Guilt
Thanks to BCNA and the forum contributors (my new friends). I was diagnosed with IDC this week at 49 and have been 'battling' my emotions rather than sitting into them. That stops now. A couple of family and friends have tried to console me by dismissing my emotions. "Oh, you'll be fine. So-and-so had breast cancer and she's fine." "It's like appendicitis. You'll get it cut out and move on." "With all the advancements in treatment, it's not like it can kill you anymore." "You're not special. Everyone has some form of cancer these days." I was starting to feel guilty for being so emotional. I felt like I needed to get over myself and just deal with it quietly and confidently. I'm lucky I have a supportive husband... and you all!
Early HER2+
I understand what Early is and I am grateful that I found something at the same time as my breastscreen mammogram and it is not in lymph glands, PET was also clear but they need a new name for Early. My treatment is starting 9/10 and will be Chemo (abraxane) & hercepton then surgery and radiation. I thought I had choice after doing a lot of research on trusted websites, listening to great podcasts and asking questions of my MDT but although they say I do they highly recommend the above plan. I am resolved to losing my hair and looking forward to the freedom no hair should bring me, I am self employed so can regulate my hours, I am active and look forward to keeping that going, as I know how good it makes me feel and again research shows, it helps us through chemo and everything else. What I struggle with is seeing others reactions to the news and seeing my husband frustrated by the time it takes to have tests and get things started. I would delay treatment even longer if I could but know that is not a good decision as the HER2+ is a grade 3. With a name like Early people seem to think 🤔 I will have an easy run, and I certainly hope I do but have read enough to know that I may not. People also say oh that’s good it’s not urgent then and not that bad. For someone who limits toxins as much as one can this is testing my self control to the limits and then having people say and think 🤔 it is going to be an easy road does not sit well with me. I am babbling and that is certainly something that has happened since diagnosis. I spent 24 hours in denial and 24 hours in why and have decided to tell only positive supportive people going forward and focus on things I can control and leave the rest to my team. thankyou for letting me rant and thankyou for all your encouraging posts and links which I have loved. Let’s kick this tumours out of here xThe Whole Person - the 'other' effects of breast cancer
When people hear "breast cancer", they often think of treatment plans and hospital visits. But the impact also shows up in the quieter, more personal corners of life that don’t get talked about as much. It’s the emotional exhaustion of trying to hold everything together. It’s the financial responsibilities of time off work, extra appointments, and unexpected bills. It’s the shift in identity, with pressure to keep up with your job, your family, and your own expectations. It’s the silence around intimacy, menopause, and how your body starts to change unexpectedly. If this resonates with you, you’re not the only one who feels this way—and our Online Network is here to help. Here are some more groups you may not yet have discovered, where you can connect to discuss the 'other' effects of cancer: 💬 Young Women – A place for younger women to talk about fertility, dating, parenting, identity, and everything in between. 💬 Let’s Talk About Vaginas – A real, respectful, and empowering place to talk about sexual health, intimacy, and body changes. In the meantime, please remember that our Helpline team (1800 500 258) are here for you whenever you need support and information.The Whole Person - the 'other' effects of breast cancer
When people hear "breast cancer", they often think of treatment plans and hospital visits. But the impact also shows up in the quieter, more personal corners of life that don’t get talked about as much. It’s the emotional exhaustion of trying to hold everything together. It’s the financial responsibilities of time off work, extra appointments, and unexpected bills. It’s the shift in identity, with pressure to keep up with your job, your family, and your own expectations. It’s the silence around intimacy, menopause, and how your body starts to change unexpectedly. If this resonates with you, you’re not the only one who feels this way—and our Online Network is here to help. Here are some groups you may not yet have discovered, where you can connect to discuss the 'other' effects of cancer: 💬 Work and Breast Cancer – For anyone juggling treatment, recovery, and career. Share tips, vent frustrations, and find support. 💬 Young Women – A place for younger women to talk about fertility, dating, parenting, identity, and everything in between. 💬 Let’s Talk About Vaginas – A real, respectful, and empowering place to talk about sexual health, intimacy, and body changes. In the meantime, please remember that our Helpline team (1800 500 258) are here for you whenever you need support and information.
Baring all
News story about showing off the scars doesn’t consider the trauma of seeing this. There’s a lot of discussion about bringing breast cancer to the attention of the public. With one in seven women likely to experience this disease I’d think it was already noticed, without having women undress to show scars. Also some of us don’t appreciate being reminded. And some think their medical history is a private matter. I was having a coffee with a dozen people in a cafe when my friend casually announced to everyone that I’d had breast cancer. Why is this okay?
Today's feelings in poetry
Lucky So lucky, people say. That they caught it when they did That it hasn’t spread That they got it all That I have insurance So, so lucky. That my friend told me about her cancer That I finally moved my arse and Went and had that mammogram That I live in the lucky country So lucky That my prognosis is good That my job will be there for me That I am surrounded by family and friends With their love, soup and casseroles. Lucky. That my new set are perkier Smaller, Scar-rier, numb-ier. A bit lopsided Like me. Some days though, I just feel A tiny bit Unlucky.Working while waiting for surgery
Hi all, was diagnosed 3 weeks ago today with early stage and was told I’d be having surgery pretty quickly. Ended up having to have more tests to eliminate issues in the other side and thankfully that all seems to be clear. But that has meant I still don’t have a date for surgery (I should find out tomorrow hopefully). My question is about how you’ve all kept sane during this ‘limbo’ period. My emotions and anxiety are all over the place, I can’t really focus or concentrate so I’ve taken a fair few days off work. I’m lucky enough that I can work from home (when I’m up to it) and my boss is awesome but I weirdly feel guilty about taking time off as though I should be managing this better. I’m conscious my surgery might not be for another few weeks so feel I need to work out better ways to handle this. Any inputs welcome! Thanks.
