Hi @Gin1966, I know you don’t want to be here, none of us do, but we have all walked the path and hopefully we can help you along the way. I felt exactly like you in December 2019. @arpie has fabulous tips and advice. Great to hear you have spoken with a psychologist as it is so helpful to speak to someone outside your family and friends, somewhere you can be completely honest and open about how you are feeling. It is overwhelming and terrifying and a whole lot of other things, but take one minute at a time. You will get a plan and settle into it - sounds unimaginable, but you will absolutely get there. I had chemo, BMX, completed my reconstruction and back teaching. Take care, this time will pass. X