’m exhausted keeping a lid on everything. I’ve spoken to my psychologist who suggested Emdr. I’m by myself and just so angry. My kids have their own lives and basically my safe place is my home (with a massive mortgage) and my dogs. I had started a wonderful new business but have had to put that on hold until I find out what happens next. Which is next Monday. This is not a why me post it’s a is it normal to be angry. Not all the time but it’s scathing and my dogs have heard some words that I have never mentioned before. I’m not really good at asking for help. And was disappointed with the support I received with my knee replacements so reluctant to go through that rejection again. I think maybe it’s the lack of control, not knowing where we go from here. Again I know how lucky I am and whatever treatment (looks like radiation and hormone therapy and possibly another op and chemo if it’s travelled) I will gladly do and be thankful. I guess I’m just bewildered and have no idea what’s normal and whats not. And if I’ve honest I’m teary too. Ok I feel lonely and unsupported as well.
Newly Diagnosed
Hi My name is Victoria, I'm 42 years old and I have been newly (well, 5.5 weeks ago) diagnosed with breast cancer. It is is located underneath the nipple on my left breast and it is invasive ductal carcinoma, ER+, PR- HER2-, Stage Two. (Sorry if I don't have all the details but that is what I have interpreted it as). The tumor is 2.5 cm. I have seen my surgeon twice and I will be having a single mastectomy next week some time followed by 6 months of chemotherapy. We had discussed a lumpectomy so he could try and save the nipple but I opted for the mastectomy, just for a clean break. I'm dealing with it okay- I'm a bit concerned I haven't cried yet- and everyone else around me is very supportive and very shocked. I just wanted to introduce myself and hopefully be able to contribute something to these groups. Thank you Victoria
New diagnosis, mum guilt and surgery
Hi All! It’s been a big month… recent diagnosis of invasive ductile carinomas x 2 in left breast, E+ PR+HER2LOW+1. Grabbed my breast after shooting pain on night before my 39th birthday, GP few days later, week after that had mammogram/ultrasound/biopsies x 3. Scheduled for bilateral mastectomy with DIEP flap reconstruction in a few weeks at the Wesley in Brisbane. Have been feeling quite positive, but now surgery date locked in I’m having a lot more anxiety!! Have 2 kids (5 & 7) that I’m worried about being away from, and have a busy job as a lawyer that I’m keeping going whilst waiting for surgery. I’m finding it a lot to plan for all I want to organise before surgery, so any tips/suggestions/ support would be amazing - I like to be super organised so particularly keen for any recommendations re what to pack etc!!
Write off 6 to 12 months?
I was given a diagnosis today of small tumor, early invasive breast cancer, double hormone positive and I have an appointment with surgeon in 1 week. At just-turned-60, the next 9 months were supposed to include 2 sons' graduations, 1 son's wedding (a family first), our 25th wedding celebration, a road trip to find-purchase-or-build a new home in a tree-change location in another state, and downsizing-packing-relocating. Surgeon and nurse at breast clinic today seemed to think "we can work around things" ...is that realistic? What is the most valuable question to ask the surgeon, next week, re time frames and realistic expectations? Thanks.Chest Cancer Breast Cancer
Hello readers (all members, carers, staff, the public), Having read various requests, pleas, posts that communicate the need to INCLUDE males, in fact all people of any gender and age, and still see vastly inadequate awareness and action, please understand why this call for action might reflect how urgent, emphatic and furious it can become. How many requests, how many years, how many lives suffering shame/embarrassment/stigma/isolation, how many deaths, how much ignorance, even among today's GPs, how little support, how many undiagnosed cancer cases??? For anyone who cannot feel empathy, like it-does-not-affect-me or they-are-JUST-minority, then think… if it is your: son, brother, father, partner, husband, grandfather, grandmother, child, other loved ones, or someone you respect. Actions please, especially by BCNA, and other organisations, in the position of power to do something about it -right now. Strongly recommend: Marketing Team, able and influential. BCNA pages’ banners are the worst misinformation propagator of ‘women-only, pink pink bathing-big-busts-the-goal-in-life; no children, no males, no matter cancer undiagnosed untreated they are nobody. Requests of years ago still ignored. Please right now stop plastering pink pink bright pink all over, highlighting bulging breasts in pink bathing suits as if for a women-only swim club, exclusively pink bright pink skirts, and just women maniacally laughing. Over-the-top incongruous. Please don’t switch to extreme stereotypes either, like typically the most wrinkly hand being held by an age-contrast hand, in copy-cat robots’ stock-photos marketing. While you’re adjusting, please very ably and kindly reduce all the auto flipping/sliding panels, hyperactive donate-button, and fast drop-drown whenever we just hover or just breathe; it’s turning us into a nervous twitchy moving-image-nauseous wreck. Some have x months to live, can marketing spend 3 hours to make a beta, 3 days to go live, for them to see in time? Merchandise. Please adjust the pink pink pink ribbons. How about a more INFORMATIVE, educating, creative, inclusive pink+green+brown for example, avoiding gender-again gender blue. Something neutral and universal? A flower+leaf+stem, sun moon star, or a simple band? A sticky post please, kind can-do staff, to educate and change habit. Something like “Genderless breast cancer affects all”, in green? Avoid gender-colour. Members posting please use neutral communication instead of all these ‘lovely ladies’. We are supposed to know better, and the public can read these posts to learn from us. No, it is not enough to have ONE day of the year for half the population -cancer affects everyone in the person’s life. No, it is not acceptable to shove males, children, and so-name-called CALD (we are all of us diverse multicultural so it’s not right for one group to name call the ‘others’ as diverse) to go talk among yourselves in that corner or in a locked group. As if get out of my sight. As if we don’t care. As if you’re not one of us. It is not fair to burden this task on the shoulders of the ‘not one of us’ to educate the mass. The task is on us. Please get updates of info to reach and make sure GPs and all other medical professionals are up-to-date and aware. Still a problem, in 2026. Please action, everyone. Kind members please do, if not already. Please search ‘male’, ‘men’, and topic ‘Inclusion’ 2019? on this site, to listen, to hear, to understand, to be kinder. Let’s mark today’s date 20-Mar-2026 awaiting action. We are counting, each day. More suffering. Any effective action. Please. With hope and thanks. [Edit: Tagging PeterB and traveltext to acknowledge and show appreciation.]Eye health changes
Hi all, wondering if anyone else has experienced deterioration or changes in eye health? I’ve recently been diagnosed with early macular degeneration and a slight worsening of pre-existing glaucoma (a condition in my family). But on a day to day basis I have noticed my eyes (over the last five months) have been consistently red, sore and very dry, even after sleep (Hylo Forte drops relieves them) and even when I take a break from Letrozole, the daily Aromatase Inhibitor medication I use. I wondered if weakening eye health is one of the longer term side effects of chemotherapy treatment. It’s about a year and a half since I completed the 17 month TCHP chemotherapy and immunosuppressants, surgery and radiation treatment for triple positive invasive lobular cancer (ILC). I’ve seen a couple of posts on this topic dating back to 2017 or 2018. I am conscious my mother developed macular but she was in her early 80s when it presented and it compounded her sight issues from glaucoma so she effectively couldn’t drive or see faces and images. Whereas I am about to turn 64 (happy days!) this weekend, I’m still in the active workforce and I hope to have more of a runway with my eyesight to enjoy the environment, the arts and the beauty of family and friends.
Guilt
Thanks to BCNA and the forum contributors (my new friends). I was diagnosed with IDC this week at 49 and have been 'battling' my emotions rather than sitting into them. That stops now. A couple of family and friends have tried to console me by dismissing my emotions. "Oh, you'll be fine. So-and-so had breast cancer and she's fine." "It's like appendicitis. You'll get it cut out and move on." "With all the advancements in treatment, it's not like it can kill you anymore." "You're not special. Everyone has some form of cancer these days." I was starting to feel guilty for being so emotional. I felt like I needed to get over myself and just deal with it quietly and confidently. I'm lucky I have a supportive husband... and you all!
Looking for IVF specialist who knows menopause/tamoxifen
Hello! First time poster here. I was diagnosed with triple positive BC in 2022. We welcome our first baby born via surrogacy in 2023 but have one more embryo that I’m going to transfer myself because I’ve had 2.5 years on tamoxifen and no sight of reoccurrence. My Oncologist said okay yesterday! I am hoping to find an IVF specialist in Australia- preferably Bris that has dealt with my situation before - medical menopause and 2.5 years tamoxifen. Has anyone heard of a doctor like this? I’m happy to do Telehealth. My current doctor is Tiana Ernst at City Fertility Brisbane (where our embryo is) who is lovely but want to be sure I research for our best chance. Thank you!Thank you to the carers of those with breast cancer 💖
‘If you’re not in a good place then it's really hard to look after someone else’ Stuart Diver’s message to those caring for someone with breast cancer is: Prioritise your mental and physical health Access resources like BCNA’s My Journey which offers personalised information What tips do you have for caring for someone with breast cancer? Let us know in the comments. If you aren’t sure how to support someone in your life with breast cancer or you need help navigating your role as a carer, you can call our free and confidential Helpline for information and support on 1800 500 258 between Monday- Friday 9am – 5pm.
