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MazaDj's avatar
MazaDj
Member
2 months ago

Very difficult to listen the Podcast

Hi all, so I started listening to Charlotte's podcast. I just started the Episode 2. While this podcast is fantastic, I find it extremely hard to listen and my emotions just overcome me. 

I would love to know how is everyone going and what do you do to stay calm and not be a slobbering and emotional mess like me.  šŸ˜” 

Thank you everyone šŸ’“ 

19 Replies

  • We've all been there, MazaDj​ xx.   Just let it out when you are in a 'safe space' xx. I found that a very loud & healthy 'aaaggghhhh' whilst in the car on my own (even at traffic lights!) helps!!  Just make sure the windows are fully wound up first!!  šŸ˜‰

    Maybe just wait a while going back to the podcast too.   In the meantime, on Monday, why don't you give the Helpline a call on 1800 500 258 for a confidential chat with one of the Mods xx  After all, a problem shared is a problem halved!

    Take care xx

    • MazaDj's avatar
      MazaDj
      Member

      Hi arpie​ thanks for your message, it gave me a much needed giggle with the windows up. However, doubt that will help, cause I am naturally very loud :)

      Thanks for telling me about the helpline, I'll definitely give them a call tomorrow as I am desperate for someone to talk to. 

      Sending you šŸ’“ 

  • I haven't felt or expressed any emotions yet. I feel disconnected from it all.   I did get nervous before my first appointment, but that's it. My messy will come when I least expect it and probably in front of someone.  I think it's because I can't do much about my diagnosis? Maybe??  Some people will make me feel this cold or selfish.  I disagree :)

    I don't think there's a right or wrong way to feel or grieve in this early stage.  So, let it out! And yes, do find someone to talk to that can help you process all of the very large and legitimate feelings you have.  

    • MazaDj's avatar
      MazaDj
      Member

      Hey KalGal​ thanks for your message. No, you're definitely not cold nor selfish, it is simply the way you responded to it all and that is OK. We are all different and our responses vary. Often we wish we respond in this way or that way, but regardless it is hard for anyone in this situation.

      Sending you ā¤ļø 

  • MazaDj, I really understand what you mean. ā¤ļø I was diagnosed on the same day as you and my emotions seem to come and go in waves too. Some moments I’m getting on with normal life and then suddenly I think ā€œI have cancerā€ and it still doesn’t quite feel real.

    I’m beginning to realise there probably isn’t a right way to do any of this. If the podcast feels too much today, maybe it’s simply not for today. It will still be there when you’re ready.

    I’m really glad we’ve found this space where we can actually say how we’re feeling without having to pretend we’re okay. Sending you a big hug. ā¤ļøšŸŒø

    • MazaDj's avatar
      MazaDj
      Member

      Hi Gr8ful-jen​ thank you for your message. So true what you said about getting on with the normal life and then remembering what we "have". Sorry, I just can't say it or write it. 

      It definitely doesn't feel real, but then when I realise it is I just break down. 

      This space is amazing, as much as I wish we never needed to be here, it is good to talk to others and share our feelings.

      Sending you a big hug too šŸ«‚ 

  • MazaDj​ At this time it's helpful to be very picky about what we take on board which it sounds like you're doing.

    I was diagnosed 11 months ago and I haven't listened to the podcast at all. Will I one day? Maybe. But it's not a necessity for me.

    After diagnosis I found myself emotional when watching a movie or a tv series where people got sick. For as long as I remember those moments have caused a lump in my throat but after diagnosis the tears would flow.  Sometimes I sat with the tears to try and understand my reaction, other times I changed channel. I then tried to avoid those movies and series for a while.

    The unexpected rush of emotion has eased with time. I still feel a bit emotional at specific, and sometimes random, moments. I remind myself that it's okay. I've been through a lot. 

    • MazaDj's avatar
      MazaDj
      Member

      Hi Moomincorn​ thank you for your message. You are so right about being picky. This is so overwhelming, and emotions are intense. Yesterday we had friends over, and I just couldn't bring myself to tell them about my diagnosis.

      I think we all know that we need to be kind to ourselves, but it is so so hard. 

      šŸ™ ā¤ļø 

  • Hey, all the words have been said here, fantastic advice but I’m here saying I totally get all of it. Every tear, all the grief, every fear 🌸

    it’s awful. Mentally & emotionally debilitating. 
    especially at night 🄹

    I’ve been telling everyone which now I wish I hadn’t because they’ve all got advice 🫤

    i listen to solfeggio frequencies when I get afraid. With headphones, light a candle and close my eyes. It soothes my soul šŸ¦‹

    like my friend said ā€˜we’ve got this’ (she has BC too)

     

  • Hello, I had double mastectomy and immediate reconstruction 6 months ago. I’m not ok most days… I talk to a psychologist every 4 weeks…. it’s hard to talk to friends about it because firstly they don’t think DCIS is cancer and then they think how lucky I am to get a breast lift, a boob job, a tummy tuck - all words that I find really upsetting and not funny….. I can’t watch shows where someone is sick, I don’t want to watch the news, I don’t like hearing about anyone that is sick or has passed….  Even with the best family and partner u feel alone….. I send you hugs and strength and hope you are ok xxx 

    • arpie's avatar
      arpie
      Member

      So sorry to hear you are doing it tough just now Adelaide2025​  .... why not give the BCNA helpline a bell to have a confidential chat with one of the team - on 1800 500 258 (Mon-Fri, 9-5) 

      I hope you are going OK physically & healing well.   Keeping yourself busy, doing things you love doing, or even starting new hobbies is a great way of moving forward .... looking for 'good things' every day, to give you a lift xx

      take care

    • Linlinnylinda's avatar
      Linlinnylinda
      Member

      Adelaide2025​ im a newbie here & was wondering how your surgery went & then I found this post . 
      I hope that you’re feeling a bit better after another month & appreciate your honesty. I’m still a bit numb after my diagnosis & wondering g how I will be feeling in next few days after telehealth after surgeons team meeting. I hate not knowing & not having a plan for moving ahead.

      all the best & hang in there. šŸ’

      • MazaDj's avatar
        MazaDj
        Member

        Hello Linlinnylinda​ sorry we all had to meet here šŸ˜”  It’s tough, but please hang in there and know that the cloud will lift. It's OK to feel everything you feel, but know that the plan will make things bit easier. Post as much as you want. I check in here regularly and really love messaging with people here as we all simply get each other, and no question is silly.  

        I am scheduled for my surgery next week but prior to that I have a blue dye procedure scheduled, and I am absolutely petrified of both, pocedure and a surgery. I'm a mess. Trying hard to be brave.

        Please look after yourself and be gentle and kind to yourself. Please make yourself a number 1 priority.

        Wishing you all the best 🌻

    • MazaDj's avatar
      MazaDj
      Member

      Hi Adelaide2025​ thanks for your message. I am not sure if I ever responded, so sorry.

      I completely get you. It's so tough. But please hang in there and be kind to yourself. 

      I can imagine how hard it is to hear those comments from other people, but just try and focus on yourself and your recovery. The rest is just noise.

      I am scheduled for my blue dye injection and surgery next week and I am extremely anxious. Working hard on my "mindset" and just being "brave" but struggling.

      Anyway, hopefully it all goes well for all of us and I wish you all the best. 

      Stay strong šŸ’Ŗ šŸŒ»ā™„ļø

      • Adelaide2025's avatar
        Adelaide2025
        Member

        Hello Mazadj and thankyou for your message. Which hospital see you in? Try and have someone with you for the dye cast lymphoscintiagram for support. I found it really challenging and disturbing on my own. Nothing against the staff, but they have nooooo idea how immensely painful it can be, and that’s 24 hrs less than having your poor boobs taken away…..  I felt so along and was left in a hallway for a very long time; crying, distraught and in pain. I think everyone should hang a friend or partner or even a hospital buddy that’s been through it. To feel your pain with you xx