Feeling flat

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  • onemargie
    onemargie Member Posts: 1,264
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    We don’t speak to my husbands mother she’s a pain in the arse and has showed no support to me or my hubby so she’s off the Xmas card list permanently so don’t worry you’re not the only one love. Margie x
  • June1952
    June1952 Member Posts: 1,851
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    Hi @Hendrix
    I am on the PC late today but wanted to say you are being thought of.  "You can choose your friends but not your family" - and how right that is.  Like you, our family is not at all supportive - afraid they might catch the dreaded disease from me !  We are going to the home of a ''new'' friend who we met as she bought my car !
    As the others have said, do what YOU want to do.  Your daughter is old enough to make up her own mind and do what she wants.
    I reckon going to friends at Geelong is the way to go.  Down by the water - wonderful.
    Whatever you decide I hope it is a happy day for you.
    Summer   :)
  • primek
    primek Member Posts: 5,392
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    I just had a quiet Xmas with my boys and husband last year. It was very special...I was so grateful to be alive. We cooked different courses together so I wasn't alone in the kitchen. I think it is more special actually to take a moment and count your blessings. Perhaps a short visit in tbe afternoon or next day might suit you better. 
  • Milly21
    Milly21 Member Posts: 122
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    I think having cancer and treatment does sort people out for you,I also was disappointed a life long best friend was no support at all,said she found it all very hard for her,but it also bought forward people whom I didn't expect to supportive,mums from my kids schools and I have reconnected with a friend who I haven't seen for years and she is a new best friend now and has been great,I find my family aren't to good either but it's like they just think now treatment is over I should just get over it,that's why I have found this network so great because everyone understands,my parents just don't understand, sometimes I think they think I'm just a whiner ,I don't talk about it to them anymore.
  • Afraser
    Afraser Member Posts: 4,388
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    A positive note - I worried about telling my 89 year old mother, but I gave her a new lease of life. She wasn't able to do anything practical but her optimism and support was a very good thing. My daughter and partner were spookily prescient and rock solid respectively. You can't legislate for family support but it's really nice when you get it!!
  • [Deleted User]
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  • Hendrix
    Hendrix Member Posts: 324
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    @Joannie I hear you...I’ve decided to do what @Brenda5 does...show up for an hour or so...then go home and next year plan a holiday away
  • [Deleted User]
    [Deleted User] Posts: 0
    edited December 2017
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  • iserbrown
    iserbrown Member Posts: 5,554
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    It is about you and not all the drama!  Sad to hear that you were left to worry about how to get home from surgery - goodness families can be so thoughtless sometimes!
  • [Deleted User]
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  • iserbrown
    iserbrown Member Posts: 5,554
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    @Joannie counselling sounds like a grand idea!  Pent up hurt can manifest into an argument you never wanted to have!  Take care and enjoy your time and if you do end up with family, that's fine too but perhaps put in an appearance and make a polite exit!
  • [Deleted User]
    [Deleted User] Posts: 0
    edited December 2017
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  • Afraser
    Afraser Member Posts: 4,388
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    Stress may or may not be a factor in bc but it's not a good thing generally. Cancer can bring out a lot of stuff that otherwise gets buried. While having treatment, we are usually fully occupied (if not too tired to care). Afterwards there can be a bit of angst coming home to roost. Luckily I didn't have family matters causing distress, but I found counselling immensely helpful in sorting out my new normal. Your new normal would be very good if it cut out unhelpful stress so do give counselling a try. Think of it as training for a new role/life.
  • [Deleted User]
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