Night Howls
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@kmakm Yes Kate - I've always found calming the process of writing down my feelings. And it was one of the things that distressed me most all this year - and as the year went on, more so - that I was afraid to start writing, because I was afraid I wouldn't be able to find any words. And that fear was cruel, for someone who had been a professional writer for so long. I finally managed to write a couple of pages - about six weeks ago, I think, at the time when I was in a deep pit and that was when my rads oncol referred me to the psych.
I'm tired, but went to bed about 10 pm and couldn't sleep. Probably my own fault because I felt like drinking last night and had two glasses of red - the first time I've done that since before chemo. Got up and have been watching TV - now watching the doco on Richard Flanagan produced some time ago, obviously, because it talks about him winning the Booker "last year". About half an hour ago my foob started stabbing - sharp stabs that really hurt, about every 10-20 seconds, in the same spot about 3 cms left of where my nipple used to be. Really odd. I've had it before but usually it's just several stabs and stops. This has been going for more than 30 mins. The only thing I can think of is that I spent about 20 mins this afternoon pushing my grandson on the swing, with him saying "higher!", so I was stretching quite hard. Very ouchy.
I'm a bit concerned about this latest research publicised over the past few days on textured implants (and other medical devices). I'm going to ask the question when I go back to the breast unit next Monday, to have the 50 mls of saline they took out before rads put back in.
I've let this post sit for a while and went back to the doco. It's nearly an hour now and the stabbing is still going on. Bugger! Eyes very tired. Must go and try to sleep. xox0 -
Flaneuse please get it checked out ..... like Romla says it could be nerves reknitting but best to be sure.0
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@Romla and @SoldierCrab Thank you for that advice. I didn't realise pain could be a side effect of radiotherapy.1
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@Flaneuse .... sorry to hear about the pains - I hope they don’t come back like that again for you!
Funny ... mine started again up again last week after months of none. Really sharp stabbing pains ... I actually grabbed my boob at one stage to stop it! It didn’t last as long as yours did tho, thank goodness!! When I had the US on Friday, I mentioned it and she reckons rads doesn’t cause it!! Whatever caused it ... I am glad it stopped. I DID have it happen during rads, so always assumed it caused it, as I didn’t have it after surgery.
Re the wine .... I water my red down almost 50% ... I still get the flavour and enjoy it but it doesn’t affect my sleep ... and no hangover!
take care, hope you sleep better tonight xx0 -
I've had some real foob clutching doozies in the last week too. So random.0
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@arpie and @kmakm The stabs come and go from time to time but this was the first time it's lasted so long. Definitely clutching time. I asked about it when I had deflation of saline at end of Aug, in prep for rads. The doctor just said "Mm I don't know why that would be." Mm.
To GP this morning - I have cellulitis in my arm. I guess that's one reason I've been feeling "off". ABs.
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@Flaneuse hope you have a better night of it tonight
well after weeks of good good sleep I had a doozy the other night which I’m still feeling the side effects of now amazing how bad you can feel with interrupted sleep I’d nearly forgotten
to top off the bad night I am into my last week of radiation (only 4 boosts to go now) so am completely knackered and generally can sleep at the drop of my head to a pillow so the bad night was a surprise. Also have the hottest itchiest boob out. Currently laying on my bed with a cold flannel(well it was when I started) on the boob and in my underarm trying to take some heat out of it. Great look
off to moisturise yet again and then some sleep hopefully0
