What doesn't kill you makes you stranger. And strangely more able to cope.

Afraser · March 2020

I think it is grief. Not just for ourselves or family but the whole damn shebang. I’ve been without the cold feeling in the pit of the stomach long enough to know that it has returned! It’s also the contradiction. On one hand everything is normal - you’re in your home, doing normal things. Except of course it’s not. I’m reverting to my active treatment mantras - one day at a time, don’t fret about things that haven’t happened, don’t overthink.

Zoffiel · April 2020

Yep @Afraser The cold feeling is the thing.
Knowing what is happening in my head is helpful. Recognising the physical sensations and mental inconsistencies for what they are and knowing I have strategies to get back on track is some comfort, but I'm having a bit of a sulk over needing to pull all the tricks out of the box again.
Oh well, I'm in a very comfortable spot in the country, there is heaps to do if I can motivate myself and I'm spared what would probably be, for me, the impossible task of cohabiting while its all going on.
I had a good yell at the sparrows this morning for scratching around in my veggie patch. I even threw stuff at them. Something I wouldn't be able to do if I had to explain myself or apologise for being ridiculous while bellowing abuse at small birds.

iserbrown · April 2020

I do hope that you get your thoughts in a clearer space as the last thing you or any of us need is to relive where we have been with treatment and the emotional toil that had for some.

I am fortunate in that I live in a rural setting where there's plenty to do. I have entries to make for our Creative Arts Exhibition when that can be run in the future so now my entries are being done without time constraint.

Banging my head hard around the computer with differing programs that I need to update for work however that is mainly because I never grew up with a computer and all it's idiosyncrasies. New mobile phone and not all apps transferred, even though they were meant to, but feeling happy that I have been able to retrieve information that I thought I had lost.

As to the birds, the sparrows must be at your place, haven't seen them for awhile. We have honeyeaters turning themselves inside out devouring the fuchsias. Recently we buried our pet kangaroo, he adopted us after we think being kicked out of the mob, lived here for about 3 years and was no trouble, miss him greatly!

Deep breaths and as we settle into this new norm.

Please take care and best wishes to all

Afraser · April 2020

If bellowing at sparrows is the worst we do, we’ll be fine. Other half is washing the car, strange times indeed!!

Sister · April 2020

Recognise the stressed, clenched feeling..bugger!

Tinks · April 2020

Well I’m still in radiotherapy, (out of the mouths of babes) says daughter “ Well mum you are the only one of us that’s used to this- you have been like this for the last six months!” So there a silver lining if ever there was one....