Forum Discussion
Just diagnosed
Hi, I thought I would introduce myself here. I am 49 years old and have just been diagnosed (two days ago) with an Invasive Ductal Carcinoma in my left breast. HR+ HER 2 negative, provisional grade 1, 4 small lumps.
Will be meeting my surgeon at RBWH next week on Wednesday. The last 11 days, since the Breast screen recall feel like a blur. So much has happened and of course I didn’t anticipate any of that (lumps aren’t palpable). I have been directed here by the wonderful nurse from the Breast Screen and am very grateful to find so much support and information.
I haven’t told my kids or friends yet so it feels good to be able to open up here.
9 Replies
Hi Kari210
We are so sorry to see you joining our select little group …. Whack up ANY questions that you may have, as we’ve all ‘been there, done that’ and all of us combined, should be able to give you a helpful answer. xx
Everyone remembers the shock of hearing the ‘diagnosis: “You've got breast cancer” ..... Causing sadness, distress and even anger. It really mucks with your brain, sometimes even more than your body! It can be highly stressful & upsetting in the early days of diagnosis - so if you feel a bit overwhelmed by it all, give the Helpline a bell on 1800 500 258 (Mon-Fri, 9-5) for a confidential chat with one of the Mods xx.
Make sure you take a trusted friend or relative with you to all your meetings from now on (for physical and mental support - and also a 2nd set of ears!) & also consider recording them too, on your phone xx. It is almost impossible to remember everything that is said & this way you can go back over it in the quiet of your home & take notes. xx
Also, make sure you stay away from “Dr Google’ (difficult tho it is) - as a lot of info there is not only out of date - it probably also isn’t even relative to your own diagnosis. Going down that rabbit-hole will also muck with your brain.
If you feel stressed/upset (which is 100% normal) Consider listening to Charlotte Tottman's Podcasts on her own experience with BC - as she explains it all very well xx She is a specialist breast cancer Counsellor who had a double mastectomy following her own diagnosis, choosing to stay flat. She was surprised at her own reaction to the news/surgery/treatment, as she'd been counseling others for many years & thought she 'knew it all'!
She has done 2 ‘podcast seasons' ... check out the 1st season, right from her diagnosis onwards and how she coped, then move on to the 2nd season. She is very easy to listen to & you'll probably recognise your own reactions in many of the podcasts.http://www.drcharlottetottman.com.au/my-podcast.html
Check out this thread too - there is a lot of info on the forum & what to take with you to hospital - even 'tick sheets' that you can fill in to take with you to your appointments on your mental & physical health .... this info has been gleaned from many of our members over the years ... I hope it helps you xx
https://onlinenetwork.bcna.org.au/discussion/23477/a-big-welcome-to-all-new-online-network-members#latest
take care & all the best for your Surgeon’s appointment next week.Thank you so much. Yes I have started listening to Charlotte’s podcast today! I have spent 9 days googling all possible scenarios and watching millions of tik toks. The day I got diagnosed I found about this website and from then I am finding all the information here.
Hi Kari210 it is good to be able to open up in this forum. I am 52, was diagnosed with early breast cancer (invasive ductal carcinoma) and the end of July and had my surgery last week. There was a real shift for me post surgery, in the realisation that this is a long road, longer than anything I have traveled on before. And it will be different for everybody.
It sounds like you are in Brisbane (the RBWH reference)? I am too. Happy to chat/meet later down the track. I wonder if there is ever any meet ups arranged by BCNA?
KalGal Sometimes BCNA has Webinars in various cities or towns ... but many of us just have informal 'meet & greets' when we know members are living nearby for a coffee & a chat!
I've made some fantastic 'lifelong' friends from BCNA & are in regular contact with them, both on & off the forum! ;)
You can use the personal messaging to chat with individual members too 😉ThanksKalGal and I am sorry you are going through it as well. Hope the recovery is going well. I have been told to take one step at a time. At this point I still don’t know how to tell the kids or my friends, not to mention the big unknown of the treatment.
I would love to meet and chat in person one day. Yes, I am Brisbane, inner west.Kari210 oooh.... stay away from Dr Google!!! A lot of the info is way out of date & may not even be relevant to your actual diagnosis & treatment!! Get your info from trusted sources - your Medical team, BC Nurse ... and us!!
Yep, it is definitely one step at a time ... one day at a time ... one hour at a time if needs be xx. Don't forget to take a trusted friend or family member with you to the appt - as an extra set of ears & both physical & mental support - and record it too - so you can go over it again in the quiet of your home xx
Re telling kids & friends ..... I only told those nearest & dearest to me initially & only opened up to others 12 months down the line. The support & understanding, really helped - plus any assistance they were able to offer as well. It also relieves a lot of the mental pressure/stress .... hmmmm ... they may also be a bit stroppy that you haven't told them earlier!! :(It was a good friend in Qld with BC who put me onto BCNA - the best thing I ever did!
I kept them informed on a 'bulk email' every couple of weeks, so that I didn't have to keep repeating the story over & over, as it DOES get upsetting and tiring! (Some people set up private groups on FB or do a private 'blog' online & only share the link with those they want to follow it.)
When my husband was first diagnosed in 2010, he didn't want anyone to know - but I found it impossible to keep the pretense that everything was OK specially when bumping into friends & colleagues at the shops etc, as I'd just burst into tears .... so I did the same with him back then.take care & all the best for Wed xx
Hi Kari210
I’m so sorry that you have this diagnosis too but you are definitely in the right place here. There are so many knowledgeable and generous people on here to help you through this journey. Just knowing that people understand how I’m feeling, (or not feeling), made a huge difference for me when I was diagnosed in July.
I totally understand not telling family and friends straight away. For me, I chose to wait until I knew the game plan before I shared the news but that’s a personal choice for each of us.
If you have any questions, big or small, I’m sure you’ll find answers and support right here.
Hope all goes well with your appointment on Wednesday and in the meantime, try to keep busy doing things you enjoy. 💕Thank you so much!
