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Friends say the dumbest things



  • MiraMira I live in my computer .... Member Posts: 678
    @StarGirl my Mum had a weird reaction as well.  She actually followed me to the clinic, and then the day after she found out she was on the phone with my Aunt (who had just been diagnosed with lung cancer) laughing about how I had to keep taking my top off and showing people my breasts.  I was devastated.  It took me a few years but I worked out that it was because she was scared of not being in control, and of losing both her daughter and her sister.
  • traveltexttraveltext Member Posts: 203
    Here’s the official list of dumb things to say to a bc patient. 

  • Cath62Cath62 Brisbane Member Posts: 81
    I hear you @traveltext! I now have actually had someone say with about my surgery before results of it- "well it's temporary. They will sort it out and then fix the other one and you will have a boob job. Wish I could get one. I am actually jealous"  I just changed the subject. I get my results this afternoon so will soon know next steps. 

  • traveltexttraveltext Member Posts: 203
    Ha, @Cath62  but not really funny.

  • ddonddon Member Posts: 326
    Ignorance is really not an excuse, is it! 
    When I was facing my first chemo and so afraid of what was coming, my very close cousin told me ‘oh, it will go so fast ‘. I didn’t answer but I thought time goes fast when you’re having fun. 20 weeks of chemo is not my idea of fun!
  • Cath62Cath62 Brisbane Member Posts: 81
    @ddon yes I understand this. I got advised my recommended  treatment is chemo, radium and hormone. I was told to right the year off and lots of people have to deal with it. 
  • ddonddon Member Posts: 326
    It sure makes you grit your teeth and count to 50. Writing the year off is only easy for people who think they have plenty of years left. And don’t have to spend it being ‘chopped, poisoned and nuked’ as kezmusc
    so beautifully said in one post. 
  • Cath62Cath62 Brisbane Member Posts: 81
    @arpie I am Australian born. One of my friends in London, an Aussie girl said she was sending positive juju to me and I liked the sound of it.  I have been to parts of Africa. Oh how I loved safari. Bit of an Out of Africa fan and I had my 50th birthday celebration on safari and then married my Hubble (a Scottish Aussie man) on the beach in Zanzibar in 2012. He had tonsil cancer and had surgery and radium about 12 yrs ago. He is doing great. Appreciate advice and yes will do my best to let this silly friend stuff go. Seem a meaningless in comparison to everything else. Also I totally agree this is the best support for me. Everyone here is great. 
  • arpiearpie Mid North Coast, NSWMember Posts: 4,161
    WOW! You are well travelled @Cath62 !!   I loved Out of Africa too - did you read the book?  I bawled in some bits!  What a romantic wedding in Zanzibar!  It is supposed to be the most gorgeous spot!  So glad to hear that hubby recovered well from his surgery & treatment, as did mine (tho he now has dementia which is a bit of a bind! :( )

    There was one thread started 2+ years ago about the stupid things people say - it probably had 20 pages of comments .....  I just can't find it - maybe someone else will remember it & have a link to it - in it's own way, it was quite hilarious!?

    @Locksley - I hope you are recovering well from your surgery xxx

  • Giovanna_BCNAGiovanna_BCNA Administrator, Staff, Member, Moderator Posts: 1,698
    Hello @Locksley I hope you are recovering well post surgery.
  • Keeping_positive1Keeping_positive1 Member Posts: 96
    edited May 22
    @Locksley I hope your surgery went well and you are being looked after well.

    @Cath62 unfortunately some people are just like that.  I had a friend give me a journal to write in, I took that as, hey I don't want to hear about it, just write in your journal.  Whether I am right or wrong in my assumptions I won't know, but I know how it made me feel at the time. 
    Take care of YOU, if there is ever a time to put yourself first, then a cancer diagnosis is the time.  
  • Cath62Cath62 Brisbane Member Posts: 81
    @arpie travel has been my life passion. I started travelling at 17.  My dad bought a map of the world for me when I was 21. Since then every trip (about 50 countries) I have done is marked out on the map. It hangs on my dining room wall. I said at 21 I didn't want a boring life 😀😀😀. Little did I know that no life is boring. 

    I h ave read out of Africa and seen the movie many times. I went to Karen Blixen's house and it was just like the movie. I went to a safari camp in the masai nara named after her. Here was the real treat....when we flew out of there from a tiny out back airstrip my husband put ear phones in my ears. He had recorded the sound track from the movie for me to listen to as we flew out of Kenya. Now tears flowed but it was just so perfect. We flew from there to Nairobi and then Zanzibar with its perfect white sand and azure blue water. I was on cloud 9 or 10 or something.

    @Locksley I hope you are ok. Thinking of you.
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