Friday Funnies

Afraser

Thanks @Romla

I recall Jeff Kennett once talking about the importance of pottery when he was opening a poetry event! He was never really convincing about the arts - bit like Trump, he was only interested in things that were the best or the biggest! 

Romla

Or football @Afraser

Afraser

To be scrupulously fair, I don’t recall ever hearing him talk football when he was Arts Minister. A lot of other things, sometimes fascinating, sometime strange but happily (for me, I’m a footbrawl and thugby girl!) never football. 

arpie

Haha .. don’t fall for this trick question ....

arpie

It's been a really really tough year for many - with Covid on top of it all ..... we really DO need a laugh!

10 Points to ponder as 2020 draws to a close ...

1.   The dumbest thing I ever bought was a 2020 planner.

2.   2019: Stay away from negative people.

      2020: Stay away from positive people.

3.   The world has turned upside down. Old people are sneaking out of the house & their kids are yelling at them to stay              indoors!

4.   This morning I saw a neighbour talking to her cat. It was obvious she thought her cat understood her. I came back to             my house & told my dog..... . . we had a good laugh.

5.   Every few days - try your jeans on just to make sure they fit. Pyjamas will have you believe all is well in the kingdom.

6.   Does anyone know if we can take showers yet - or should we just keep washing our hands?

7.   I never thought the comment, “I wouldn’t touch him/her with a 6-foot barge pole” would become a national policy, but            here we are!

8.   I really need to practice social-distancing - from the fridge.

9.   I hope the weather is good tomorrow for my trip to the garden. I’m getting tired of the living room.

10. Never in a million years could I have imagined I would go up to a bank clerk with a mask on and ask for money.

arpie

arpie

Bloody Check Out Chicks .... ooops - that was ME!

arpie

Hahaha

arpie

Blossom1961

Raich

This is actually my teenage son... my husband does everything (I don’t!😬)

arpie

OMG ... I nearly spat out my coffee!  HahHa

arpie

To be sure, to be sure!!

ChezaH

arpie said:

To be sure, to be sure!!

agree

Romla

What Makes  100% _?_

What does it mean to give MORE than 100%?

Ever wonder about those people who say they are giving  more than100%?

We have all been to those meetings  where someone wants you to give over  100%.

How about achieving 103%?

What  makes up 100% in life?

Here's a little  mathematical formula that might help you answer these questions:

If:

A B C D E F G H I J  K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z

Is  represented as:

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14  15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26.

Then:

H-A-R-D-W-O-R-K

8+1+18+4+23+15+18+11 =  98%

And:

K-N-O-W-L-E-D-G-E

11+14+15+23+12+5+4+7+5 =  96%

But:

A-T-T-I-T-U-D-E

1+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 =  100%

And:

B-U-L-L-S-H-I-T

2+21+12+12+19+8+9+20 =  103%

AND, look how far ass  kissing  will take you: 

A-S-S-K-I-S-S-I-N-G

1+19+19+11+9+19+19+9+14+7  = 118%

So, one can conclude  with mathematical certainty, that while:

HARD WORK and KNOWLEDGE WILL GET YOU CLOSE, AND ATTITUDE WILL GET YOU THERE,

ITS THE BULLSHIT and ASS KISSING that will put you over the top.