Diagnosed 2 days ago



  • Zoffiel
    Zoffiel Member Posts: 3,374
    edited August 2019
    Hi @Caroline71 it's a mean roller coaster isn't it? Emotions flopping about all over the place is pretty much part of the ride--you don't get used to it, but you learn to deal with it. All in our own way. Cancer diagnosis is a wicked blow, but we all have our own methods of managing a crisis and you will probably surprise yourself once you process the shock.
    Yep, chemo, if you have to have it, is generally disgusting. And it's really inconvenient. Once you have a course of action you are likely to be busy enough to be distracted for hours or days on end which makes life strangely easier than those dark days when you don't know what is going on and have too many unanswered questions. You will be learning a whole new language and readjusting your concepts of time and personal space which are tough lessons. But it is interesting. 
    My advice is always to get a decent concertina folder and start documenting everything. Treatment is often complex and at the moment you probably think every little detail will be seared into your memory forever, but it's surprising what you forget and it's best not to rely on the system to 'remember'  for you. Get copies of all your test results and make sure you have names,  dates and times at your fingertips. Ask for cards so you have everyone's phone numbers and email addresses. It's busy work but can make the process smoother in the long run-- like any project that needs to be managed, the devil is in the details and it pays to be as organised as your temperament will allow. Hang in there,. Mxx
  • Caroline71
    Caroline71 Member Posts: 17
    Thank you Zoffiel for your kind words of support and advice.
    it really helps to hear from others who have been through it.
    i really do not know which I fear most the surgery or the chemo but I really hate feeling nauseous and unwell so I am really dreading that and all the other awful side effects.
    i am a bit of a sick at the best of times when it comes to being unwell or needles or anything like that
    I already have anxiety which was worsened by my fathers death from cancer but I am now being referred to see a psychologist for everything so hopefully that will help a bit.
    thank you once again and I look forward to speaking with you again hopefully xx

  • Zoffiel
    Zoffiel Member Posts: 3,374
    Chemo isn't like it was even a decade ago. Yes, there are wide effects but not everyone gets them and they are much better managed. I've had two chemo experiences a decade apart and I didn't chuck up once. Considering I get so carsick I can't travel in the back seat and the smell of anything really rotten makes me heave, I was pretty surprised about that.
    If you need chemo, it might be worth asking about having a port inserted. (It's ok to google stuff like ports, look  at technical stuff,  and don't get distracted )  For me, in 2016, that little box under my skin made the whole performance doable. My veins are so bad and I have developed a well deserved needle phobia so to know I wasn't going to spend months having people jab at me was a huge weight off my mind. 
    Surgery is not fun, but it's rarely as bad as you expect.
     I know, this stuff is challenging.  It's a shit of a disease, but we're living in the best place in the world if you end up with it. Keep a list of questions and keep plodding on. Mxx

  • Anne65
    Anne65 Member Posts: 425
    @Caroline71 So sorry to hear of your sudden diagnosis but you have found a bunch a new friends here who will support you, guide you & give you the best personal advice possible. No judgement here & you can vent all you like!
    I lost my mum when she was 46 y.o. to ovarian cancer & although I cant even remember her as I was only 3 when she died, my first thoughts were of her when I was diagnosed. I can only imagine you were feeling the same about your dad. Try not to compare as treatments progress so quickly these days it will probably be different to your dad's.
    The emotions, blurr of the past days must be overwhelming with appts to be made, decisions to be made & you left worrying about the What if's?? So much great advice so far that we give to the "newbies" but I will second a lot that has been given.
    Get a breast care nurse ASAP. Your new best friend. I can ask mine anything, stupid questions or otherwise & she will tell me what I should do unlike some medical professionals who will guide you to make your own decisions. Sometimes you just want black & white with no grey & for someone to make decisions for you!! Breast care Nurses are trained & can give you the best advice either personally, email or by phone.
    Get brochures & info  from BCNA & Cancer Council websites & also the doctors waiting room. Info is power & info from those resources are more appropriate than Dr Google!
    Take hubbie/friend/family to every appt for an extra set of ears as you will probably only hear half of it. Before you go, write down all your question & there are no silly questions if they are on your mind. Take notes or record the appointment.
    It's hard, but try not to overthink things...easier said than done. The goal posts change constantly so there is no use worrying over something that might not eventuate. Stress fuels cancer so dont over feed it with unnecessary worry. I worried about everything, as we all do. What surgery/treatment to have etc & most of what I worried about,  I didnt even end up having so that was a waste of my strength! Focus on what you do know & the next step, not what may happen.
    Be kind to yourself & take all offers of help/food etc. Look after yourself, breath & stay strong. We are all here with you. love & hugs xx
  • Kylie108
    Kylie108 Member Posts: 7
    First of all Big Hugs to you.
    This can be the scariest time. It was me in early March.

    Try to find out what kind of breast cancer you have ie Triole Negative, Her positive, oeastrogen  and/ or progesterone positive.  

    Lots of great I fo supplies already.
    Please know that most people do not die of breast cancer nowadays. 

    Thinking of you xxxx
    Kylie Brisbane North
  • Afraser
    Afraser Member Posts: 4,392
    Just to add to the blitz of information, like @Zoffiel, I was never sick through 6 months of chemo, never even felt sick and worked throughout. I lost my hair sure, but never felt fatigued or ‘ill’. I got some side effects, most people do, but not those ones and most of the ones I got from chemo were nuisance quality rather than major problems. I know it’s really hard not to worry about things ahead of them happening, we’ve all done it, but energy is what you need for this little circus and so save it for things that actually happen rather than might happen. A psychologist can be an invaluable help as the emotional
    can be just as difficult as the physical. And yes, if you dread needles, get a port! Everyone experiences that terrible ‘what if’ fear, but don’t let it rule your life. Even if we live to be 100, life is still too short to be ruled by fear. Best wishes. 
  • AllyJay
    AllyJay Member Posts: 955
    Hi there @Caroline71, welcome to the group that nobody joins voluntarily. Anyone who is not knocked for a six upon learning that they have cancer, would be a rare bird indeed. All of us here, young and not so young. Single and partnered, with and without kids, male and female, "get" it. When I was given a list of things to get before chemo, the first thing I purchased was a plastic bucket from Kmart for the anticipated puking. Well that bucket remains unused for the purpose and now lives a peaceful life as a laundry bucket. Never even had the collywobbles, let alone full on vomiting. Plenty of other stuff happened, but not that. I was diagnosed Grade 3 Stage 3 Triple Positive in 2016. Had AC chemo X 4 doses followed by Paclitaxol X 12 and Herceptin for a year. This was followed by bilateral mastectomy after chemo finished. Currently NED (no evidence of disease). Nothing else to add to the above posts from other members. Sending a big (((cyber hug))). Ally.
  • kmakm
    kmakm Member Posts: 7,974
    edited August 2019
    Felt mildly nauseous every now and then, gagged once, never vomited. These days you're unlucky if chemo makes you spew.

    It's a hard lesson to apply, but try not to cross bridges until you come to them, take it all one day at a time, one hour at a time if necessary, and don't grieve what hasn't yet happened. Cancer is a big teacher of staying in the moment. Biggest of hugs, K xox
  • Michele B
    Michele B Member Posts: 136
    Hi @Carolyn71, so sorry to hear of your diagnosis. Ypu have come to the right place for great advice, support and love. Every person on here has felt that same dread and anxiety you are currently feeling . I can't add any further advice but just wanted you to knowI am thinking of you and sending big hugs your way. Take care xxx
  • BlackWidow
    BlackWidow Member Posts: 268
    Hello @Caroline71.  I have been away for several weeks so am just catching up on old posts.  I see that you have not been on since your first posting and wonder how you are getting on. As newly diagnosed you are probably feeling frantic so I hope you are keeping in touch with some medical people who can help you.  BCNA ladies live all over the country so I hope you have managed to contact someone who lives near you. What area do you live in ?  Best regards Anne
  • Caroline71
    Caroline71 Member Posts: 17
    Hi Anne
    Thank you for thinking of me.I am hanging in there
    I have a MRI, CT and bone scan on Thursday so on Friday I should hopefully have the surgery and chemo/radiation dates,
    well at least I hope I will have a plan put in place for me
    The cancer is bigger than they originally thought ,over 5 cms and it is oestrogen and progesterone positive 
    That is all I really know at the moment
    I also have a mass on my ovary that I am awaiting the results for so I’m pretty all over the place at the moment
    The waiting is the worst 
    I live in Townsville but do not really know a lot of people 

  • Blossom1961
    Blossom1961 Member Posts: 2,430
    Hi @Caroline71 Hop on here as often as you like, even if only to vent. We are here for you as others were here for us. I consider this my family, and we welcome and support all who join. Big hugs. xxx

  • Caroline71
    Caroline71 Member Posts: 17
    Hi Blossom1961,
    Thank you 
    I will do,I think my biggest worry at the moment is what the chemo side effects are going to be like.
    I am terrified