Do I stay or do I go?
Not your average post. Originally a backpacker from the UK, been in Aus 5 years and have moved onto a work sponsorship visa with my employer. I live in a very remote area and it is a 4 hour flight to my nearest 'treatment centre'. Two weeks ago it was confirmed (via biopsy) that in my left breast I have a 2mm invasive mass, and 10cm of non invasive DCIS. I had a contrast mamo and PET scan (no result yet) and scheduled for an MRI on the 6th June, and appointment with the surgeon to discuss options on the 10th June. My breast dr said the surgeon will recommend a mastectomy due to the large area of DCIS. Possibly chemo, radio and hormone therapy. They are also talking about what I want to do with my eggs. I am so scared, and I am not sleeping. I am only 34 years old without children. I don't know what to do, do I stay here in Australia and undergo the treatment recommended and stay near the hospital with the mother of a friend (who has also had breast cancer and has said she is more than happy to support me through required treatment). I love my life here that I have built over the past 5 years, and I love my job. I am scared I will lose my job with the next few months of treatment coming up (very little can be done remotely), my visa is tied to my job. I may get deported mid way through treatment? I dont know? I know I should speak to an immigration lawyer but I am already inundated with administration from cancer. My family back home are very supportive and will support whichever decision I make. They and I am also wary of the health care system back at home (which isn't in great shape). If I go home, I will take all my diagnosis letters and scans, but I will still have to start this process again from the start and basically be told twice I have cancer and they want to chop my breast off. I wont be able to get a job due to appointments and treatment, and wont be entitled to benefits as I haven't paid tax in my home country for 5 years. Its not just cancer anymore, I am not scared of the cancer as such as my whole life here being ripped away from under my feet. Sorry for the long post. I just don't know what to do for the best. Either way, I need to stay here until I have the full picture and know what the surgeon wants to do.
2nd operation DCIS
Hi all, Was diagnosed in Feb this year with high grade DCIS, 3 small tumours. Lumpectomy 3 weeks ago. Pathology report came up with not clean edges. The surgeon said I have two options, do another re-excision with most likely radiotherapy and endocrine therapy, or mastectomy. I have a family history of breast cancer. Has anyone been through this desición before? What was your experience like? outcomes? Thanks for sharing
Emotional Guidance
Hello 👋 I was just diagnosed two weeks ago with HER2 Positive BC. I’m 36 yrs old with two young children and a wonderful husband. I’m struggling with the mental, emotional side of it all and wondering if anyone could recommend a book to read to help me through. I’m struggling with big feelings of sadness and anger. I seem to have lost my want to get up and do every day things. I just want to sleep to forget. I don’t like this feeling and would really like to read and understand coping mechanisms to get me through. thank you x
New diagnosis metastatic breast cancer
Hi, I'm all very new to this being diagnosed only 7 wks ago with stage 4 metastatic breast cancer (triple positive) which has spread to my bones. I am 51 with 2 children. I had only had my first mammogram 18 mths previous which was clear. I felt unwell at work & went to hospital and they found it looking for something else. It has been such an overwhelming process. My family & friends have been amazing but am feeling so very alone.
Feeling scared and just a bit angry
Hi, I'm Karen, 61yo, from Victoria. I was diagnosed in September, my birthday actually, I was numb. I had been dealing with a very coercive relationship, narcissism, gaslighting the lot, to be told this news was just too much, I had all sorts going through my head, How do I tell my children? How do I do this? Why me? Everything was so hard to process and even now I'm struggling. I was told it was an Oestrogen based cancer, sorry I cant remember much of that conversation, but 2 Biopsies, the first one they biopsied the wrong lymph node, Pet scan, M.R.I and blood test later to be told sorry its not good news, well having a lump in the breast isnt good news anyway but, I had my right breast and Lymph nodes removed, then to be told its bad news I'm so sorry was another kick in the guts, 35 of my 36 nodes were affected, so onto another more thorough Pet scan, blood test and M.R.I, To get the good news that it wasn't anywhere else in my body. Now I'm preparing for Chemo to start on the 2nd of Jan and I'm absolutely terrified, I have no emotional or any other support at home, even though I'm told everyday that he cares, they say actions speak louder than words well Im yet to see any, my son who is my heart, doesn't know how to deal with this and neither do I. They have just had an Eptopic pregnancy and I'm hurting for them, we were all so excited and happy. I don't know what to do or how I'm going to do it, my living situation is so toxic to my mental health and is impacting on my son and daughter-in-law as well. My partner is trying to get me out of the house and that is something I can't deal with at the moment as I'm trying to deal with being there for my son and daughter-in-law and Chemo, I feel like I'm rambling, my life is a mess, I just don't know what to do. Sorry for the rambling talk I'm not very good at putting things on paper, everything is very disjointed.
DCIS - normal feelings?
Hi everyone, I was diagnosed in April this year with non invasive DCIS. I had surgery to remove growth, the radiation which finished in August. I worked mostly through the surgery and radiation treatment. But now I am feeling like I am having a breakdown. I am so angry and emotional and this is not me. I am post menopause (I went through early menopause due to surgery to remove an ovary) and I not on any hormone treatment. Is this “normal” to feel angry and emotional? I am seeing a psychologist. But I feel like my whole world has changed and no one quite understands or get what I have gone / man going through. Since April I have had only one week where I have had no medical appointments. I am completely drained. And guidance greatly appreciated. Xo
Newly diagnosed - feeling lost despite stuff happening.
I was diagnosed a few weeks ago, rarer invasive mucinal carcinoma. Coping well with what I know is happening but not so well with what I need to do, or where to get explanations. I’m having a Scout clip implanted tomorrow because I can’t have the MRI my surgeon requested. I have a CRT (heart) device and MRI was requested because the cancer is not well defined. So now I won’t know extent, lumpectomy, mastectomy, until the operation. Operation is on 28th. I guess my main thing is who to talk to about what will happen next. Having Pre Op stuff at GP next week, but do I just wait until the hospital gives me more detail? Do I ask to see a breast care nurse, there’s one at the surgeons office? Seeing GP I have so much to ask and take in because I’m on lots of drugs for too many health issues and I have to stop some, take less of others. And my normal confidence has flown the coop. Is this just a normal reaction?
Waiting, waiting, waiting + frustration
I’m sorry, I’m really making the most of the solidarity here. It’s been almost 3 weeks since my diagnosis (43yr old, Grade 2, ER+ PR+ HER- mixed lobular/ductal) & I’m usually a super patient person, but I’m feeling quite down. I go for my PET scan & MRI tomorrow morning, early. I’m then seeing the surgeon again next week for hopefully a bit of a plan for treatment. I’m sick of not being able to plan or commit to anything. I’ve kept working as much as I can, but I’m getting sick of being told about friends of friends who have died of BC, or at the other end that ‘it’s so treatable & nothing much to worry about’. This morning I had my first real big cry, which made my 10yo daughter cry too, which made me feel worse. I cried because she has a grotty cough & so we had to take her with us for the 4 hr trip to our nearest imaging place & not send her to school or expose our neighbours to her germs. I cried because my oldest daughter had to stay behind. I cried because my oldest daughter turns 13 very soon & wants to be excited & plan her birthday, then she flips & apologises & says ‘don’t worry about getting me anything Mum’. I really know now how it feels to feel like a burden. I told my husband I should have just gone alone this trip, but he insisted on coming to keep me company, which I do appreciate. I’m so lucky really to be surrounded by so much love & well-intentioned support, but I think reality is really starting to sink in. I’m already sick of doing the 8hr round trip for the nearest cancer care, yet this is only the start. How do I decide what surgery is best? I don’t care much about my appearance, & I think a mastectomy & going flat makes the most sense, causes the least disruption to my family, but I feel quite sad still about losing my breast. Ugh. Anyway, no need to reply, just needed to get this off my chest.Support with coping
I've just been diagnosed with invasive breast cancer NST, I haven't been told what stage or what kind yet. I'm 27 and this has come as a major shock to my family and I. I'm struggling with how to cope, major low feelings and significant worries about what the future brings, especially given my age. I'm hoping to be provided with some reassurance or advice or tips... or anything lol Thanks so muchMum with young children-how do you cope?
I’m 35 and was diagnosed with a 22mm IDC last month and DCIS, booked in for mastectomy in 10 days. I found my lump while breastfeeding, I have a one year old and a four year old, this diagnosis flipped my life upside down. Still dealing with crippling anxiety, every time I look at my kids or try to spend any quality time with them my fear of not being around for them comes up and I start crying. The sadness and crying is worse at night. Please share some coping mechanisms. I started tamoxifen and zoladex mid Feb so I don’t know if the emotions are also exacerbated by those.