Write off 6 to 12 months?
I was given a diagnosis today of small tumor, early invasive breast cancer, double hormone positive and I have an appointment with surgeon in 1 week. At just-turned-60, the next 9 months were supposed to include 2 sons' graduations, 1 son's wedding (a family first), our 25th wedding celebration, a road trip to find-purchase-or-build a new home in a tree-change location in another state, and downsizing-packing-relocating. Surgeon and nurse at breast clinic today seemed to think "we can work around things" ...is that realistic? What is the most valuable question to ask the surgeon, next week, re time frames and realistic expectations? Thanks.
Feeling angry
I have recently been diagnosed and had a lumpectomy last Thursday. I’m feel fine not overly sore but tired. Mine was picked up on a mammograms so early and I’m very grateful and know how lucky I am. I’m ok with diagnosis 1 in 7 my turn. The issue is I’ve been through so much recently and I’m finding myself angry. Well the last 2 days. 2 knee replacements, fibromyalgia, depression, late adhd diagnosis at 62, mum with dementia I’ve had to put into care, I sold her house without her knowing which is heart breaking - no help from siblings and that just this year. Lol. I had a breakdown a few years ago through work, got divorced, my dog died and I burnt my nachos the other day. A bit of light relief. There is more but that will do. I’m exhausted keeping a lid on everything. I’ve spoken to my psychologist who suggested Emdr. I’m by myself and just so angry. My kids have their own lives and basically my safe place is my home (with a massive mortgage) and my dogs. I had started a wonderful new business but have had to put that on hold until I find out what happens next. Which is next Monday. This is not a why me post it’s a is it normal to be angry. Not all the time but it’s scathing and my dogs have heard some words that I have never mentioned before. I’m not really good at asking for help. And was disappointed with the support I received with my knee replacements so reluctant to go through that rejection again. I think maybe it’s the lack of control, not knowing where we go from here. Again I know how lucky I am and whatever treatment (looks like radiation and hormone therapy and possibly another op and chemo if it’s travelled) I will gladly do and be thankful. I guess I’m just bewildered and have no idea what’s normal and whats not. And if I’ve honest I’m teary too. Ok I feel lonely and unsupported as well.
Newly Diagnosed
Hi My name is Victoria, I'm 42 years old and I have been newly (well, 5.5 weeks ago) diagnosed with breast cancer. It is is located underneath the nipple on my left breast and it is invasive ductal carcinoma, ER+, PR- HER2-, Stage Two. (Sorry if I don't have all the details but that is what I have interpreted it as). The tumor is 2.5 cm. I have seen my surgeon twice and I will be having a single mastectomy next week some time followed by 6 months of chemotherapy. We had discussed a lumpectomy so he could try and save the nipple but I opted for the mastectomy, just for a clean break. I'm dealing with it okay- I'm a bit concerned I haven't cried yet- and everyone else around me is very supportive and very shocked. I just wanted to introduce myself and hopefully be able to contribute something to these groups. Thank you Victoria
New diagnosis, mum guilt and surgery
Hi All! It’s been a big month… recent diagnosis of invasive ductile carinomas x 2 in left breast, E+ PR+HER2LOW+1. Grabbed my breast after shooting pain on night before my 39th birthday, GP few days later, week after that had mammogram/ultrasound/biopsies x 3. Scheduled for bilateral mastectomy with DIEP flap reconstruction in a few weeks at the Wesley in Brisbane. Have been feeling quite positive, but now surgery date locked in I’m having a lot more anxiety!! Have 2 kids (5 & 7) that I’m worried about being away from, and have a busy job as a lawyer that I’m keeping going whilst waiting for surgery. I’m finding it a lot to plan for all I want to organise before surgery, so any tips/suggestions/ support would be amazing - I like to be super organised so particularly keen for any recommendations re what to pack etc!!
Guilt
Thanks to BCNA and the forum contributors (my new friends). I was diagnosed with IDC this week at 49 and have been 'battling' my emotions rather than sitting into them. That stops now. A couple of family and friends have tried to console me by dismissing my emotions. "Oh, you'll be fine. So-and-so had breast cancer and she's fine." "It's like appendicitis. You'll get it cut out and move on." "With all the advancements in treatment, it's not like it can kill you anymore." "You're not special. Everyone has some form of cancer these days." I was starting to feel guilty for being so emotional. I felt like I needed to get over myself and just deal with it quietly and confidently. I'm lucky I have a supportive husband... and you all!
Looking for IVF specialist who knows menopause/tamoxifen
Hello! First time poster here. I was diagnosed with triple positive BC in 2022. We welcome our first baby born via surrogacy in 2023 but have one more embryo that I’m going to transfer myself because I’ve had 2.5 years on tamoxifen and no sight of reoccurrence. My Oncologist said okay yesterday! I am hoping to find an IVF specialist in Australia- preferably Bris that has dealt with my situation before - medical menopause and 2.5 years tamoxifen. Has anyone heard of a doctor like this? I’m happy to do Telehealth. My current doctor is Tiana Ernst at City Fertility Brisbane (where our embryo is) who is lovely but want to be sure I research for our best chance. Thank you!Hello
Introducing myself - I’m a 65 year old writer and TAFE teacher. Diagnosed with high grade DCIS about a month ago. I’ve had a lumpectomy and am due (fingers crossed) for a re-excision tomorrow before starting radio therapy. I’ve had a monster of a cold so the re-excision may not go ahead - in which case I’ll have to live with the less-than optimum margins in one specific spot. I live with my husband and my 94 year old mother - we care for her as she has a form of dementia. I am considering getting respite care for her through part of the radiotherapy just as a bit of emotional relief but haven’t completely made up my mind yet. I’m finding these new challenges a tricky tightrope to walk. Work has been great - and I know I’m lucky! We teach online and have done so since about 2007 and are a small but supportive team. But it’s still hard, isolating and the domestic front is emotionally exhausting. Still, courage comrades!
High grade DCIS
Hello everyone, diagnosed with high grade DCIS I've had a lumpectomy. The surgeon said clear margins. Im scheduled to have a bilateral mastectomy in 29 days. Im going to go flat no reconstruction. I have no family support and quite frankly a useless husband. Rocky marriage prior to the diagnosis. My surgeon said I don't need lymph nodes removed because of the clear margins. I have myself dead and buried im terrified. I have no one to talk to. Hence why I'm here reaching out to you wonderful people. Please be a support for me I have no one. I've lost two sisters to this disease I don't want to join them just yet. Love and blessings ShannonResources for my kids
Hi everyone 👋 I'm 34 years old and recently diagnosed. About to start chemotherapy and want to find some books or resources to help me talk to my young kids about it when I start. I think my 4 year old daughter is going to be particularly shaken by the hair loss and visible impacts of chemo. Any recommendations?
Scared and lonely
Hi everyone, I was diagnosed about 2 weeks ago. I have cancer in both my left breast and the main lymph node under the armpit. It has been a hell of a last 9 months. While on a holiday in Thailand with my husband for my 60th birthday, he told me that the spark had gone. One month later he said he wanted a divorce. Five months later I was diagnosed. It has been three weeks since the tumors were found and still waiting for scans. Hopefully tomorrow at my first oncology appointment. I am living in the family home with my husband (who I love still) in the bedroom downstairs and one of my daughters. This whole situation is so hard to accept. A regular ultrasound showed a cancer that had progressed beyond the breast. It makes me wonder why they aren’t yearly.
