Forum Discussion

fangirlyness's avatar
2 months ago

Papillary Lesion - overwhelming anxiety

Hi Everyone,

Sorry if this isn't the right place for this post, but I'm feeling overwhelmed and very alone right now. I have been a member here for 13 years and it's crazy to think that it was initially to help support my mum with her breast cancer.

Now, here I am with my own possible issue...

My mother developed her breast cancer (stage 2c) at age 46, the same age I am now. She's alive and well after treatment (partial mastectomy and hysterecotomy), but it's also meant that I get my boobs checked regularly via mammo and/or ultrasound. This year, they found a 'papillary lesion or complex cyst' - that's what it says on my GP's referral for me to get another U/S and a core biopsy if needed. 

I mean, it's hard to NOT know someone who's been through a breast cancer journey these days. There are so many women who've experienced it. I've always felt like my turn was just around the corner.

What's probably made me even more anxious is that my dear cousin is battling Stage 4 MBC and I've been in contact with her frequently to try and support her. She and I are in very similar circumstances (ie. living alone with kids) so I can't help but feel very deeply for her. I think holding that emotional space has done a number on me...

Compounding the issue is that I have pretty severe PTSD which I've got under control for years now, but suddenly I'm having panic attacks and struggling to do even the most basic tasks. I have no idea what I'll be like when I get the results of the second scan/biopsy.

I live alone with my 17-year-old (who has special needs). Frankly, I'm terrified and the fear is paralysing me. GP is urging me to make mental health appointments to get it under control. What will happen to my child if I get sick? 

Sorry for the ramble. Any advice or wisdom would be so appreciated. I feel better just making this post.

Thanks,

Effy.

2 Replies

  • It sounds like a very anxious time. I guess when we only have a part of the information with more tests or analysis to come then we do tend to think the worst. Personally I did find that putting aside my thoughts until I got results to be helpful - it doesn't mean it goes away - I said to myself I'll just deal with the results later, when they come through. 

    And yes, I'd suggest taking up the counselling/psych route. I have found this helpful in tackling a range of issues and it can feel less lonely.....

  • So sorry to see you posting here, Effy fangirlyness​ and that you are distressed re the possibility of getting a BC diagnosis :( ....
    If you'd like to chat to someone about it, give our help line a call on 1800 500 258 (Mon-Fri, business hours.) 

    Getting a 'call back' from any BC Mammogram/Ultrasound is always a  scary thing .. but try not to overthink things - don't get ahead of yourself.   All going well, the ongoing test/biopsy will show as being a cyst or necrotic tissue ..... 
    Likewise, all going well, your child won't get sick & everything should be fine xx 

    Without prying, I am wondering if you may be of an age where you may also be experiencing menopause symptoms? Which can also manifest in similar 'feelings' .... 

    I hope you can see a counsellor soon, to allay your fears xx  Try & keep yourself 'busy' doing things you love doing.  It is a way of keeping your mind busy on 'other things' as worrying about what 'may happen' can just cause more distress.

    Also, try Staying in 'the present' (also called Mindfulness) as it may help lessen your stress....
     
    Mindfulness is a mental state of being present and fully aware of one's thoughts, feelings, and surroundings without judgment. It's a way of paying attention to the present moment, which can be through techniques like meditation, breathing exercises, and yoga. Mindfulness can help reduce stress, improve focus, and promote emotional regulation. 
    Check out this video - it may help you 'try it'.
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=svVDEkBQxpU

    Take care & all the best and all the best for your results xx