Do I stay or do I go?
Not your average post. Originally a backpacker from the UK, been in Aus 5 years and have moved onto a work sponsorship visa with my employer. I live in a very remote area and it is a 4 hour flight to my nearest 'treatment centre'. Two weeks ago it was confirmed (via biopsy) that in my left breast I have a 2mm invasive mass, and 10cm of non invasive DCIS. I had a contrast mamo and PET scan (no result yet) and scheduled for an MRI on the 6th June, and appointment with the surgeon to discuss options on the 10th June. My breast dr said the surgeon will recommend a mastectomy due to the large area of DCIS. Possibly chemo, radio and hormone therapy. They are also talking about what I want to do with my eggs. I am so scared, and I am not sleeping. I am only 34 years old without children. I don't know what to do, do I stay here in Australia and undergo the treatment recommended and stay near the hospital with the mother of a friend (who has also had breast cancer and has said she is more than happy to support me through required treatment). I love my life here that I have built over the past 5 years, and I love my job. I am scared I will lose my job with the next few months of treatment coming up (very little can be done remotely), my visa is tied to my job. I may get deported mid way through treatment? I dont know? I know I should speak to an immigration lawyer but I am already inundated with administration from cancer. My family back home are very supportive and will support whichever decision I make. They and I am also wary of the health care system back at home (which isn't in great shape). If I go home, I will take all my diagnosis letters and scans, but I will still have to start this process again from the start and basically be told twice I have cancer and they want to chop my breast off. I wont be able to get a job due to appointments and treatment, and wont be entitled to benefits as I haven't paid tax in my home country for 5 years. Its not just cancer anymore, I am not scared of the cancer as such as my whole life here being ripped away from under my feet. Sorry for the long post. I just don't know what to do for the best. Either way, I need to stay here until I have the full picture and know what the surgeon wants to do.
2nd operation DCIS
Hi all, Was diagnosed in Feb this year with high grade DCIS, 3 small tumours. Lumpectomy 3 weeks ago. Pathology report came up with not clean edges. The surgeon said I have two options, do another re-excision with most likely radiotherapy and endocrine therapy, or mastectomy. I have a family history of breast cancer. Has anyone been through this desición before? What was your experience like? outcomes? Thanks for sharing
Emotional Guidance
Hello 👋 I was just diagnosed two weeks ago with HER2 Positive BC. I’m 36 yrs old with two young children and a wonderful husband. I’m struggling with the mental, emotional side of it all and wondering if anyone could recommend a book to read to help me through. I’m struggling with big feelings of sadness and anger. I seem to have lost my want to get up and do every day things. I just want to sleep to forget. I don’t like this feeling and would really like to read and understand coping mechanisms to get me through. thank you x
Relationship damage from cancer
Has anyone experienced significant damage to their relationship from a cancer diagnosis? My partner has stayed by my side and supported me throughout my treatment, but now that I'm coming out the other end into survivorship, instead of bringing us closer together, we are in a very bad place. He resents me because he has lost a year of his life due to my diagnosis and treatment. He has a lot of anger towards me and has been pushing me away for months, and it's causing me a lot of pain and extra stress which isn't good for me. Pushing me away is his defense mechanism because he is scared he will lose me, but it feels as though has already written me off. We both very much love each other, but we aren't in a good place and I'm so hurt that he is blaming me for something that was out of my control instead of being grateful that he didn't lose me. I feel so alone and like I have to hide my fear and emotions from him because he cannot handle it. Has anyone been in a similar position and come back from it?
New diagnosis metastatic breast cancer
Hi, I'm all very new to this being diagnosed only 7 wks ago with stage 4 metastatic breast cancer (triple positive) which has spread to my bones. I am 51 with 2 children. I had only had my first mammogram 18 mths previous which was clear. I felt unwell at work & went to hospital and they found it looking for something else. It has been such an overwhelming process. My family & friends have been amazing but am feeling so very alone.
Work/grief/sadness
Hi all, apologies if this has already been discussed but I couldn’t find anything elsewhere. I’m 46, had a right mastectomy (Diep flap) and left reduction in early December for stage 2 invasive lobular carcinoma. My recovery went really well, no pain whatsoever. I still have another procedure to alter the flap and then have nipple tattooing but have to wait until later in the year. Started on Tamoxifen in Jan. I went back to work at the start of March and since then have felt the wheels come off a bit. I went back on reduced hours but in a different role to what I usually do (but just as busy!) 3 weeks in I was feeling overwhelmed and crying at the drop of a hat. This role was only to cover someone else and when I asked for more time on reduced hours/duties I was given yet another new role which is totally unfamiliar to me. Consequently I ended up leaving work early this morning as I was in tears. I think because my recovery went so well I hadn’t properly processed everything that had happened before (diagnosis to surgery was pretty quick). And work seems to have triggered a huge reaction that I didn’t expect. It feels like the reality of all this has hit all at once and I’m on a huge emotional rollercoaster. I am seeing a counsellor and she’s been amazing. Plus I’ve started acupuncture. I’m so used to be busy and I used to love it but at the moment, I just don’t have the capacity for it. Has anyone else had a similar experience?Help i feel like a robot
Been on exmestane and goserelin for 3 years and 4 years respectively. Is it normal to feel emotionless? I miss (?) the emotional highs and lows of having hormones. I do feel anger and frustration and at times stressed but joy, passion, deep love seem to have left me for apathy. Since I wasnt menopausal at diagnosis i have no reference pount to understand if this is normal for menopause or is it just the drugs? I kind of feel a bit jipped. Is this what the rest of my life looks like. Sorry to be dramatic but whats the point of it all?
Struggling with Tamoxifen side effects
Hi All , My name is Christine, I have been on Tamoxifen now for 2 years and have always struggled with the side effects of Tamoxifen...I get them all! I have had 1 breast removed after being diagnosed for a second time with breast cancer 2 years ago.The first time 10 years ago I underwent radiotherapy ... I'm 48 yrs old. I am struggling with: Hot flushes Aching legs Struggle to keep weight off no matter how much exercise i do moodiness loss of libido fuzzy headaches generally changed me to feeling crap daily Interrupted sleeping patterns Constantly going to toilet I have spoken to my doctor who suggested anti-depressants which helps with the hot flushes but i am reluctant to take them due to other side effects. I have suggested stopping Tamoxifen to my doctor who advised it would reduce my life span by 2-3%. I have a friend in a similar position as mine and she stopped them with no issues to date (8 years) and is urging me to stop. Does anyone suggest alternatives or make comment if stopping Tamoxifen is irresponsible? Any help or suggestions are much appreciated. It is really affecting my life, my personality, my thinking and made me a completey different person .. I was once strong physically, mentally and spiritually ......its also affecting my husband..anything he can take?..lol Christine xx
Feeling scared and just a bit angry
Hi, I'm Karen, 61yo, from Victoria. I was diagnosed in September, my birthday actually, I was numb. I had been dealing with a very coercive relationship, narcissism, gaslighting the lot, to be told this news was just too much, I had all sorts going through my head, How do I tell my children? How do I do this? Why me? Everything was so hard to process and even now I'm struggling. I was told it was an Oestrogen based cancer, sorry I cant remember much of that conversation, but 2 Biopsies, the first one they biopsied the wrong lymph node, Pet scan, M.R.I and blood test later to be told sorry its not good news, well having a lump in the breast isnt good news anyway but, I had my right breast and Lymph nodes removed, then to be told its bad news I'm so sorry was another kick in the guts, 35 of my 36 nodes were affected, so onto another more thorough Pet scan, blood test and M.R.I, To get the good news that it wasn't anywhere else in my body. Now I'm preparing for Chemo to start on the 2nd of Jan and I'm absolutely terrified, I have no emotional or any other support at home, even though I'm told everyday that he cares, they say actions speak louder than words well Im yet to see any, my son who is my heart, doesn't know how to deal with this and neither do I. They have just had an Eptopic pregnancy and I'm hurting for them, we were all so excited and happy. I don't know what to do or how I'm going to do it, my living situation is so toxic to my mental health and is impacting on my son and daughter-in-law as well. My partner is trying to get me out of the house and that is something I can't deal with at the moment as I'm trying to deal with being there for my son and daughter-in-law and Chemo, I feel like I'm rambling, my life is a mess, I just don't know what to do. Sorry for the rambling talk I'm not very good at putting things on paper, everything is very disjointed.
