Feeling overwhelmed
Hi thereAll I am 59, happily married, have two adult children. One grandson and baby no 2 due anyday now... Had surgery last week for lumpectomy and Sentinel node biopsy. Everything went well Saw surgeron yesterday . Lymph nodes are clear. Margins good. My issues is I am SO overwhelmed. Smiling for family. Smiling for friends. Little background. I had **bleep** cancer 10 years ago, back in 2016. Chemo and radiation. It was brutal. The burns were horrible. The exhaustion was the worst. Everyone is saying.... your so lucky you caught it early. You've done this before... you'll be right. Support is encouraging and I am lucky to be surrounded by lots of love. I am to be a grandmother again in two weeks and have a lively gorgeous 2 year old grandson. Timing suck.... I am overwhelmed with sadness I am overwhelmed With discourage, feeling of resentment. Feeling very isolated. **bleep** THIS CANCER... so sorry for language but it express how I feel. I want to shout. Cry. Hit something and hide under the covers and not deal with this. I know that I should be grateful. I am sick and exhausting from smiling on the outside, but paddling like hell of the inside. Hiding my emotions. I still work. Love the job. I work for a Toy library as assistant. Its not a stresing job. Only 3 days a week. They have been wonderful. How has everyone else cope. I know what I am going through is normal. Can anyone suggest a good cancer support group. I live in Victoria on the Mornington peninsula. Love and support to everyone going on this same journey Let's kick ass . Cancer sucks. Xxxxxx
Write off 6 to 12 months?
I was given a diagnosis today of small tumor, early invasive breast cancer, double hormone positive and I have an appointment with surgeon in 1 week. At just-turned-60, the next 9 months were supposed to include 2 sons' graduations, 1 son's wedding (a family first), our 25th wedding celebration, a road trip to find-purchase-or-build a new home in a tree-change location in another state, and downsizing-packing-relocating. Surgeon and nurse at breast clinic today seemed to think "we can work around things" ...is that realistic? What is the most valuable question to ask the surgeon, next week, re time frames and realistic expectations? Thanks.Just need to talk to someone
I’m 59yo and newly diagnosed with breast cancer. I’m really not sure I get what is going on either because I’m just slow or it’s just not all clear yet so I feel confused, in total panic and that I’m drowning and there is nobody to save me 😢 I am waiting for an mri this Thursday. I have a 10cm Not Special Type Grade 1 something positive to do with hormones and her2 1+. The surgeon says mastectomy is the only choice because of the size. There isn’t anything clear about what happens after that… is that how it’s meant to be? I just feel very lost appreciate any words of wisdom for these circumstances? susan
Working while waiting for surgery
Hi all, was diagnosed 3 weeks ago today with early stage and was told I’d be having surgery pretty quickly. Ended up having to have more tests to eliminate issues in the other side and thankfully that all seems to be clear. But that has meant I still don’t have a date for surgery (I should find out tomorrow hopefully). My question is about how you’ve all kept sane during this ‘limbo’ period. My emotions and anxiety are all over the place, I can’t really focus or concentrate so I’ve taken a fair few days off work. I’m lucky enough that I can work from home (when I’m up to it) and my boss is awesome but I weirdly feel guilty about taking time off as though I should be managing this better. I’m conscious my surgery might not be for another few weeks so feel I need to work out better ways to handle this. Any inputs welcome! Thanks.
Newly diagnosed and waiting for appt. breast becoming more tender as I wait :-(
Hi there, I feel I’m in the difficult position of waiting four weeks between diagnosis and first surgeon appointment. Invasive lobular ER+ PR + HER2 - lump that I noticed in right breast a month ago. I’ve had the MRI done privately this week so the information is ready at that appointment. Trouble is the breast and armpit just feels increasingly niggly and slightly tender while I wait. I’m worried that it’s just growing/spreading as I wait. I don’t have private insurance, do have savings. but wanted to hold out for public and it being a more multi-disciplinary team. I’m really struggling wondering if I should have gone private and quick :-( Thank you xNew diagnosis metastatic breast cancer
Hi, I'm all very new to this being diagnosed only 7 wks ago with stage 4 metastatic breast cancer (triple positive) which has spread to my bones. I am 51 with 2 children. I had only had my first mammogram 18 mths previous which was clear. I felt unwell at work & went to hospital and they found it looking for something else. It has been such an overwhelming process. My family & friends have been amazing but am feeling so very alone.
So confused, scared and teary
Hi all, I was just diagnosed yesterday with DCIS intermediate grade 2 and told to get off my HRT patches immediately. I have 3 areas in the one breast so I think i will need a masectomy. I have been contacted by Peter Mac in Melbourne regarding my referral and just waiting on confirmation of my appointment date. My brain is saying if I had to have cancer this is the one to get but my emotions are being ridiculous, so teary inside but cool and calm on the outside trying to support everyone else. If I do need a masectomy i want to have reconstruction surgery on the same day with a small implant but Im so worried as 6 months ago I was let go at work due to business downsizing and ive really struggled to find another job, my mum has just passed away and any savings I had have helped with the funeral etc so basically I am seriously going through hardship and only just paying my rent on my job seeker payment. I am so scared that I will find out going through this process there are some unexpected charges that arent included, all the sites say peter mac is free and I am bulk billing but Im so scared that my health is going to held back due to financial stress. Has anyone had this process done at peter mac, chose the medicare bulk billing option and was their reconstruction covered? Sorry Im really rambling here but its so much easier to type this to a stranger than someone I know. xxxxx
Just diagnosed IDC HR++ Her2 low mulitocal, still awaiting further tests and freaking out!
Hi all nice to meet you all but wish it were under better circumstances. I have just been diagosed earlier this month for a check up that I thought was going to show nothing so I was really thrown. I have a least two 1.5cm lesions and a number of smaller ones they are not sure about yet. Just met with the breast team yesterday for my first appointment. They were all lovely but not much info yet as they need to run more tests. They did two more biopsies of lesions not done initially and also ordered a bone and CT scan as well as an MRI. I was expecting teh MRI as I have Very dense breast tissue. I was not expecting the bone and CT scan, which they said are staging scans, as given the size of the lesions I thought I was considered early breast cancer. She reassured me this was just standard practice for lesions over 1cm but I have been in a tail spin since worrying it is already stage 4. I have a 9 year old son, his dad is completely unreliable and probamatic so does not and will not be living with us anytime soon. I havebnt even told him about it yet as he's not in a potisiton to do anythign right now and it would just cause more stress. I am the sole provider for us and all I can worry about is what happens if I go down. Who pays the mortgage, who puts food on the table. I know this is all way down the line and I keep trying to bring myself back but it's so hard. I am usually a very rational person so this is killing me. My next lot of scans are on Sunday and Monday and my follow up appointment will be a week after that to give them time to review the results and discuss my case before coming up with a plan. On one hand I am terrified it's going to be worse case senario and on the other I am terrified it if is bad news they won't wait until my next appointment and they'll call just before christmas and I'll have to manbage that on my own without ruining my sons day. He's already had to deal with enough of an emotional rollercoaster with his dad I don't want to add more to that. I thought I was doing ok but I'm crumbling. Every ache or pain has me over analysing. I know the waiting is the hardest part. I almost think I would be handling it better on my own as it would be ok to fall apart but I have to stay strong for my son.
DCIS, DMX reconstruction new diagnosis
Recently diagnosed DCIS Stage 0. Opting for DMX and reconstruction using my tummy fat same day…. Videos and some social media groups are TBH quite confronting and disturbing. I would rather know but….. Reading and hearing how awful the recovery is, pain, discomfort, loss of movement and after some helpful tips to prepare please: particularly diet, did you change your diet pre surgery? High protein to help with recovery? Can you recommend a website or recipe site? Things post surgery: hire a recliner to rest in, did you hire a wedge or breast pillow as well? Button up shirts and pjs, anything else that you found useful please? I’ve heard about the drains which sound daunting… what do i need to do with them? Toileting and cleaning myself… I hear you can’t put your arm around your back to wipe? I’ve got wet wipes but …. Don’t want to ask my partner to wipe my bum? Diet after surgery to avoid constipation. Any tips would be greatly appreciated thank you so so much.
Guilt
Thanks to BCNA and the forum contributors (my new friends). I was diagnosed with IDC this week at 49 and have been 'battling' my emotions rather than sitting into them. That stops now. A couple of family and friends have tried to console me by dismissing my emotions. "Oh, you'll be fine. So-and-so had breast cancer and she's fine." "It's like appendicitis. You'll get it cut out and move on." "With all the advancements in treatment, it's not like it can kill you anymore." "You're not special. Everyone has some form of cancer these days." I was starting to feel guilty for being so emotional. I felt like I needed to get over myself and just deal with it quietly and confidently. I'm lucky I have a supportive husband... and you all!
