Feeling angry
I have recently been diagnosed and had a lumpectomy last Thursday. I’m feel fine not overly sore but tired. Mine was picked up on a mammograms so early and I’m very grateful and know how lucky I am. I’m ok with diagnosis 1 in 7 my turn. The issue is I’ve been through so much recently and I’m finding myself angry. Well the last 2 days. 2 knee replacements, fibromyalgia, depression, late adhd diagnosis at 62, mum with dementia I’ve had to put into care, I sold her house without her knowing which is heart breaking - no help from siblings and that just this year. Lol. I had a breakdown a few years ago through work, got divorced, my dog died and I burnt my nachos the other day. A bit of light relief. There is more but that will do. I’m exhausted keeping a lid on everything. I’ve spoken to my psychologist who suggested Emdr. I’m by myself and just so angry. My kids have their own lives and basically my safe place is my home (with a massive mortgage) and my dogs. I had started a wonderful new business but have had to put that on hold until I find out what happens next. Which is next Monday. This is not a why me post it’s a is it normal to be angry. Not all the time but it’s scathing and my dogs have heard some words that I have never mentioned before. I’m not really good at asking for help. And was disappointed with the support I received with my knee replacements so reluctant to go through that rejection again. I think maybe it’s the lack of control, not knowing where we go from here. Again I know how lucky I am and whatever treatment (looks like radiation and hormone therapy and possibly another op and chemo if it’s travelled) I will gladly do and be thankful. I guess I’m just bewildered and have no idea what’s normal and whats not. And if I’ve honest I’m teary too. Ok I feel lonely and unsupported as well.
Mental health and new diagnosis.
Hi all, been struggling really bad finding out i have cancer in my right breast early diagnosis. I dont know what sort as i cant cope with the details of it all. I have seen the doctors and waiting MRI appointment and surgery date. I am really struggling with the anxiety and the moving forward bit. I suffer with anxiety and depression quite badly. I was given the option of just having the two lumps removed or the whole breast. I cant decide which option will help me move forward better. So firstly is there any mental health accept to this organisation? I only have my hubby to rely on who is also classed as my career. I am unsure which option to go with as my mental health plays a big part in my descion. I need to make a descion that i can be happy with and wont make my anxiety worse. Unsure of who to talk to or where to go for help.New grade 1 diagnosis
Hello. I’ve just been diagnosed: left breast invasive ductal, grade 1, hormone receptor-positive, HER2-negative. GP summary is that this is a low-grade hormone-positive breast cancer that can be successfully treated usually with lumpectomy then radiotherapy. I’m seeing a surgeon next week and feel relieved that this has been caught early. That said, I’m not looking forward to the next few months and am wondered if there is anyone else at a similar starting point - or people who’ve been down a similar road and can share advice and support. I’m 59, live in Sydney, work full time in a high pressure job, and am a single mum with a teenager at home. Thank youEmotional speed bumps
Hi, I'm trying to figure out how to prepare for life post-mastectomy. I got my diagnosis a week ago and have been managing well, but then I tried to join a FB group for people going flat and got hit hard by a gatekeeper question. The question was something like, "Have you had a mastectomy?" Options: 1. Yes 2. No, but I'm looking at my options 3. No, but I am supporting a loved one who has. The curious thing is that I felt completely left out by this option list. I wanted the option: No, but I am about to. I got all teary and had to write about it. Funny what sets us off. Anyway, I would love some tips about clothes to wear during recovery that are easy to manage and don't make me stand out.Guilt
Thanks to BCNA and the forum contributors (my new friends). I was diagnosed with IDC this week at 49 and have been 'battling' my emotions rather than sitting into them. That stops now. A couple of family and friends have tried to console me by dismissing my emotions. "Oh, you'll be fine. So-and-so had breast cancer and she's fine." "It's like appendicitis. You'll get it cut out and move on." "With all the advancements in treatment, it's not like it can kill you anymore." "You're not special. Everyone has some form of cancer these days." I was starting to feel guilty for being so emotional. I felt like I needed to get over myself and just deal with it quietly and confidently. I'm lucky I have a supportive husband... and you all!
Looking for IVF specialist who knows menopause/tamoxifen
Hello! First time poster here. I was diagnosed with triple positive BC in 2022. We welcome our first baby born via surrogacy in 2023 but have one more embryo that I’m going to transfer myself because I’ve had 2.5 years on tamoxifen and no sight of reoccurrence. My Oncologist said okay yesterday! I am hoping to find an IVF specialist in Australia- preferably Bris that has dealt with my situation before - medical menopause and 2.5 years tamoxifen. Has anyone heard of a doctor like this? I’m happy to do Telehealth. My current doctor is Tiana Ernst at City Fertility Brisbane (where our embryo is) who is lovely but want to be sure I research for our best chance. Thank you!
Letting go of blame - WHY did I get cancer?
I've just listened to BCNA's excellent podcast: What you don't know until you do, and one of the comments there made me want to share something that might bring comfort to anyone wondering “Why me?” When I was diagnosed, I went straight to questioning what I might have done wrong. I think a lot of us do. It’s easy to assume cancer comes from our own doing - e.g. drinking, not exercising enough, or eating poorly. But in my case, none of that fits. I have never smoked or drank alcohol (!), and for decades now I’ve exercised daily and eat a vegetarian/pescatarian diet with no dairy, no processed food, and very limited processed sugar etc. Over the last years, I'm moved to a job that's relatively stress-free and giving me much satisfaction and flexibility. I’m young, healthy, lean, muscly, and don’t carry any of the high-risk genes. And still, I got breast cancer. I’m not sharing this to scare anyone or suggest healthy habits don’t matter. They absolutely do — and I believe they’re helping me now in recovery, physically and mentally, and hopefully they've contributed to having less aggressive cancer type. But I’m sharing it in case it helps some of you lift some guilt. If you’ve been blaming yourself for a glass of wine, skipped workouts, or a part of your diet — please don’t. Cancer is complex, and sometimes it just happens, even when you’ve done everything “right.” Sending love and strength to everyone going through this. *Moderators - pls feel free to remove if not appropriate*Do I stay or do I go?
Not your average post. Originally a backpacker from the UK, been in Aus 5 years and have moved onto a work sponsorship visa with my employer. I live in a very remote area and it is a 4 hour flight to my nearest 'treatment centre'. Two weeks ago it was confirmed (via biopsy) that in my left breast I have a 2mm invasive mass, and 10cm of non invasive DCIS. I had a contrast mamo and PET scan (no result yet) and scheduled for an MRI on the 6th June, and appointment with the surgeon to discuss options on the 10th June. My breast dr said the surgeon will recommend a mastectomy due to the large area of DCIS. Possibly chemo, radio and hormone therapy. They are also talking about what I want to do with my eggs. I am so scared, and I am not sleeping. I am only 34 years old without children. I don't know what to do, do I stay here in Australia and undergo the treatment recommended and stay near the hospital with the mother of a friend (who has also had breast cancer and has said she is more than happy to support me through required treatment). I love my life here that I have built over the past 5 years, and I love my job. I am scared I will lose my job with the next few months of treatment coming up (very little can be done remotely), my visa is tied to my job. I may get deported mid way through treatment? I dont know? I know I should speak to an immigration lawyer but I am already inundated with administration from cancer. My family back home are very supportive and will support whichever decision I make. They and I am also wary of the health care system back at home (which isn't in great shape). If I go home, I will take all my diagnosis letters and scans, but I will still have to start this process again from the start and basically be told twice I have cancer and they want to chop my breast off. I wont be able to get a job due to appointments and treatment, and wont be entitled to benefits as I haven't paid tax in my home country for 5 years. Its not just cancer anymore, I am not scared of the cancer as such as my whole life here being ripped away from under my feet. Sorry for the long post. I just don't know what to do for the best. Either way, I need to stay here until I have the full picture and know what the surgeon wants to do.
