A tiny inflatable boat in a huge storm

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2

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  • Abbydog
    Abbydog Member Posts: 482 ✭
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    You seem to have a great sense of humour
  • Sister
    Sister Member Posts: 4,960 ✭
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    I can't help with any advice about a business but I guess it will depend on the potential for colleagues to help and flexibility, even if it's just flexibility for appointments.  
    As has been said, it's a suck it and see scenario.  I couldn't have worked productively but others are fine.  It's good to be able to use this time for planning if your brain will let you focus.  And don't be afraid to reach out for counselling if it gets too much.  For me, as for many, I coped okay for months until suddenly I didn't.
    Best wishes.
  • RiotAtMidnight
    RiotAtMidnight Member Posts: 35 ✭
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    Thanks @Sister - that is a good reminder to get some of that support in place. No doubt some grim days are ahead psychologically- it’s inevitable at some point. And that I can’t control or anticipate how this is going to be for me so I just have to accept that. 
  • Blossom1961
    Blossom1961 Member Posts: 2,375 ✭
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    @RiotAtMidnight I was only offered the herceptin so the extra drug might be a newbie. I was hormone -ve on both counts also, so no hormone blockers for me.
  • RiotAtMidnight
    RiotAtMidnight Member Posts: 35 ✭
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    Thanks @Blossom1961. It does appear to be relatively new and not available at all hospitals apparently. One week from diagnosis to chemo is one HELL of a ride, so I’m really grateful for all the advice and experience.
  • Cath62
    Cath62 Member Posts: 1,278 ✭
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    Hi @RiotAtMidnight,

    Great advice from everyone. It is a massive roller-coaster ride but you sound like you have all the skills and the right attitude to get through it. This group is so supportive and there is no judgement here which is great.

     I have some experience in balancing many things in very hard times however if you can put yourself first during treatment that would be a bonus for you. Actually you must put yourself first in this as you are the most important person in all this.

     My medical team all suggested to me that if I could exercise during treatment above all else it would help me get through it and it did. I didn't work at that time and I had a very supportive husband to help me too.

    What support do you have for helping at home or in your business? Can you draw on that support? Many people asked what I needed so if you have people who ask you what you need, don't hesitate to let them know. This is the time to make yourself the number one priority. Do whatever you need to get through it all. It may not mean letting your business go but without knowing what your business is it is hard to advise on that. 

    It can be overwhelming all this stuff. Consider mindfulness, mediation, nutrition, exercise and support including counselling. You will make it through it all. I have had surgery, chemo, radium and now the hormone suppression and i sm doing well. I have one more surgery next month but all good.

    Btw I really like your name riotatmidnight. That's how it is sometimes in this. Take care and let us know how it all goes.  Sending you a hug 🌷
  • Cath62
    Cath62 Member Posts: 1,278 ✭
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    @RiotAtMidnight i too always put others first my whole life but cancer has made me look deep and change and it is really for the better and it takes practice but practice makes perfect.  Think of it this way...  we have a bucket of giveness but if the bucket is empty because we don't care for ourselves then we can't give from an empty bucket. So keep your bucket full by filling it with all your needs first and only give from a full bucket. 😆🌷
  • Afraser
    Afraser Member Posts: 4,371 ✭
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    @RiotAtMidnight
    A psychologist in your armoury is a good idea and if you can’t do a bit of introspection at this time, when can you?  A very good counsellor introduced me to the idea of building energy when I was about six months into treatment. Expending energy? Sure! But building it? I had no
    idea. I am sure most are better at it than I was but the resulting change made a big difference. You can’t take money out of the bank if it’s not there in the first place. 
  • FLClover
    FLClover Member Posts: 1,535 ✭
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    @RiotAtMidnight what fantastic advice from the ladies above! 👏🏻. I see a common trend in these posts. We all have difficulty giving to ourselves first, if at all. There seems to be some shame or guilt in dedicating time and attention to ourselves. It’s almost unthinkable. And here we are, writing in a bc forum. 
    I think learning this new skill of self care and self love is pretty vital. As it was said, we can’t give if we don’t have. And it is def the perfect time to start unloading on a psychologist or counsellor. Mine helped me more than I could imagine, and I’m pretty sure you’ll find it very helpful too. 
    You’re doing well 😊♥️
  • Caz1
    Caz1 Member Posts: 382 ✭
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    Hi @RiotAtMidnight I love your name! Too funny! 

     I’m someone who had her “recon -at - the -same- time - as -surgery plans “thrown out the window due to STUPID covid but it turned out to be a blessing in disguise despite being annoying  at the time. I’m totally rethinking what I want to do re surgery.  What I’m trying not very well to say is try not to rush into decision making for non urgent things.  Your head spins at diagnosis and it’s hard to process everything at once. 

    Big hugs 
    Caz xxx
  • SK8
    SK8 Member Posts: 1 ✭
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    You're amazing. It'll all work out and it's normal what you're feeling. Once you start treatment you'll see how you'll feel and can make more decisions from there. Just stock up on food and frozen meals and Netflix. 

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