The New Me.



  • Sister
    Sister Member Posts: 4,960
    Good news!
  • Elizebeth
    Elizebeth Member Posts: 80
    Yes AllyJay it’s just astoundingly trivial and I just can’t seem to tolerate it at the moment...after 2 rounds of this beast I often want to scream at the top of my lungs to some of them to stop sweating the small stuff in life it’s just futile..anyway hopefully I have a job Monday...until I do something else!, next spaceship to the moon maybe!,
  • Sarnicad
    Sarnicad Member Posts: 318
    @Elizebeth sounds like my staff atm. If they keep it up I’m slapping their heads together. I told my boss last week that I think looking your mortality in the face changes the way you think and you have no time for fools!  My staff are being particularly stupid currently which is annoying the crap out of me. If someone came to my office to complain about how someone looks at them I’d have told them to grow up or go back to primary school
  • Elizebeth
    Elizebeth Member Posts: 80
    Yes indeed Sarnicad they are just petty issues..on the positive I had my birthday today which at one point was something that I was not sure would happen!, I also had a 3 month checkup last week and all ok so I spend my time feeling very blessed to be here and then swing in back to wanting to kick some butt...just going to let my mind and emotions settle then work through a new career path...
  • Riki_BCNA
    Riki_BCNA Staff Posts: 323
    Hi@Elizebeth that is good news with your recent check-up and a very happy birthday to you! Be kind to yourself and take care of you -one day at a time
  • rose
    rose Member Posts: 34
    This thread is very helpful. And all the best to those awaiting results...I too can't be bothered socialising with people who aren't close friends/colleagues. I'm also tired of the 'how are you?' question. I've been honest with people and tell them I feel like s**t, am not doing well etc. Those who aren't close to me just stare, get embarrassed and change the conversation or move on. Oh well. One of my best friends who lives in a different state could only bring herself to text me a few times throughout this whole ordeal - no phone calls at all. She even didn't bother to ask me about my test results and whether the cancer had spread until a good 10 days after I got the results. Now I'm going through rads, have been for the past 3 weeks - not a peep from her. Looks like my new normal is spending more time with those who have shown they care, and letting her go...Thanks, hope I haven't hijacked this thread. 
  • arpie
    arpie Member Posts: 7,565
     @rose It is heartbreaking when 'friends' don't support you - it really hurts.   It has happened to many of us.  Maybe they are scared of saying the wrong thing, so they say nothing.  Maybe they think it is 'catchy' - so stay away.  It happened to my husband with one of his best friends, when he was diagnosed with stomach cancer - I think the friend just found it so confronting that this incredibly fit guy was suddenly struck down with a life threatening disease - and HE just couldn't cope with it.  There's no telling who will support you & who will drop off your radar - and you don't forget it either! 

    As @Elizebeth says above - our tolerance for others whinging about minor stuff, when we are going thru major stuff ... is totally gone!  It is like SHUT THE F**K UP!   I also can't be bothered socialising much either - tho made myself attend a couple of outings over Xmas/New Year (and DID enjoy myself!)

    I must remember "As good as can be expected", @kmakm - a good response.

    Take care, Rose - try not to overthink it - no-one really knows how anyone is going to react in a crisis, until one happens.  We know that WE just have to step up to the plate & get on with it tho!  xxx

  • Flaneuse
    Flaneuse Member Posts: 899
    @Vallerina Thank you so much for this honest and open expression of your experiences. It provides food for thought. xx
  • iserbrown
    iserbrown Member Posts: 5,552
    edited January 2019
    Well said! Everyone copes differently! 
    I've said previously I lost a friend of 40 years over this. I knew who she was and accepted her warts and all. Very much look at me personality and I would spend countless hours pulling her out of the doldrums and making her laugh.
    When I was diagnosed it became intense as she wasn't happy with my choice of breast surgeon.  I said to her he's made me feel comfortable and confident and I trust him but no she wasn't happy. Mind you she has never met him and has never had BC. I said what do you want me to do go through the yellow pages!! She visited once in hospital and complained about my room so we went to the cafe to keep the peace!
    This was one time it wasn't all about her and she couldn't cope. Haven't seen her for near on 3 years and I have to say I don't miss her as the fact that the friendship was very much one way became obvious. She did visit at home once when I was discharged. We live at altitude and she said who would live here as it was an October low cloud day with the wood fire going and not a shopping centre in sight. We've lived here for years and she's visited but never did I know that was her attitude. Breast cancer sorts out all sorts for us!
    Sad initially but content she's in the past.

    Take care 

  • Vallerina
    Vallerina Member Posts: 183