Feeling better than expected what now
Comments
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MicheleR
I am very happy that you are feeling better and can look forward at going back to work. You know your body better than anyone and give yourself enough rest in between work. All the ladies that responded to your post gave wonderful advice and genuine support which gives a person the boost to continue living despite BC. Like you, I had a discussion with my GP about my plan to go back to work. We put together a return to work plan and it is subject for review every month between my GP and I to ensure that I am coping. I started work early this month and 2 days a week to give me a feel on what I can cope with stress wise. OHH boy, I can't believe that by the end of the working day, my hands are tired, my eyes dry, my shoulders sore and I feel so drained. Despite ensuring that I get breaks when I feel tired at work. I realised that the more I push to get back to the way I was, the more I am undoing the good progress I made. So I made a decision to tell my GP on my next appointment with her that I am staying at 2 days work a week until I am comfortable to add extra day. Ensure your return to work plan is full proof and if you can make it specific so your manager will not second guess.
I have links about breast cancer and work that I found in BCNA that I have used when I was talking to my manager.
https://www.bcna.org.au/work-and-breast-cancer/
https://www.bcna.org.au/media/6810/bcna-fact-sheet-tips-for-managers.pdf
Please don't force it, if your body is saying no and take it slow. At the end of the day, YOU are the most important in these circumstances. Ohhh, also I told people at work that I no longer take Bullshit 😂 it worked! 😀but I don't know for long.5 -
Hi @Jen2019,
Thanks for those comments. Im with you on the no bullshit.
I got a lecture from some friends yesterday which whilst well intentioned was a bit full on. I think people bring their own baggage or fears about cancer to the conversation.
I think it wouldnt hurt to take a little more time. My kids started back at school and im doing school run. Yesterday i didnt stop appts till 4 pm and i think ive got full on appts till wednesday next week. I was craving a good sit down and time alone. I also want to make sure i get my exercise in.
It will come out in the wash.
Michele2 -
I was just thinking a few of us have been putting a bit of pressure on you to think more than twice about going back to work.
That's probably not very fair, given the 'everybody's different' thing that gets drummed into us through this whole cotton process. You should do what you want to, but please be kind to yourself because there are a great many shitheads out there who won't be all that considerate. Mxx3 -
Hi @Zoffiel, @Afraser
I think its fine for a balanced view. I feel a bit uncertain i suppose and i can look at it both ways. Its probably normal to feel a bit of anxiety around it.
I talked to my physio at the cancer service i go to about it this morning as she was asking how things were going. It seems i have very similar personality and drivers to her and i ended up having a little cry because she understood exactly. I can be a driven person but i recognise the triggers and need to stay clear of them at least in the short term. She said wisely i think, that if i want you work, work and if i dont , dont. She also suggested to see psychologist to get some strategies to say no.
As it happens i got an email from my boss this morning asking about a role they are discussing for me. I decided to be upfront about some of my future commitments to see if they can work around them. I can work from home most of the time and if i can get clearance to wear a mask i can go to some meetings on site. Im sure if this falls through they would find something else.
Im possibly nervous about being judged one way or another if i cant pull it off in the way i plan. I dont want full rush rush but i want to live a semi normal existence. Im 48 and have many years before retirement assuming i keep this disease at bay. I cant live thinking the worst.
Michele
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I am sorry if I've been adding to any pressure... You need to do what feels right for you.0
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Hello again @MicheleR. I agree with @zoffiel about not intending to make you feel pressured to not go back to work. I think the point was to think it through if you have doubts, and be clear with yourself and your boss about expectations. And to really think about what you’d like your normal to be, according to you. Whatever you’re happy with.But please, even if you go back and then see you can’t handle it as well as you thought, don’t worry about being judged. No one should be judging you in your position. No one should be judging period. If someone does judge, it says more about their personality than your competence. And that is none of your business. Your priority is making sure you’re ok, not what others think of you. And just to reiterate what I said above - the only one whose judgements should bother you, are your own. Ask yourself what bothers you more: your colleagues judging you, or yourself judging you? Are you worried that if you go back to work to feel normal, that it will backfire if you can’t attain it once again? And does that scare you? Do you think it will make you feel like you are def a sick and not so competent person after the bc?Sorry, I’m not suggesting anything. I’m just trying to help you gain clarity. I’m putting myself in your position, and these were the questions that came up.I hope you work it out and feel happy with your decision ♥️♥️2
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So this morning my daughter cried all the way to school. I pulled the car over and said whats wrong? Eventually she said her friend who she has all her classes with is away and a boy has been bitching behind her back that she is ugly and a lesbian. I said do you think you are ugly? She said no. I said well its noones business if you are a lesbian or not. The boy is probably not very smart and is trying to get good vibes in what ever way he can. She's 15.
What i really wanted to say is tell this kid to f*** off. (Sorry for language).
There is nothing like mother fierceness to bring clarity to my life.
And thats how i have to be for myself too. Unyielding in my support of me. I have to get to a place where if the situation isnt good enough then either change it or say bye bye. I tend to confront problems face first. I have really good skills, im capable and they can either use them and help me or i can share my skills elsewhere. It would be nice to have hair whilst doing all this but whatever. I just think my confidence needs a lift and i need to ensure i get it.3 -
I can never imagine why people say school days are the best days of your life - the uncertainty, the teetering, the agony! And I didn’t have the internet or social media. Good response, good thinking. Why wait till you confront something like cancer to learn how to plant your feet squarely and know your strengths?2
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👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻 I think you handled that situation superbly 👌🏻. Although I probably would’ve said tell him to f**k off first, then calmed down and said what you did.I’m glad it helped you see that you need to do the same for yourself. We all need a confidence boost sometimes. All of us.Your hair will come back, but even though it’s much easier said than done, having hair or not shouldn’t make you better or worse than the next person.Sounds like the tiger(ress) in you is starting to awaken 💪🏻😊3
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I agree, don't rush into it again. There is no way that I could have worked through it all, Rads is tiring it doesn't sound like it but it is every work day for the length of your treatments. I am on hormone tablets, and still could not work out why I am so tired. I asked my GP for blood tests, and now have to have an iron infusion on Monday, plus I am anemic, low zinc and vit D, so I guess this is why I am so tired. I will be glad to get back to having more energy.
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