Feeling flat
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We don’t speak to my husbands mother she’s a pain in the arse and has showed no support to me or my hubby so she’s off the Xmas card list permanently so don’t worry you’re not the only one love. Margie x2
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Hi @Hendrix
I am on the PC late today but wanted to say you are being thought of. "You can choose your friends but not your family" - and how right that is. Like you, our family is not at all supportive - afraid they might catch the dreaded disease from me ! We are going to the home of a ''new'' friend who we met as she bought my car !
As the others have said, do what YOU want to do. Your daughter is old enough to make up her own mind and do what she wants.
I reckon going to friends at Geelong is the way to go. Down by the water - wonderful.
Whatever you decide I hope it is a happy day for you.
Summer
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I just had a quiet Xmas with my boys and husband last year. It was very special...I was so grateful to be alive. We cooked different courses together so I wasn't alone in the kitchen. I think it is more special actually to take a moment and count your blessings. Perhaps a short visit in tbe afternoon or next day might suit you better.2
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I think having cancer and treatment does sort people out for you,I also was disappointed a life long best friend was no support at all,said she found it all very hard for her,but it also bought forward people whom I didn't expect to supportive,mums from my kids schools and I have reconnected with a friend who I haven't seen for years and she is a new best friend now and has been great,I find my family aren't to good either but it's like they just think now treatment is over I should just get over it,that's why I have found this network so great because everyone understands,my parents just don't understand, sometimes I think they think I'm just a whiner ,I don't talk about it to them anymore.2
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A positive note - I worried about telling my 89 year old mother, but I gave her a new lease of life. She wasn't able to do anything practical but her optimism and support was a very good thing. My daughter and partner were spookily prescient and rock solid respectively. You can't legislate for family support but it's really nice when you get it!!2
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It is about you and not all the drama! Sad to hear that you were left to worry about how to get home from surgery - goodness families can be so thoughtless sometimes!0
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Stress may or may not be a factor in bc but it's not a good thing generally. Cancer can bring out a lot of stuff that otherwise gets buried. While having treatment, we are usually fully occupied (if not too tired to care). Afterwards there can be a bit of angst coming home to roost. Luckily I didn't have family matters causing distress, but I found counselling immensely helpful in sorting out my new normal. Your new normal would be very good if it cut out unhelpful stress so do give counselling a try. Think of it as training for a new role/life.1
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It's just another day. Until everything turns to shit--which has happened too many times for me to even contemplate spending it with people who rub me the wrong way.
I haven't had a 'proper' Christmas in nearly 20 years. It's worked out just fine. Late afternoon my local friends tend to drop around --"I'm just going to pop in and see poor Marg, she's on her own again' Once here they chug back a couple of gins, smoke the illicit ciggie that they have told their mother they have given up, vent furiously about what shits their family are then go home feeling much refreshed. I look at it as a public service
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