What the ?

[Deleted User]

For the last 5 to 6 weeks I have been experiencing back pain, in my neck, beneath my shoulder blades, and in my low er back. Had 2 appointments this week, the discharge appointment with my rads oncologist, and then my medical oncologist. This pain is worse in my neck, and it wakes me at 3am, then Im on the couch with nurofen and tiger balm being my friends.
My rads oncologist said that I should have a bone scan next week and that he would ring me next Friday, giving me a cuddle. What the....... Then came the medical oncologist appointment, who agreed with my rads doctor, he ordered some blood tests, and said that he will ring me on Thursday.
You know me, miss sunny and miss motivation. What the.....?  I had a little cry in the last appointment, as my wonderful hubby stated how tough I was, and when I did cry, he said Trace is a positive one, she'll get on with it, then..... I didn't know it worried you so much.... What the.....? 
So..... now where I thought it was side effects from Arimidex it could be something else is very scary until I know the results. My medical oncologist said that there are a number of options available in treatment if it is a recurrence. He was so kind and had picked up that I was concerned.
Holy ######## What the.......... Here I am, poking along, getting ready for an art exhibition and this has been a week that has taken my breath away. I don't normally vent, so thanks for being there.
Cuddles, Trace xxx

Zoffiel

Good luck, Trace. This shit is yet another reason no-one wants this disease. Between worrying that the crap is back and dealing with the 'known unknowns' of drug side effects it's a wonder any of us function at any level. 
It just makes it worse, in some perverse way, when they are nice to you.
Best wishes. Marg

brightspace

Hi Trace ..really feel for as i have gone through this as well...life is a shit when we have to wait to know the crazy outcome..i hope it is not the big M just bone degeneration from treatment. Healthy vibes xo B

[Deleted User]

Zoffiel said:

Good luck, Trace. This shit is yet another reason no-one wants this disease. Between worrying that the crap is back and dealing with the 'known unknowns' of drug side effects it's a wonder any of us function at any level. 
It just makes it worse, in some perverse way, when they are nice to you.
Best wishes. Marg

Thanks Marg, in one way I'm grateful that I have so many people on my side. I'm a private person, so the only people that know are my husband and my kids until we know more. I'm usually the one supporting others, organising the monthly support group, and ringing newly diagnosed people in my small community to make sure they are okay. I am highly aware that it does affect those around you, so don't want to make a mountain out of a molehill until it is clear what is happening. However it is stressful, and I will feel better when I know the deal and what options are available to me going forward. At the moment, Smiley Girl is still forging forward but putting up a good front. However I am now flying like a wounded bird.
Youre awesome, thanks heaps, Trace xxxx

Nadi

Oh Trace WTF**** indeed! What a worry!!! It might still be something other than a recurrence. Fingers crossed that it will be ok. Please let us know. HUGS HUGS HUGS

[Deleted User]

brightspace said:

Hi Trace ..really feel for as i have gone through this as well...life is a shit when we have to wait to know the crazy outcome..i hope it is not the big M just bone degeneration from treatment. Healthy vibes xo B

Thanks Honey, look I know that none of us get out of this thing alive, and you're right.....life is a shit when you have to wait. I was aware that chemo had blessed me with with osteoporosis in my hips and lumber spine. Alrighty then, I won't hop skip or jump for a while, and that's perfectly fine. 
However when they give you a cuddle and be kind it is a concern. I even told my hubby not to be kind to me, as it makes me cry more. Am I trying to be too tough ?

[Deleted User]

Nadi said:

Oh Trace WTF**** indeed! What a worry!!! It might still be something other than a recurrence. Fingers crossed that it will be ok. Please let us know. HUGS HUGS HUGS

Thanks Honey, bloody hell..... I feel like a 4 wheel drive stuck in the mud. The wheels are going round but I'm going nowhere. I suppose it's yet another case of teaching you patience while you freak out. Thanks so much for the hugs xxx

[Deleted User]

Nadi said:

Oh Trace WTF**** indeed! What a worry!!! It might still be something other than a recurrence. Fingers crossed that it will be ok. Please let us know. HUGS HUGS HUGS

Thanks Nadi, fingers are crossed, along with toes, hair strands, legs and arms ! I will let you know when I know. This is such a great space to scream. Thanks for the hugs, cuddles right back xxx

iserbrown

Goodness that is just not on. Here's hoping the cart is before the horse heading in the wrong direction and it's side effects only. Trace hope you're able to lose yourself in your painting until the results are in.
Sending you a virtual hug take care from Christine xx 

[Deleted User]

iserbrown said:

Goodness that is just not on. Here's hoping the cart is before the horse heading in the wrong direction and it's side effects only. Trace hope you're able to lose yourself in your painting until the results are in.
Sending you a virtual hug take care from Christine xx 

Cyber hug received, and sending one right back. It's lovely to know you are there.
Trace xxx

primek

Fingers and toes crossed it is nothing more than darn osteoporosis causing issues  (which is sh!te anyway) know we are here and got your back and breath holding with you. Kath x

[Deleted User]

primek said:

Fingers and toes crossed it is nothing more than darn osteoporosis causing issues  (which is sh!te anyway) know we are here and got your back and breath holding with you. Kath x

Thanks Kath, have started a new painting, and it is a distraction. Sometimes, I'll paint a bit and walk a bit, and that helps. What can you do, just get on with it and forge on with a smile.
Cuddles, Trace xxxx

nikkid

Sending you a big virtual hug @Tracey B - this is scary and of course it can throw you. Thinking of you and sending love. Nikki xxx

[Deleted User]

nikkid said:

Sending you a big virtual hug @Tracey B - this is scary and of course it can throw you. Thinking of you and sending love. Nikki xxx

Thanks Nikki, you're lovely thoughts really help, Trace xxx

nikkid

@Tracey B I can remember when I first came onto the network, your lovely comments were so positive....I just lurked quietly in the background. We are now here for YOU. Please let us know how you go. You are special. xx

[Deleted User]

nikkid said:

@Tracey B I can remember when I first came onto the network, your lovely comments were so positive....I just lurked quietly in the background. We are now here for YOU. Please let us know how you go. You are special. xx

xxxx