Overwhelmed

Hi @Gin1966,
Your feelings of all consuming worry are normal. Being a planner will be useful. I always requested copies of all of my test results. My mind would race until I fully understood my situation. Only then could I feel somewhat in control. I don't know how some patients are happy to go with the flow and just trust in the 'experts'. Lucky I did insist on keeping track as, in my experience of the public health system, I have had to remind the oncologist of my case every time I see her! (obviously not time to read the file or prepare for appointment). Keep planning! 

It will take time, but you will feel more normal again. <3

Everything you described is also how I felt. As said above 👆🏻, being a planner will be in your favour if you ask for all results and ask to be informed enough so you can be involved in all the decisions. And please remember, most of the time the situation is not as scary as we have imagined it. But don’t expect to feel like you’re in control of everything, cos that could be part of the problem. Just trust that your medical experts will do their best to help you, but also trust your own body and mind. 

Hi @Gin1966,

Sorry to hear of your diagnosis.  

All of us can empathise. The first few weeks are stressful and scary. After my first week i felt sick of people poking and prodding and i wanted action but i was terrified too. The wait for surgery seemed endless and this hieghtened the sense of panic.

Not sure if this helps but i felt enormous relief after surgery because we were finally getting on with something concrete. Hopefully you will too. Things will start to get planned out and you will get on with the business of getting well and caring for yourself. 

I think most people start to come to terms to a degree as you go along. 

The best thing is to try to take one step at a time, worry about what is happening at each stage. Look after yourself, be kind to yourself.

M

Dear @Gin1966,

for your upcoming surgery
from jennyss in Western NSW

Hi @Gin1966

Welcome to the club that no-one wants to join .... ask away any question that you want here & you'll get an honest answer.

Yep, It's a real train wreck to start off with - plus the shock of diagnosis as well .... we've all been there, so 'we get it' - sometimes, family & friends 'don't'!  🙁  They think that just because you've had your surgery & radiation, that your are 'finished' and 'OK' - and it  is not always the case - it can take a few years before you 'find yourself' again.   I found it mucked with my brain much more than I expected ....

That is terrific that you've spoken with the psychologist already, to give you coping mechanisms, as your emotions & feelings may well sway over the next couple of months - and years.

Try & get back into doing the things you love (as you are able to do so) or even try something 'new' - to give you the urge to get out & about ..... Yep - keeping busy is the trick, I find.  Don't be afraid to ask for help if/when you need it.

Try not to use Dr Google too much (difficult tho it is) as there is just so much conflicting information out there (and much of it is REALLY OLD & OUT OF DATE), and every BC case is totally 'unique' and it will only scare the pants off you!

As you haven't had your surgery yet, we have some posts here on what to take with you to hospital, to make it 'easier' on you.  
https://onlinenetwork.bcna.org.au/discussion/16442/prep-for-surgery/p1

And for your appointments & annual checkups, here are some ‘tick sheets’ to help you put your questions together for your medical team.  (Make sure you click on the documents at the BOTTOM of the post, as the others are only sample pages.)
https://onlinenetwork.bcna.org.au/discussion/21973/questions-to-ask-post-surgery-of-yourself-to-your-specialists-tick-sheets-self-assessment/p1

We have lots of different areas here that you can check out too - some for a laugh, some for showing off your art & crafts ... 

https://onlinenetwork.bcna.org.au/discussion/19116/friday-funnies#latest
or some wise words
https://onlinenetwork.bcna.org.au/discussion/20854/wise-words#latest
 ..... you can show us how good you are at Art & Craft,
https://onlinenetwork.bcna.org.au/discussion/14979/creative-corner#latest
or show us your pets
https://onlinenetwork.bcna.org.au/discussion/15588/what-pets-do-you-have#latest
 & garden!  
https://onlinenetwork.bcna.org.au/discussion/comment/186078#Comment_186078
Or show us your quickest, easiest favourite meal ..
https://onlinenetwork.bcna.org.au/discussion/18971/what-are-your-easiest-tastiest-meals-quick-to-prepare-when-you-cant-think-of-anything#latest

So take care, all the best for your surgery (make sure you have a small pillow/cushion to hug on your drive home from the hospital!  Any jarring by hitting bumps can HURT!  Hugging the cushion can minimise this!  xx

Hi there @Gin1966, it is all such a shock isn't it. I think after I was diagnosed I cried for 2 weeks. It is a roller-coaster but you will get through it. Seeing a psychologist early is great. Good to have all the support props in place. It takes time to process it all.

 I am a planner too. I felt better once my surgery was done and the whole treatment plan was developed and I knew all the treatment I had to go through. I had surgery, chemo, radium, more surgery and now tamoxifen. I am now one yr and 2 months post my diagnosis. It was alot to go through but I am doing well and you will too. 

One step at a time. Stay as much as possible in the present moment. If you are into mindfulness it is good and so too is a bit of exercise, even gentle walks. Just do what you enjoy and please make yourself the priority.

 If you are like many others here we all looked after everyone else first and put ourselves second. Make all this treatment and getting well your number one thing. It was a change for me but it is better not just for me but everyone else too. 

Good luck, stay in touch as you go through this as we are all here to help. The people here are all just so amazing. Hugs 🌺

Hi @Gin1966, I know you don’t want to be here, none of us do, but we have all walked the path and hopefully we can help you along the way. I felt exactly like you in December 2019. @arpie has fabulous tips and advice. Great to hear you have spoken with a psychologist as it is so helpful to speak to someone outside your family and friends, somewhere you can be completely honest and open about how you are feeling. It is overwhelming and terrifying and a whole lot of other things, but take one minute at a time. You will get a plan and settle into it - sounds unimaginable, but you will absolutely get there. I had chemo, BMX, completed my reconstruction and back teaching. Take care, this time will pass. X

So much support and great suggestions right here.
Thank you so much, there are few ideas here that had not crossed my mind.
Will certainly trawl through those links suggested, thankyou @arpie
The only websites I look at are the ones suggested by my breast surgeon. 
Am very positive that I will kick this to the curb.
Thank you again

@annajjj your life is def put on pause. Right now the most important thing is beating this. Everything else can wait. But don’t forget to find joy too. Just because you’re fighting bc doesn’t mean fun has to be put on hold too. Have a bath, dance around the house, meditate, go for beach walks etc. You’ll still think about the ca, but you’ll feel a lot more relaxed, and your body will feel loved again and re-find its motivation for living.