Scared and lonely

Question

Hi everyone,&nbsp;I was diagnosed about 2 weeks ago. I have cancer in both my left breast and the main lymph node under the armpit.&nbsp;It has been a hell of a last 9 months. While on a holiday in Thailand with my husband for my 60th birthday, he told me that the spark had gone. One month later he said he wanted a divorce. Five months later I was diagnosed.&nbsp;It has been three weeks since the tumors were found and still waiting for scans. Hopefully tomorrow at my first oncology appointment.I am living in the family home with my husband (who I love still) in the bedroom downstairs and one of my daughters.This whole situation is so hard to accept. A regular ultrasound showed a cancer that had progressed beyond the breast. It makes me wonder why they aren’t yearly.&nbsp;

sarahb77 · Answer

Oh I am so sorry to hear this. arpie​ has given you some amazing advice below, but I just wanted to say that you are in my thoughts.&nbsp;

arpie · Answer

Hi&nbsp;Clementine​&nbsp; ....&nbsp; I am so sorry to see you joining us here - you've had a distressing time of it already - and the BC diagnosis would be adding to this&nbsp; &nbsp;:(&nbsp;You'll be going thru a range of emotions right now &amp; it is totally normal to be upset, angry (or both) .... and a range of emotions in between.Have you seen a surgeon yet, for a timeline on your surgery?&nbsp; Usually you'll see the surgeon before seeing an Oncologist.&nbsp; Once the surgery is done &amp; pathology received and you see the Onc, you'll have a much better idea of your treatment plan.&nbsp;
Try not get ahead of yourself, by 2nd guessing things&nbsp; .... just go with what your team advises you xx. It is difficult tho, I know.
Do you have a trusted friend who can accompany you to your consultations?&nbsp; Having a 2nd set of ears (and a shoulder to lean on) really helps.&nbsp; I'd also suggest that you record your appointments on your phone too - as it is difficult to remember EVERYTHING that is mentioned - this way, you can go over it again later, if needed.&nbsp;
Please stay away from Dr Google ... and Consider ringing our Helpline tomorrow to have a chat 1800 500 258 .... (available Mon-Fri 9am-5pm)&nbsp;
Also, Consider checking out Charlotte Tottman's podcasts on her own BC cancer story - she is a specialist cancer psychologist who was diagnosed herself with BC and had a double mastectomy, choosing to remain flat.&nbsp; &nbsp;She 'thought' she knew what most of the 'procedure' would be - so was really surprised when she had similar reactions to her own clients ... and she talks about it, what she expected vs what happened.&nbsp; She is very easy to listen to - You can just listen to individual sessions, or just start at the 1st one &amp; work your way thru.&nbsp; xx&nbsp; &nbsp; What You Don't Know Until You Do ....http://www.drcharlottetottman.com.au/my-podcast.htmlFeel free to check out this thread for LOTS of info on the forum - and suggestions on what to take with you to hospital. There are also some 'tick sheets' you can print off, to keep track of your mental and physical health.&nbsp;A big welcome to all New Online Network Members ..... | BCNA Online Network
Try &amp; keep busy during the 'waiting periods' between consultations &amp; surgery etc .... as it keeps the mind busy &amp; not going off on tangents.&nbsp; And remember - NO DR GOOGLE!&nbsp; &nbsp;Take care &amp; all the best for your upcoming appointments.

tri · Answer

HelloClementine​ that is a very tough 9 months indeed and my heart goes out to you. These are early days and it is not easy living with the uncertainty whilst diagnostics and a treatment regime are being sorted. Sending you many positive vibes and hugs.&nbsp;