Feeling angry
I have recently been diagnosed and had a lumpectomy last Thursday. I’m feel fine not overly sore but tired. Mine was picked up on a mammograms so early and I’m very grateful and know how lucky I am. I’m ok with diagnosis 1 in 7 my turn. The issue is I’ve been through so much recently and I’m finding myself angry. Well the last 2 days. 2 knee replacements, fibromyalgia, depression, late adhd diagnosis at 62, mum with dementia I’ve had to put into care, I sold her house without her knowing which is heart breaking - no help from siblings and that just this year. Lol. I had a breakdown a few years ago through work, got divorced, my dog died and I burnt my nachos the other day. A bit of light relief. There is more but that will do. I’m exhausted keeping a lid on everything. I’ve spoken to my psychologist who suggested Emdr. I’m by myself and just so angry. My kids have their own lives and basically my safe place is my home (with a massive mortgage) and my dogs. I had started a wonderful new business but have had to put that on hold until I find out what happens next. Which is next Monday. This is not a why me post it’s a is it normal to be angry. Not all the time but it’s scathing and my dogs have heard some words that I have never mentioned before. I’m not really good at asking for help. And was disappointed with the support I received with my knee replacements so reluctant to go through that rejection again. I think maybe it’s the lack of control, not knowing where we go from here. Again I know how lucky I am and whatever treatment (looks like radiation and hormone therapy and possibly another op and chemo if it’s travelled) I will gladly do and be thankful. I guess I’m just bewildered and have no idea what’s normal and whats not. And if I’ve honest I’m teary too. Ok I feel lonely and unsupported as well.
Newly Diagnosed
Hi My name is Victoria, I'm 42 years old and I have been newly (well, 5.5 weeks ago) diagnosed with breast cancer. It is is located underneath the nipple on my left breast and it is invasive ductal carcinoma, ER+, PR- HER2-, Stage Two. (Sorry if I don't have all the details but that is what I have interpreted it as). The tumor is 2.5 cm. I have seen my surgeon twice and I will be having a single mastectomy next week some time followed by 6 months of chemotherapy. We had discussed a lumpectomy so he could try and save the nipple but I opted for the mastectomy, just for a clean break. I'm dealing with it okay- I'm a bit concerned I haven't cried yet- and everyone else around me is very supportive and very shocked. I just wanted to introduce myself and hopefully be able to contribute something to these groups. Thank you Victoria
Write off 6 to 12 months?
I was given a diagnosis today of small tumor, early invasive breast cancer, double hormone positive and I have an appointment with surgeon in 1 week. At just-turned-60, the next 9 months were supposed to include 2 sons' graduations, 1 son's wedding (a family first), our 25th wedding celebration, a road trip to find-purchase-or-build a new home in a tree-change location in another state, and downsizing-packing-relocating. Surgeon and nurse at breast clinic today seemed to think "we can work around things" ...is that realistic? What is the most valuable question to ask the surgeon, next week, re time frames and realistic expectations? Thanks.
Guilt
Thanks to BCNA and the forum contributors (my new friends). I was diagnosed with IDC this week at 49 and have been 'battling' my emotions rather than sitting into them. That stops now. A couple of family and friends have tried to console me by dismissing my emotions. "Oh, you'll be fine. So-and-so had breast cancer and she's fine." "It's like appendicitis. You'll get it cut out and move on." "With all the advancements in treatment, it's not like it can kill you anymore." "You're not special. Everyone has some form of cancer these days." I was starting to feel guilty for being so emotional. I felt like I needed to get over myself and just deal with it quietly and confidently. I'm lucky I have a supportive husband... and you all!
Looking for IVF specialist who knows menopause/tamoxifen
Hello! First time poster here. I was diagnosed with triple positive BC in 2022. We welcome our first baby born via surrogacy in 2023 but have one more embryo that I’m going to transfer myself because I’ve had 2.5 years on tamoxifen and no sight of reoccurrence. My Oncologist said okay yesterday! I am hoping to find an IVF specialist in Australia- preferably Bris that has dealt with my situation before - medical menopause and 2.5 years tamoxifen. Has anyone heard of a doctor like this? I’m happy to do Telehealth. My current doctor is Tiana Ernst at City Fertility Brisbane (where our embryo is) who is lovely but want to be sure I research for our best chance. Thank you!Resources for my kids
Hi everyone 👋 I'm 34 years old and recently diagnosed. About to start chemotherapy and want to find some books or resources to help me talk to my young kids about it when I start. I think my 4 year old daughter is going to be particularly shaken by the hair loss and visible impacts of chemo. Any recommendations?
Scared and lonely
Hi everyone, I was diagnosed about 2 weeks ago. I have cancer in both my left breast and the main lymph node under the armpit. It has been a hell of a last 9 months. While on a holiday in Thailand with my husband for my 60th birthday, he told me that the spark had gone. One month later he said he wanted a divorce. Five months later I was diagnosed. It has been three weeks since the tumors were found and still waiting for scans. Hopefully tomorrow at my first oncology appointment. I am living in the family home with my husband (who I love still) in the bedroom downstairs and one of my daughters. This whole situation is so hard to accept. A regular ultrasound showed a cancer that had progressed beyond the breast. It makes me wonder why they aren’t yearly.
Do I stay or do I go?
Not your average post. Originally a backpacker from the UK, been in Aus 5 years and have moved onto a work sponsorship visa with my employer. I live in a very remote area and it is a 4 hour flight to my nearest 'treatment centre'. Two weeks ago it was confirmed (via biopsy) that in my left breast I have a 2mm invasive mass, and 10cm of non invasive DCIS. I had a contrast mamo and PET scan (no result yet) and scheduled for an MRI on the 6th June, and appointment with the surgeon to discuss options on the 10th June. My breast dr said the surgeon will recommend a mastectomy due to the large area of DCIS. Possibly chemo, radio and hormone therapy. They are also talking about what I want to do with my eggs. I am so scared, and I am not sleeping. I am only 34 years old without children. I don't know what to do, do I stay here in Australia and undergo the treatment recommended and stay near the hospital with the mother of a friend (who has also had breast cancer and has said she is more than happy to support me through required treatment). I love my life here that I have built over the past 5 years, and I love my job. I am scared I will lose my job with the next few months of treatment coming up (very little can be done remotely), my visa is tied to my job. I may get deported mid way through treatment? I dont know? I know I should speak to an immigration lawyer but I am already inundated with administration from cancer. My family back home are very supportive and will support whichever decision I make. They and I am also wary of the health care system back at home (which isn't in great shape). If I go home, I will take all my diagnosis letters and scans, but I will still have to start this process again from the start and basically be told twice I have cancer and they want to chop my breast off. I wont be able to get a job due to appointments and treatment, and wont be entitled to benefits as I haven't paid tax in my home country for 5 years. Its not just cancer anymore, I am not scared of the cancer as such as my whole life here being ripped away from under my feet. Sorry for the long post. I just don't know what to do for the best. Either way, I need to stay here until I have the full picture and know what the surgeon wants to do.