Feeling overwhelmed
Hi thereAll I am 59, happily married, have two adult children. One grandson and baby no 2 due anyday now... Had surgery last week for lumpectomy and Sentinel node biopsy. Everything went well Saw surgeron yesterday . Lymph nodes are clear. Margins good. My issues is I am SO overwhelmed. Smiling for family. Smiling for friends. Little background. I had **bleep** cancer 10 years ago, back in 2016. Chemo and radiation. It was brutal. The burns were horrible. The exhaustion was the worst. Everyone is saying.... your so lucky you caught it early. You've done this before... you'll be right. Support is encouraging and I am lucky to be surrounded by lots of love. I am to be a grandmother again in two weeks and have a lively gorgeous 2 year old grandson. Timing suck.... I am overwhelmed with sadness I am overwhelmed With discourage, feeling of resentment. Feeling very isolated. **bleep** THIS CANCER... so sorry for language but it express how I feel. I want to shout. Cry. Hit something and hide under the covers and not deal with this. I know that I should be grateful. I am sick and exhausting from smiling on the outside, but paddling like hell of the inside. Hiding my emotions. I still work. Love the job. I work for a Toy library as assistant. Its not a stresing job. Only 3 days a week. They have been wonderful. How has everyone else cope. I know what I am going through is normal. Can anyone suggest a good cancer support group. I live in Victoria on the Mornington peninsula. Love and support to everyone going on this same journey Let's kick ass . Cancer sucks. Xxxxxx
Write off 6 to 12 months?
I was given a diagnosis today of small tumor, early invasive breast cancer, double hormone positive and I have an appointment with surgeon in 1 week. At just-turned-60, the next 9 months were supposed to include 2 sons' graduations, 1 son's wedding (a family first), our 25th wedding celebration, a road trip to find-purchase-or-build a new home in a tree-change location in another state, and downsizing-packing-relocating. Surgeon and nurse at breast clinic today seemed to think "we can work around things" ...is that realistic? What is the most valuable question to ask the surgeon, next week, re time frames and realistic expectations? Thanks.
Working while waiting for surgery
Hi all, was diagnosed 3 weeks ago today with early stage and was told I’d be having surgery pretty quickly. Ended up having to have more tests to eliminate issues in the other side and thankfully that all seems to be clear. But that has meant I still don’t have a date for surgery (I should find out tomorrow hopefully). My question is about how you’ve all kept sane during this ‘limbo’ period. My emotions and anxiety are all over the place, I can’t really focus or concentrate so I’ve taken a fair few days off work. I’m lucky enough that I can work from home (when I’m up to it) and my boss is awesome but I weirdly feel guilty about taking time off as though I should be managing this better. I’m conscious my surgery might not be for another few weeks so feel I need to work out better ways to handle this. Any inputs welcome! Thanks.
Newly diagnosed and waiting for appt. breast becoming more tender as I wait :-(
Hi there, I feel I’m in the difficult position of waiting four weeks between diagnosis and first surgeon appointment. Invasive lobular ER+ PR + HER2 - lump that I noticed in right breast a month ago. I’ve had the MRI done privately this week so the information is ready at that appointment. Trouble is the breast and armpit just feels increasingly niggly and slightly tender while I wait. I’m worried that it’s just growing/spreading as I wait. I don’t have private insurance, do have savings. but wanted to hold out for public and it being a more multi-disciplinary team. I’m really struggling wondering if I should have gone private and quick :-( Thank you x
Just diagnosed IDC HR++ Her2 low mulitocal, still awaiting further tests and freaking out!
Hi all nice to meet you all but wish it were under better circumstances. I have just been diagosed earlier this month for a check up that I thought was going to show nothing so I was really thrown. I have a least two 1.5cm lesions and a number of smaller ones they are not sure about yet. Just met with the breast team yesterday for my first appointment. They were all lovely but not much info yet as they need to run more tests. They did two more biopsies of lesions not done initially and also ordered a bone and CT scan as well as an MRI. I was expecting teh MRI as I have Very dense breast tissue. I was not expecting the bone and CT scan, which they said are staging scans, as given the size of the lesions I thought I was considered early breast cancer. She reassured me this was just standard practice for lesions over 1cm but I have been in a tail spin since worrying it is already stage 4. I have a 9 year old son, his dad is completely unreliable and probamatic so does not and will not be living with us anytime soon. I havebnt even told him about it yet as he's not in a potisiton to do anythign right now and it would just cause more stress. I am the sole provider for us and all I can worry about is what happens if I go down. Who pays the mortgage, who puts food on the table. I know this is all way down the line and I keep trying to bring myself back but it's so hard. I am usually a very rational person so this is killing me. My next lot of scans are on Sunday and Monday and my follow up appointment will be a week after that to give them time to review the results and discuss my case before coming up with a plan. On one hand I am terrified it's going to be worse case senario and on the other I am terrified it if is bad news they won't wait until my next appointment and they'll call just before christmas and I'll have to manbage that on my own without ruining my sons day. He's already had to deal with enough of an emotional rollercoaster with his dad I don't want to add more to that. I thought I was doing ok but I'm crumbling. Every ache or pain has me over analysing. I know the waiting is the hardest part. I almost think I would be handling it better on my own as it would be ok to fall apart but I have to stay strong for my son.
Guilt
Thanks to BCNA and the forum contributors (my new friends). I was diagnosed with IDC this week at 49 and have been 'battling' my emotions rather than sitting into them. That stops now. A couple of family and friends have tried to console me by dismissing my emotions. "Oh, you'll be fine. So-and-so had breast cancer and she's fine." "It's like appendicitis. You'll get it cut out and move on." "With all the advancements in treatment, it's not like it can kill you anymore." "You're not special. Everyone has some form of cancer these days." I was starting to feel guilty for being so emotional. I felt like I needed to get over myself and just deal with it quietly and confidently. I'm lucky I have a supportive husband... and you all!Early HER2+
I understand what Early is and I am grateful that I found something at the same time as my breastscreen mammogram and it is not in lymph glands, PET was also clear but they need a new name for Early. My treatment is starting 9/10 and will be Chemo (abraxane) & hercepton then surgery and radiation. I thought I had choice after doing a lot of research on trusted websites, listening to great podcasts and asking questions of my MDT but although they say I do they highly recommend the above plan. I am resolved to losing my hair and looking forward to the freedom no hair should bring me, I am self employed so can regulate my hours, I am active and look forward to keeping that going, as I know how good it makes me feel and again research shows, it helps us through chemo and everything else. What I struggle with is seeing others reactions to the news and seeing my husband frustrated by the time it takes to have tests and get things started. I would delay treatment even longer if I could but know that is not a good decision as the HER2+ is a grade 3. With a name like Early people seem to think 🤔 I will have an easy run, and I certainly hope I do but have read enough to know that I may not. People also say oh that’s good it’s not urgent then and not that bad. For someone who limits toxins as much as one can this is testing my self control to the limits and then having people say and think 🤔 it is going to be an easy road does not sit well with me. I am babbling and that is certainly something that has happened since diagnosis. I spent 24 hours in denial and 24 hours in why and have decided to tell only positive supportive people going forward and focus on things I can control and leave the rest to my team. thankyou for letting me rant and thankyou for all your encouraging posts and links which I have loved. Let’s kick this tumours out of here x
Letting go of blame - WHY did I get cancer?
I've just listened to BCNA's excellent podcast: What you don't know until you do, and one of the comments there made me want to share something that might bring comfort to anyone wondering “Why me?” When I was diagnosed, I went straight to questioning what I might have done wrong. I think a lot of us do. It’s easy to assume cancer comes from our own doing - e.g. drinking, not exercising enough, or eating poorly. But in my case, none of that fits. I have never smoked or drank alcohol (!), and for decades now I’ve exercised daily and eat a vegetarian/pescatarian diet with no dairy, no processed food, and very limited processed sugar etc. Over the last years, I'm moved to a job that's relatively stress-free and giving me much satisfaction and flexibility. I’m young, healthy, lean, muscly, and don’t carry any of the high-risk genes. And still, I got breast cancer. I’m not sharing this to scare anyone or suggest healthy habits don’t matter. They absolutely do — and I believe they’re helping me now in recovery, physically and mentally, and hopefully they've contributed to having less aggressive cancer type. But I’m sharing it in case it helps some of you lift some guilt. If you’ve been blaming yourself for a glass of wine, skipped workouts, or a part of your diet — please don’t. Cancer is complex, and sometimes it just happens, even when you’ve done everything “right.” Sending love and strength to everyone going through this. *Moderators - pls feel free to remove if not appropriate*Newbie…long story
Hi everyone, Newbie here. Never dreamt I would be joining this club, but who does ?! This forum and website have been so helpful to me over the past month. My journey started last June when I decided to speak with my GP about a tender spot right on the inside edge of my left breast. She reassured me that tenderness isn’t typically a symptom of breast cancer, but we would check it out. Got an ultrasound and mammogram. US identified a small mass, mammo some calcifications. Got an us biopsy around October, all clear. Then around Christmas I noticed some brown nipple discharge (took a while to accept it was coming from the nipple, thought I had spilt something…. Every few days in the same spot!!!). Back to the GP, another ultrasound. The report said there was “debris” in the duct, couldn’t exclude papilloma, MRI would confirm, surgical consult recommended. So off for the consult, after which I was told the discharge was due to trauma to the breast from the biopsy (they didn’t send me for the MRI). This was purely based on discussion and very brief examination. In hindsight and knowing what I do now, I would have pushed back and demanded the MRI regardless. Relief! But my GP wasn’t convinced. She sent me for an MRI then a consult with a specialist breast surgeon who, after looking at the MRI, immediately sent me for some MRI and stereotactic biopsies…2 in my left and one in the right. That was a bit of a marathon! I was convinced it was all a waste of time and money! I turned up to the surgeon for results unconcerned…obviously rather naive! “You’ve got a lot going on in your breasts!” were her first words. LCIS and papilloma in my right breast, DCIS and invasive Mucinous carcinoma in my left. I was speechless. Shocked. Bewildered. Confused. We briefly discussed next steps, but I couldn’t get out of there fast enough! I called my husband in tears. We went back together to the surgeon the following Monday, after doing a bit of research, lots of reading, and chatting with a wonderful McGrath Breast Care Nurse. After asking more questions, I decided on a left mastectomy and right lumpectomy. Plus sentinel node biopsy on the left. But I was so angry. How could the first surgeon send me away without really being sure??!! I went through all the feelings, disbelief, anger, sadness, grief, a bit more anger, and finally acceptance (mostly anyway!!). I realise I have to let go of the anger, and am taking it on as a learning - it’s important to advocate for our own health and not accept something too easily if it doesn’t seem right. Hubby and I had a two week holiday booked up north the following week, which the surgeon said was fine, so we booked surgery for August 13, ten days after we would get home. The holiday was great, we hadn’t told anyone at that point (except my mum and work). We were able to not think about it and had some really special time together. It was good to have the space and time to process what was happening. so now I’m one week post surgery, contemplating the future, keen to get back to everything I used to do. I had been training for a half marathon in September, which of course now won’t be happening. We are hiking the Overland Track in February, so that’s what I’m aiming for. I’m so very lucky to have an amazing, competent, supportive partner. He has taken the same time off work as me to support my recovery. He even washed my hair for me yesterday :-) Recovery is going pretty well, although I’m often still uncomfortable in bed. Getting the drain tube out a couple of days ago was wonderful! We go back to the surgeon next week (two weeks after surgery) for dressings etc and results. Fingers and toes are all crossed! Thanks for getting this far, there’s something a little cathartic in writing this down. I’ve really appreciated reading others stories, it helps with knowing we are not alone and the feelings are valid. Thank you :-) Belinda xx