Stress ten fold

I got 21 lymph nodes out on Tuesday last week and they were all negative  oh my word  the pain was  so bad but l got good pain killers  which are working well . I am so anxious about the porta carth as well and chemo starts next week. There are times l ask myself why but have no answer . i am starting to have sleepless nights and l have been bad went on dr Google , never again . too many emotions in my head and an overactive imaginations . I cut all my hair due to wanting to gain some control . I do self talk so much its getting weird but this helps me a lot l tell myself that l am climbing a mountain, l am aiso  super anxious about how the chemo will treat me .