Scared and lonely
Hi everyone, I was diagnosed about 2 weeks ago. I have cancer in both my left breast and the main lymph node under the armpit. It has been a hell of a last 9 months. While on a holiday in Thailand with my husband for my 60th birthday, he told me that the spark had gone. One month later he said he wanted a divorce. Five months later I was diagnosed. It has been three weeks since the tumors were found and still waiting for scans. Hopefully tomorrow at my first oncology appointment. I am living in the family home with my husband (who I love still) in the bedroom downstairs and one of my daughters. This whole situation is so hard to accept. A regular ultrasound showed a cancer that had progressed beyond the breast. It makes me wonder why they aren’t yearly.
Do I stay or do I go?
Not your average post. Originally a backpacker from the UK, been in Aus 5 years and have moved onto a work sponsorship visa with my employer. I live in a very remote area and it is a 4 hour flight to my nearest 'treatment centre'. Two weeks ago it was confirmed (via biopsy) that in my left breast I have a 2mm invasive mass, and 10cm of non invasive DCIS. I had a contrast mamo and PET scan (no result yet) and scheduled for an MRI on the 6th June, and appointment with the surgeon to discuss options on the 10th June. My breast dr said the surgeon will recommend a mastectomy due to the large area of DCIS. Possibly chemo, radio and hormone therapy. They are also talking about what I want to do with my eggs. I am so scared, and I am not sleeping. I am only 34 years old without children. I don't know what to do, do I stay here in Australia and undergo the treatment recommended and stay near the hospital with the mother of a friend (who has also had breast cancer and has said she is more than happy to support me through required treatment). I love my life here that I have built over the past 5 years, and I love my job. I am scared I will lose my job with the next few months of treatment coming up (very little can be done remotely), my visa is tied to my job. I may get deported mid way through treatment? I dont know? I know I should speak to an immigration lawyer but I am already inundated with administration from cancer. My family back home are very supportive and will support whichever decision I make. They and I am also wary of the health care system back at home (which isn't in great shape). If I go home, I will take all my diagnosis letters and scans, but I will still have to start this process again from the start and basically be told twice I have cancer and they want to chop my breast off. I wont be able to get a job due to appointments and treatment, and wont be entitled to benefits as I haven't paid tax in my home country for 5 years. Its not just cancer anymore, I am not scared of the cancer as such as my whole life here being ripped away from under my feet. Sorry for the long post. I just don't know what to do for the best. Either way, I need to stay here until I have the full picture and know what the surgeon wants to do.
Waiting, waiting, waiting + frustration
I’m sorry, I’m really making the most of the solidarity here. It’s been almost 3 weeks since my diagnosis (43yr old, Grade 2, ER+ PR+ HER- mixed lobular/ductal) & I’m usually a super patient person, but I’m feeling quite down. I go for my PET scan & MRI tomorrow morning, early. I’m then seeing the surgeon again next week for hopefully a bit of a plan for treatment. I’m sick of not being able to plan or commit to anything. I’ve kept working as much as I can, but I’m getting sick of being told about friends of friends who have died of BC, or at the other end that ‘it’s so treatable & nothing much to worry about’. This morning I had my first real big cry, which made my 10yo daughter cry too, which made me feel worse. I cried because she has a grotty cough & so we had to take her with us for the 4 hr trip to our nearest imaging place & not send her to school or expose our neighbours to her germs. I cried because my oldest daughter had to stay behind. I cried because my oldest daughter turns 13 very soon & wants to be excited & plan her birthday, then she flips & apologises & says ‘don’t worry about getting me anything Mum’. I really know now how it feels to feel like a burden. I told my husband I should have just gone alone this trip, but he insisted on coming to keep me company, which I do appreciate. I’m so lucky really to be surrounded by so much love & well-intentioned support, but I think reality is really starting to sink in. I’m already sick of doing the 8hr round trip for the nearest cancer care, yet this is only the start. How do I decide what surgery is best? I don’t care much about my appearance, & I think a mastectomy & going flat makes the most sense, causes the least disruption to my family, but I feel quite sad still about losing my breast. Ugh. Anyway, no need to reply, just needed to get this off my chest.
Newly Diagnosed with TNBC
Hi everyone my name is Nique. I am 54yrs old and I was recently diagnosed with TNBC in December 2023 and I have had my first chemo and Immunotherapy on Friday Jan 12th. It is taking me a long time to process this information and sometimes I think it is surreal. My family has been really supportive throughout all of this especially my husband and one of my sister who herself went through her own journey with Breast Cancer (She had the Hormone positive). It is hard at the moment to say if the side effects are bad or not as I recently had COVID. Apart from the body ache (Which could be from COVID), everything taste metallic in my mouth and I do feel tired. I made the decision to cut my hair really short and then my husband will shave it off once it starts falling. For me cutting off my hair was a reality that this is real but it is still hard to digest at times. I am still working full time as I work remotely for an interstate company, but I Know that eventually I will need to decide whether to stay fulltime or part-time. My Chemo is every Thursday from my next session and I was lucky to have my sister there with me during my first one, unfortunately she is here on holidays and will be returning back to Dubai. I honestly don't know what I would have doe if she wasn't with me. She was there in the doctors office when I got the news and as I was in shock she took over and asked all the questions. Her and my husband have been with me to all my appointments, apart from being my support person she was also my husband's support person and for my kids. I honestly don't know how I am going to go through Chemo without her being there. Thank you for listening to me.Support and Family
Hi all, I have already posted my recent diagnosis story. Still going through the very early stages and I see my breast surgeon for the first time tomorrow. Today has been a bit tough. My son (15) was already suffering from anxiety prior to this diagnosis (although through meds and psychologist he was starting to get better), but it has really sent him in a spiral. He didn't want to attend school today and that was a real battle to get him there. I feel guilty that he is going through this and the problem is that things for me will certainly get worse before they get better (not to be negative, but I don't think the treatment will be a walk in the park) and this will all impact him. He says that when he is at school he cannot focus and I feel so bad for him. He is in Yr 10, but doing accelerated maths (so has started the year 12 component there). With all the anxiety he has had recently his work had already started to go downhill and now with this it is really suffering. My sister is incredibly supportive and positive, but I feel that I am ringing her constantly with my issues and didn't want to share this with her. I know that they want to be there for you, but I don't want to impact other's mental health. This doesn't only affect us, it also affects everyone around us. Does everyone feel like this when first diagnosed? I am sure it gets easier to navigate down the track. Yesterday my son asked if I was dying. It is difficult to answer this, since I don't know whether it has spread or not myself. Obviously, I do not say this to him, but how do others talk to their kids about this?
New mum struggles just got more challenging
Hi everyone! It’s lovely to meet you all despite this being the location. I was officially diagnosed on Tuesday but I’ve suspected it was breast cancer for over a week since the mood at my biopsy seemed urgent (and extremely sympathetic). I’m 34 years old and first time mum to an awesome little 11 month old boy. I’ve been struggling being the default parent because of the surprisingly small amount of help my partner offers. I thought we’d be more of a team but I let him get away with doing the bare minimum early on and now it’s slipped into a pattern that isn’t sustainable. I struggle with resenting him and it’s definitely affecting our relationship. I feel especially snappy and reactive now. This diagnosis is extra troubling as I have almost lost all faith in him stepping up more. How did others navigate their parenthood and relationship/marriage challenges while dealing with their cancer journey?
Introduction...
hi there, Thought I'd say hi and introduce myself. I am 30 years old and have a 7 year old daughter. I was diagnosed on 27/11/2015. It all still feels very surreal and overwhelming. Doctors think I have Inflamatory Breast Cancer so are treating me for this diagnosis. My treatment plan is 6 rounds of chemo, surgery and then radiation. I meet with the oncologist in the next few days to learn more. I'm still trying to get my head around all the jargon, medical terms and medication names! I'm hoping I can find some support and answers to some of my questions here. Kylie
newly diagnosed - IDC
Hi Everyone, I am so glad to see such a supportive group of people. I have recently been diagnosed with invasive Ductal Carcinoma in my right breast 15MM in size, my left had a lump but it was noted as benign fibroadenoma. My GP says from the report that it has not reached my Lymph nodes so that's positive, but at the moment all I am doing is stressing and going through bouts of crying (which i know is all normal, but all I can think is how I tell my 2 girls (age 10+11) I have been booked in to see the hospital next Tuesday 8th Dec, so the wait is making it worse as all I can think is what if is has spread and the GP got it wrong. I would really like some advice as my GP as not gone into much detail and I think Dr Google is making it worse. my breasts are not that big to begin with so saying it is 15MM is probably big in my breasts, I am prepared to have a double mastectomy as don't want the likelihood of it coming back, but again is that my call or do i wait for the oncologist and specialist next week. thanks all for listening x
Was diagnosed 27th November 2019 I'm in some kind of denial
My story actually starts when I had my 2 yearly mammogram which was in October this year. I'm one of those people that when some test needs to be done I do it. This time was no different but deep down I felt odd about it for some strange reason. All the other times I was of a lower weight but this time I was heavier and of course I blame the "fat for everything lol". Anyway went to the appointment the ladies there are awesome and they remember you which is great and non judgemental which made me feel a little better. Ok had the mammogram and went home. 2 weeks later I got a phone call from the Breast Awareness clinic at Fiona Stanley Hospital (in WA) saying that I need to come in for an ultrasound and maybe a biopsy. That is when I went into semi shock... I made the appointment which was on the 26th November. The day came I went to the appointment the staff there were awesome the Dr she was brilliant. Had another mammogram, then an ultrasound and after a few minutes was called in to have the core biopsy. I thought to myself my poor right breast. When that was all done I made an appointment for the following day. Couldn't sleep that night so I was up googling core biopsy, ultrasounds whatever I thought of I googled it. Finally crashed. Woke up travelled to the hospital and got there 1 hour early. Time of the appointment the Dr called me in and she was so calm and then she told me. The results came back Grade 1 DCIS invasive breast cancer. Up until she mentioned the C word I was calm but then that opened the flood gates and I just broke down. She reassured me that it has been caught early and the treatment will be surgery, radiotherapy and hormone therapy. I thanked her and made another appointment to see the nurse, surgeon. When I walked out of the reception the ladies that I saw the day before asked how I went I told them and I just broke down. But we all hugged which made me feel somewhat better. I got home and told my son. As I am his only living parent (his father died in 1995) this shook him but as he said "Mum you are going to kick this in the ass hard" then I lost it again. Fast forward to 12th December (yesterday) when I saw my nurse and surgeon. My best friend whom I have know since we were 5 came with me for support as well as someone to listen in case it went over my head (still in denial here). The surgeon is a lovely woman she told me what was going to be done and how I have to go the day before I go in to hospital to have some dye injected for the lymph nodes. Also explained the surgery and what options there are. Also about the radiotherapy etc. I still cannot believe that I actually have breast cancer. How in the space of 2 years from one mammogram to another this happened. I said to the nurse I am blaming it on the fat.. I have to blame it on something. The only person I have not told is my Mum. My Mum is 96 and I have actually put it off since 27th November but I will tell her next week when I take my son with me and maybe this will mend the bridge that has broken between them. There are in my family my Mum, my Son and myself (my Dad passed away in 2008) so as I said to my friend this has to bring us together or there is no hope. To say I am not scared would be lying to myself, I am petrified beyond words. To think that I am a strong person like everyone says I am deep down I am a weak jelly baby. I am angry. I want to shout at everyone to back off. I sometimes want to get in my car and drive far away and forget about this which feels like a nightmare. I think it is all a bad dream and I will wake up and find all is well.
Any tips on removing fiximol post surgery 😖
Hi, I’m a 56 yr old mum of 2 boys and I was diagnosed with early stage breast cancer on the 18th June on a routine mammogram.i had a lumpectomy and sentinel node biopsy on the 13th July and see the surgeon this Thursday for my results and the next stage of my journey. I think because I lost my Mum suddenly on the 26th March ( In Ireland and I haven’t been able to go home to my dad and family because of covoid) , this pales in significance . I am glad my surgery is over and haven’t told my family at home in Ireland as they have enough to deal with especially my Dad. I am lucky to have a very supportive husband and friends. I do have one question - any hints on how to get the fiximol off ? Thanks for listening and sharing my journey.