Lobular breast cancer just diagnosed

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  • Cindi
    Cindi Member Posts: 137
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    Thanks Arpie, I'll try to work out how.
    Appreciate it  :)
  • Cindi
    Cindi Member Posts: 137
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    Well tomorrow is the day!

    I'm going into hospital early for bilateral mastectomy,  so the waiting's almost over.

    I'm madly cleaning and preparing for when I come home in a couple of days.

    I've come to terms with it all ....but don't know how I'll first react when I see myself in a mirror.
    I'm dreading it. :(
    Think I'll avoid looking for as long as I can.

    Did anyone else feel like this?

    I hope I'm strong enough to find it ok but I just don't know.

    Anyway the main thing is to get rid of the cancer, so will try not to worry about what can't be helped.

    At least the waiting is almost over.

    x

  • June1952
    June1952 Member Posts: 1,897
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    Yes, @Cindi, your feelings are the ones we all felt.  Keep thinking that the beast is gone, that is what I did too.  You may have an unexpected weep which comes out of the blue but you are allowed to let the tears flow.  A nurse told me they worry when someone does not cry.  Your breasts (or lack thereof) do not define you.
    All the best for tomorrow - you are stronger than you think.  💖
  • arpie
    arpie Member Posts: 7,801
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    You'll be fine, @Cindi ..... as @June1952 says, we all have those feelings xx  Absolutely, you are SO much more, than just your boobs ...  and the relief you will feel, knowing the cancer is GONE, is just amazing xx

    I wonder - did you take some 'pics' of yourself yet, pre 'op'?    I did!  ;) 

    Take care & all the best xx
  • Cindi
    Cindi Member Posts: 137
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    Hi June 1952 & Arpie, thank you so much for your kind words.

    Arpie I didn't take photos as my breasts look weird after the lumpectomies and where he cut around my nipples looks horrible as well. They are all misshapen and swollen bits still.

    It doesn't matter, I don't need a photo really.

    I will just have a cry and be done with it!

    thanks again 
    xx
  • GinGin
    GinGin Member Posts: 146
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    @Cindi, sending hugs and lots of love. Good to have a cry, I’ve cried on numerous occasions as well. It’s normal- that’s what my GP says anyway!

    🤗❤️

    Gin
  • Cindi
    Cindi Member Posts: 137
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    Thanks GinGin , it's kind of you, how are you going?
    x
  • arpie
    arpie Member Posts: 7,801
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    Oh gosh, you've both been thru the mill, @Cindi and @GinGin - but TERRIFIC that you can also comfort each other - which shows great compassion in you both xx.   

    Tears can be cathartic .... they can be angry tears, sad tears, happy tears ..... 'no reason' tears .... just let them flow.  As @June1952 said - they are more concerned when you DON'T cry! xx

    take care


  • GinGin
    GinGin Member Posts: 146
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    @Cindi, chemo is tough, I’ve just completed 4 dense dose of AC and in two weeks, will go to weekly Taxols chemo. The nurses have just proposed today that I have a PICC line as I have small veins.

    but when they asked a senior nurse to look for my veins, it literally took her only seconds to find one…through chemo, I know I have small veins, but I also believe it’s the skills of an experienced nurse who can feel where are veins(am I right? 😅
  • arpie
    arpie Member Posts: 7,801
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    @GinGin, I know that the local Onc Nurses were able (thru fund raising by 'friends of the hospital') to buy a 'vein finder'  - there is nothing worse than someone getting stabbed numerous times in an attempt to 'find a vein'.  It is amazing how some can find them 'easily' and with no pain - whilst others are butchers  :( 

    Check out the portacaths too ... ;) 

  • iserbrown
    iserbrown Member Posts: 5,604
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     they are more concerned when you DON'T cry! xx

    take care


    Don't necessarily agree!

    We're all different!

    The closest I got was slightly misty eyed as I waited in the holding bay!  A squeeze of the hand and the misty eyes were gone!

    Acceptance and trust is where I was at and still am!


  • Afraser
    Afraser Member Posts: 4,392
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    I agree with @iserbrown - not crying is normal too. I had about three snivels, at home in private, during treatment. I can sob through a sad movie but not about cancer, that’s just me. As for veins, I do wonder sometimes about training. I had only one arm that could be used because of lymphoedema, happily I had a senior oncology nurse who never failed, never needed two attempts and yet other staff would have me looking like a dot painting! They were all very attentive and thoughtful, the warm bath got pulled out a couple of times, but didn’t seem to know about using a smaller needle or using my hand (yes, I did tend to get a bruise but better than multiple punctures!). 
  • iserbrown
    iserbrown Member Posts: 5,604
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    I recently needed to present at the ED.  The nurse couldn't find the vein to insert a cannula.   She had one go and said I will ask for help.  They sent in the ultrasound expert and vein was located and cannula inserted without discomfort!

  • Afraser
    Afraser Member Posts: 4,392
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    Yep, I had a nurse who claimed she never failed, had three goes and then called an anaesthetist!