diagnosed with breast cancer and pregnant
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Glad u r both doing well xoxoxo0
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It's hard enough with a preschooler and a baby - make sure that you take up ANY offers of help.0
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@Renny2819 if you ever beed to chat please feel free to get in touch.1
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great to hear you're going home today. Make sure you take up every bit of support offered. Thinking of you. Xxxxx0
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Hi there @Renny2819 so far such great advice and support from all the crew in our bc boat as always. such a relief you and Bub are safe and well after your surgery. Bc is an absolute arsehole of a thing that rears it’s ugly bloody head at the shittiest of times and it’s extra challenging when you are supposed to be celebrating the arrival of a new addition to your family. Keep us posted on the next step in your plan to beat this mother fucker. You can take a lot of strength from @Tennille and that gorgeous photo of her gorgeous boy. We will be here for you no matter what. Biggest hug. Margie xx3
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Hi, you are not alone... But it sure feels like it!My name is Jules. I am 33 years old, a lawyer, and currently work in an executive infrastructure management role. I am also a spouse to an Australian Army pilot. And to make all the more complicated, I am pregnant, and now have breast cancer.The past two years, I have been living in Darwin. My husband was posted there to command a Squadron of Tiger Helicopters. I managed to get an amazing job opportunity that I had been working for 15 years to get to.I loved that job and it was not lost on me that it was an amazing opportunity for someone so young. So much so that when my husband was posted to Canberra in Dec 2017, we decided to take the posting ‘unaccompanied’. That is Defence jargon for the spouse deciding to stay in one location whilst the military member moves to another. In our case, it was Darwin for me and Canberra for Joel. We are a seasoned military couple so were happy with our decision.Then in late Dec 2017, I found out that I was pregnant with our first child. We were very excited, albeit it changed our plans slightly and I intended to move to Canberra by Jun 2018. Shortly afterward, my mother was diagnosed with Stage IV gastric cancer.When I was 14 weeks pregnant, we got the news from our GP that I have Breast Cancer. Then we found out it was triple negative. Then we now know that it has metastasised to liver and bones.I am now 24 weeks pregnant, I have moved to Canberra to be with my family and have just had my 2nd round of chemo. I am starting to learn that my experience is in some ways very common and relatable (pregnancy is super weird!) and in others, fairly unique. In a matter of weeks I have had to transform from being a very successful, independent, high-flyer to someone that is dealing with cancer, pregnancy, end-of-life planning, family planning at the same time along with moving house and states and all the other normal challenges Defence spouses deal with.My prognosis is not great and being pregnant that has many emotional, physical and financial challenges. With the prospect of raising a child, the oncologist gave a us a good understanding of my likelihood of surviving the next 2 years. In some ways it was an act of mercy because we can plan. But knowing that my kid will never have a memory of me is really hard.I certainly go through emotions of feeling selfish and cruel to my family. I feel like I am the perpetually exploding bomb that is a constant never ending source for sadness amongst the people I love most. I can't make them happy like I used to, and I miss just being a normal human in a room. My mother is on a similar but very different journey. We can talk about some things but then I can get really overwhelmed by a thought of losing my mum, being a new mum with out my mum, or how lucky I was to have her as a Mum and knowing that I can't give that to my future kid.... the thought train just keeps exploding with guilt, shame and fear.
And then, for the most part, I have witnessed the most extraordinary acts of kindness and humanity. Strangers offering cooked meals, new mums offering Breast milk, my work gave me time off without even asking, health care workers going over and above to look out for me. My private obstetrician waived his entire fees, almost $6000 gift that we are very very grateful for. My girlfriends keep me laughing and check-in on me all the time. Boy, do I miss being able to have a boozy lunch with them!
So I guess I know how you feel. Being pregnant is emotional for anyone because it is a time of enormous change and ambiguity. I don't have any answers but it is comforting to talk about it occasionally. :-)1 -
@JulesD my heart breaks for you & your family
Your not alone when you have these wonderful women on here to hear you & offer their words of wisdom.
I'm just starting this shitful climb , just had a lumpectomy so I haven't much experience to share with you .
But breathe ! & One day at a time !
I lost my mum to cancer & can completely understand your feelings. I want my mum now !
Love , strength & power to you !
I wish you well
hugs xxxxx1 -
@JulesD. I can’t even imagine how u must be feeling - my heart absolutely breaks for u and your post made me cry - I feel so bad for you and so inadequate that all I can offer is my support, kind thoughts and big hugs xoxoxoxo2
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@JulesD Wow, I read your post with tears running down my cheek. I feel so guilty that i have been so lucky on my journey so far. Lumpectomy with clear margins & 4 weeks of rad. 2 weeks ago i had my ovaries & tubes removed after advice from my medical team as I lost my mum to ovarian cancer when she was 46 y.o. & she had it for 6 1/2 yrs. i was only 4 y.o. when she died & don't have any memory of her BUT my sister (7 y.o. then) & I were raised by my Dad (now passed away) & we have both turned out pretty good!! Yes, it is sad but the photos & stories we hear from family & friends about our mum make us realise how special she was & the best compliment I hear from people is when they say to me "i can see your mum in you" & I know that there will always be a part of her in me. My dear girl, i can't imagine your pain, grief & the feelings you will be going through but I know you will find some comfort & strength in the extraordinary women on this forum who are some of the most courageous people I know. Take advice from the many professionals, counsellors you will meet & the help from BCNA is incredible. I'm sure your family & friends will surround you with love, care & support & take any offers of help given to you as you will need it. Don't feel guilty about accepting a cooked meal from anyone as all they want to do is to be able to help you in any way they can. try to look after yourself as you have a wonderful gift of a child in you that needs your love. My heart goes out to you & please keep in touch on this forum as I know there will be many ladies who will want to help you in any way they can. i will pray for you & send you love & hugs. xxxx3
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@JulesD you have the world on your shoulders and I too have just burst into tears .... not that it helps you in any way. I feel flabbergasted and wish I could help, make better, but I guess that is not what you want to hear. Keep in touch and know that we are all thinking of you and wish the very best outcome. Take care . Hugs. Xxxxxxx2
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@JulesD There are no words adequate to say. You're right in that some of your experience is one shared by many of us but you're going through something that is so much harder. My only thought when diagnosed was that I needed 5 years to see my youngest through high school. I can't even imagine your feelings. My thoughts are with you and hoping for the best for you.2
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@Renny2819 and @JulesD As I read through your posts, pausing through tears I just want to say I am holding you in my heart, thoughts and prayers as you face unimagineable minutes, hours and days of uncertainty in ways that are unique to you.. May you both find strength and courage within the spirit of who you are. Big hugs. xo3
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hello JulesD & Renny2819
here is the link to the Young women's group
http://onlinenetwork.bcna.org.au/group/10-young-women
Soldiercrab2
