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bear91's avatar
bear91
New member
2 days ago

Do I stay or do I go?

Not your average post. Originally a backpacker from the UK, been in Aus 5 years and have moved onto a work sponsorship visa with my employer. I live in a very remote area and it is a 4 hour flight to my nearest 'treatment centre'.

Two weeks ago it was confirmed (via biopsy) that in my left breast I have a 2mm invasive mass, and 10cm of non invasive DCIS. I had a contrast mamo and PET scan (no result yet) and scheduled for an MRI on the 6th June, and appointment with the surgeon to discuss options on the 10th June. My breast dr said the surgeon will recommend a mastectomy due to the large area of DCIS. Possibly chemo, radio and hormone therapy. They are also talking about what I want to do with my eggs.

I am so scared, and I am not sleeping. I am only 34 years old without children. I don't know what to do, do I stay here in Australia and undergo the treatment recommended and stay near the hospital with the mother of a friend (who has also had breast cancer and has said she is more than happy to support me through required treatment).

I love my life here that I have built over the past 5 years, and I love my job. I am scared I will lose my job with the next few months of treatment coming up (very little can be done remotely), my visa is tied to my job. I may get deported mid way through treatment? I dont know? I know I should speak to an immigration lawyer but I am already inundated with administration from cancer. 

My family back home are very supportive and will support whichever decision I make. They and I am also wary of the health care system back at home (which isn't in great shape). If I go home, I will take all my diagnosis letters and scans, but I will still have to start this process again from the start and basically be told twice I have cancer and they want to chop my breast off. I wont be able to get a job due to appointments and treatment, and wont be entitled to benefits as I haven't paid tax in my home country for 5 years. 

Its not just cancer anymore, I am not scared of the cancer as such as my whole life here being ripped away from under my feet.

Sorry for the long post. I just don't know what to do for the best. Either way, I need to stay here until I have the full picture and know what the surgeon wants to do.

 

anxiety
biopsy
chemotherapy
emotions
family
mastectomy
radiotherapy
support groups
surgery
treatment decisions

4 Replies

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  • nicholsmi's avatar
    nicholsmi
    Member
    2 days ago

    Hi bear91,  my diagnosis is fairly similar to yours all in a matter of the last 3 and 1/2 weeks (good Friday eve) living life carefree to being stopped mid stride with a diagnosis. I'm a kiwi so not quite the distance as you have or challenges with visas.  I believe Australia has the best possible care for this type of medical care.   Seeking medical care alone is even more challenging.  I called my sisters who came immediately and joined me over the past 3 weeks, we are not wealthy and yes their distance is shorter than the UK, but sometimes the tickets cost the same!  If i had to walk the past 3 weeks alone im unsure if would have had the mental strength, with all we manage while waiting for appts, and reviews and next steps, it has been a comfort to have them here and now my good friends who I consider family support me at appts while my sisters return back to their lives.  My choice without them may have been to return to NZ despite knowing the health system there is not quite up to par as it is here.  This is a hard question for anyone hun, and only one you will know how to answer. Try not to sit in fear, easy to say hard to do! Be kind to yourself, don't let the mind get too creative and catastrophise everything for decisions like this you need your mind clear and then you need to trust that you made the best decision for you in the that moment.  I hope this helps and doesnt add further confusion, I wish you every success towards your journey to great wellness. 

    • Tri's avatar
      Tri
      Member
      2 days ago

      Hibear91​ I am so sorry to hear you have this unwelcome diagnosis and what a shock it must be, together with the uncertainty and disruption to the career and life that gives you joy.

      It is such a personal decision but as someone whose treatment ended last year, I feel like (in hindsight) that the period of my treatment was just a modest pause and, since I finished, I’ve been able to return to doing many of the things I enjoy.  

      As you have mentioned the connection between your work and visa status, you might be able to get help from the Cancer Council’s free service that connects people to lawyers and HR advisors.

      https://www.cancer.org.au/support-and-services/practical-and-financial-assistance/pro-bono-program

  • arpie's avatar
    arpie
    Member
    17 hours ago

    Hi bear91​  -  I am so sorry to hear of your diagnosis.  Tri​ has given some great advice - gather as much info as you can, to help you make the decision .... 
    This bloody diagnosis mucks even more with your brain than your body - so lining up all your options and trying to make the best decision for YOU is the way to go. 

    Slow down, take lots of deep breaths .... hopefully it will all pan out nicely for you xx

    It almost sounds like you are hoping/planning on staying on in Australia, if not permanently, then long-term ....
     
    Do you know if you are covered to have your surgery & treatment here - or will you have to pay for it?  UK does have a reciprocal medical agreement with Australia (as does NZ.)
    https://www.servicesaustralia.gov.au/reciprocal-health-care-agreements-visiting-from-united-kingdom?context=22481#a1

    How long have you been with your employer on the visa?  Is there any 'medical insurance' included in the job?   Are you given sick leave & holiday leave?  Do you have any up your sleeve?  Is there any way that you can use these up for your surgery/recovery (and if ongoing treatment?) so that it doesn't interfere with your visa?

    Having your friend's mum backing you up near the hospital is a real bonus ... as she fully understands what you are going thru.   I bet she will almost 'become like family' too xx

    If you have a mastectomy, and don't require chemo, the recovery from surgery is often 'easier' than having 'lesser' surgery (lumpectomy/partial mastectomy) tho every person's recovery is different.

    If you have radiation - it will require you to be near the facility for daily visits (Mon-Fri) for as many weeks as they choose you to have it .... 

    Fingers crossed, you just need the mastectomy & hormone meds xx

    Take care, maybe even contact the hospital admin to see if they can give you any info as well? Wishing you all the best xx