Forum Discussion

debraell's avatar
debraell
Member
22 days ago

Feeling angry

I have recently been diagnosed and had a lumpectomy last Thursday.  I’m feel fine not overly sore but tired.  Mine was picked up on a mammograms so early and I’m very grateful and know how lucky I am.  I’m ok with diagnosis 1 in 7 my turn.  The issue is I’ve been through so much recently and I’m finding myself angry.  Well the last 2 days.  2 knee replacements, fibromyalgia, depression, late adhd diagnosis at 62, mum with dementia I’ve had to put into care, I sold her house without her knowing which is heart breaking - no help from siblings and that just this year.  Lol.  I had a breakdown a few years ago through work, got divorced, my dog died and I burnt my nachos the other day.  A bit of light relief.  There is more but that will do.  I’m exhausted keeping a lid on everything.  I’ve spoken to my psychologist who suggested Emdr.  I’m by myself and just so angry.  My kids have their own lives and basically my safe place is my home (with a massive mortgage) and my dogs.  I had started a wonderful new business but have had to put that on hold until I find out what happens next.  Which is next Monday.  This is not a why me post it’s a is it normal to be angry.  Not all the time but it’s scathing and my dogs have heard some words that I have never mentioned before.  I’m not really good at asking for help.  And was disappointed with the support I received with my knee replacements so reluctant to go through that rejection again.  I think maybe it’s the lack of control, not knowing where we go from here.  Again I know how lucky I am and whatever treatment (looks like radiation and hormone therapy and possibly another op and chemo if it’s travelled) I will gladly do and be thankful.  I guess I’m just bewildered and have no idea what’s normal and whats not.  And if I’ve honest I’m teary too.  Ok I feel lonely and unsupported as well. 

anxiety
biopsy
emotions
family
lumpectomy
radiotherapy
support groups
surgery

3 Replies

  • arpie's avatar
    arpie
    Member
    22 days ago

    SO sorry to see you joining us here debraell​  xx.  The short answer to "Is it normal to be ANGRY"? ....  is YES!!   Everyone diagnosed with any sort of cancer goes thru a wide range of emotions & Anger is definitely up there, on the list!

    Feel free to ring the BCNA Helpline to have a confidential chat with 'the team' ..... 1800 500 258

    You may also like to listen to Charlotte Tottman's podcasts about being diagnosed with BC (with a lived experience of her own Breast Cancer diagnosis & surgery) here:

    https://soundcloud.com/bcna/what-you-dont-know-until-you-do-with-dr-charlotte-tottman-episode-1-d-day-diagnosis-shock

    They are very easy to listen to - and honest.

    take care - I hope things feel better for you soon - you've been thru so much in recent years xx

  • Bluebell-1's avatar
    Bluebell-1
    Member
    20 days ago

    I’m sorry to hear that you are feeling lonely and unsupported. I can relate to how difficult it is when a breast cancer diagnosis comes on top of a load of other stressors. Like you, I’m grateful that mine was found early and that my treatment plan has been straightforward (lumpectomy, radiation and endocrine therapy). Despite that, it was also on top of ever increasing caring responsibilities with no other support and was rapidly followed up by an unrelated injury that I am having to rehab around my treatments for cording and swelling. I swing between angry at the whole situation (though, of course, it’s no one’s fault, it just is what it is) and deep sadness. At times all I want is to be wrapped up and cared for by someone else.

    I don’t have any great insights for you. My way of coping is to just be with the feelings, knowing that they will pass. I keep accepting opportunities to meet up with others, digging deep to find my “sparkle” as much as I can. Although I am aware of the good stuff like healthy food and exercise, I am also accepting that I am frequently not in the best place for either at the moment (especially due to the injury) and that I can accommodate being less than perfect now and again (or for a while at least). 

    This community is a good place for support and ideas. I also think the “Breast Cancer Support Australia - For Women” community on Facebook is really helpful. 🌸

  • Moomincorn's avatar
    Moomincorn
    Member
    19 days ago

    debraell​ It sounds like you're dealing with a lot but it's good that you are able to understand the pressures and feelings and put them into words.

    I have had my angry moments and in particular I remember seeing my GP about a week after my lumpectomy and she recognised that I didn't seem myself. That allowed me to get a bit off my chest and she pointed out that I'd just been through a very rapid diagnosis and surgery and world turning upside down. I wasn't sleeping the best and the next steps weren't visible yet so I was treading water in the unknown.

    It's normal and okay to be angry as you go through treatment.

    My suggestion would be to share those feelings with your medical team whether that be the surgeon, breast care nurse or oncologists. Mine have been supportive with suggestions and practical solutions.