New diagnosis metastatic breast cancer
Hi, I'm all very new to this being diagnosed only 7 wks ago with stage 4 metastatic breast cancer (triple positive) which has spread to my bones. I am 51 with 2 children. I had only had my first mammogram 18 mths previous which was clear. I felt unwell at work & went to hospital and they found it looking for something else. It has been such an overwhelming process. My family & friends have been amazing but am feeling so very alone.
High grade DCIS
Hello everyone, diagnosed with high grade DCIS I've had a lumpectomy. The surgeon said clear margins. Im scheduled to have a bilateral mastectomy in 29 days. Im going to go flat no reconstruction. I have no family support and quite frankly a useless husband. Rocky marriage prior to the diagnosis. My surgeon said I don't need lymph nodes removed because of the clear margins. I have myself dead and buried im terrified. I have no one to talk to. Hence why I'm here reaching out to you wonderful people. Please be a support for me I have no one. I've lost two sisters to this disease I don't want to join them just yet. Love and blessings Shannon
Letting go of blame - WHY did I get cancer?
I've just listened to BCNA's excellent podcast: What you don't know until you do, and one of the comments there made me want to share something that might bring comfort to anyone wondering “Why me?” When I was diagnosed, I went straight to questioning what I might have done wrong. I think a lot of us do. It’s easy to assume cancer comes from our own doing - e.g. drinking, not exercising enough, or eating poorly. But in my case, none of that fits. I have never smoked or drank alcohol (!), and for decades now I’ve exercised daily and eat a vegetarian/pescatarian diet with no dairy, no processed food, and very limited processed sugar etc. Over the last years, I'm moved to a job that's relatively stress-free and giving me much satisfaction and flexibility. I’m young, healthy, lean, muscly, and don’t carry any of the high-risk genes. And still, I got breast cancer. I’m not sharing this to scare anyone or suggest healthy habits don’t matter. They absolutely do — and I believe they’re helping me now in recovery, physically and mentally, and hopefully they've contributed to having less aggressive cancer type. But I’m sharing it in case it helps some of you lift some guilt. If you’ve been blaming yourself for a glass of wine, skipped workouts, or a part of your diet — please don’t. Cancer is complex, and sometimes it just happens, even when you’ve done everything “right.” Sending love and strength to everyone going through this. *Moderators - pls feel free to remove if not appropriate*WHO do I tell?
I was diagnosed with early-stage breast cancer 2 weeks ago and had a lumpectomy with sentinel node biopsy last week. I’m recovering , but figuring out support has been tricky. I’m single, with a small close circle — amazing women who are already doing what they can, but they’re busy and going through a lot themselves. I know I need more help, but the next layer of friends includes people who always overshare others private news. I’m hesitant to open up, even though some of them might be able to support me practically. I also love my privacy, alone time I'm not good at asking for what I want/ need - and so far have managed. So I’m a bit stuck between needing more help and not being sure who I feel safe relying on. Has anyone else struggled with this? How did you decide who to tell or lean on — especially when trust or privacy was a concern? Should I even worry about privacy - would it be so bad if the whole world knew...? I prob feel it might from romantic and future job perspective... Thank you in advance!
Work/grief/sadness
Hi all, apologies if this has already been discussed but I couldn’t find anything elsewhere. I’m 46, had a right mastectomy (Diep flap) and left reduction in early December for stage 2 invasive lobular carcinoma. My recovery went really well, no pain whatsoever. I still have another procedure to alter the flap and then have nipple tattooing but have to wait until later in the year. Started on Tamoxifen in Jan. I went back to work at the start of March and since then have felt the wheels come off a bit. I went back on reduced hours but in a different role to what I usually do (but just as busy!) 3 weeks in I was feeling overwhelmed and crying at the drop of a hat. This role was only to cover someone else and when I asked for more time on reduced hours/duties I was given yet another new role which is totally unfamiliar to me. Consequently I ended up leaving work early this morning as I was in tears. I think because my recovery went so well I hadn’t properly processed everything that had happened before (diagnosis to surgery was pretty quick). And work seems to have triggered a huge reaction that I didn’t expect. It feels like the reality of all this has hit all at once and I’m on a huge emotional rollercoaster. I am seeing a counsellor and she’s been amazing. Plus I’ve started acupuncture. I’m so used to be busy and I used to love it but at the moment, I just don’t have the capacity for it. Has anyone else had a similar experience?Regrowing hair
This possibly sounds silly and vain however, I am looking for advice on regrowing my hair post chemo. I have been looking online but hasn’t been helpful. The first hair that came through was grey and crazy and is now an inch long and there is a black ‘sheen’ coming through now. Should I get number two all over to tidy up and have hair all same length and then start growing OR just persevere until it gets some length and then deal with it. I have mostly been accepting the au natural look which is looking very nutty professor at the moment. thanks in advance
Papillary Lesion - overwhelming anxiety
Hi Everyone, Sorry if this isn't the right place for this post, but I'm feeling overwhelmed and very alone right now. I have been a member here for 13 years and it's crazy to think that it was initially to help support my mum with her breast cancer. Now, here I am with my own possible issue... My mother developed her breast cancer (stage 2c) at age 46, the same age I am now. She's alive and well after treatment (partial mastectomy and hysterecotomy), but it's also meant that I get my boobs checked regularly via mammo and/or ultrasound. This year, they found a 'papillary lesion or complex cyst' - that's what it says on my GP's referral for me to get another U/S and a core biopsy if needed. I mean, it's hard to NOT know someone who's been through a breast cancer journey these days. There are so many women who've experienced it. I've always felt like my turn was just around the corner. What's probably made me even more anxious is that my dear cousin is battling Stage 4 MBC and I've been in contact with her frequently to try and support her. She and I are in very similar circumstances (ie. living alone with kids) so I can't help but feel very deeply for her. I think holding that emotional space has done a number on me... Compounding the issue is that I have pretty severe PTSD which I've got under control for years now, but suddenly I'm having panic attacks and struggling to do even the most basic tasks. I have no idea what I'll be like when I get the results of the second scan/biopsy. I live alone with my 17-year-old (who has special needs). Frankly, I'm terrified and the fear is paralysing me. GP is urging me to make mental health appointments to get it under control. What will happen to my child if I get sick? Sorry for the ramble. Any advice or wisdom would be so appreciated. I feel better just making this post. Thanks, Effy.
