It's okay to be really sad

Lovely to see your smiling face again Tracey and reading your post. Thank you. 

Almost 12 months to the day I received the diagnosis of bc.  I'm having some tummy problems that the GP is investigating......and I think it's the first time throughout this damn order I felt really down. Yes I've had other 'off' days but today was different.

coming on here reading all the replies, well it really lifted me.  

Thank you all from the bottom of my heart for sharing your feelings and thoughts.

Anne-Marie ??

Hi Melinda and Tracey omg same same couldn't you whack them(not violent but frustrating)That's there excuse to stay away.lol I am redolent strong,innovative and more but as soon as you say Yes I am fine they say good I knew you would you are the strongest.Bull just the time I need support they run.I saw my mum 5 friends and 12 rellies go through cancer and care for them.debza 

I enjoy following your posts and you are extreme ly busy,but bring a shining light to me and others.I am so glad you went to the program and it was said it's ok to be sad.I am told I am brave but there are others that are much more braver.Like you.I am chemo no 2 and first one went well except constipation lol but this time I have x4 pin cushions but finally I got it in after an hour.Or they did.I don't have any family/suppory do enjoy hearing real people and real stories.debza

Hi Tracey - glad to see you back! 

Goodness don't beat yourself up!  It's the roller coaster that we're all on and some days are better than others and we are all here to support. Yes I am similar in that I have coped extremely well with my diagnosis however I do feel sadness when I read some posts. 

For me personally what I struggle with is the hidden extras of our treatment and medication, they give you a list so you are aware of what you may or may not get in the way of side effects but goodness even if it is only one side effect it is debilitating.  Fatigue is the major one for me!

Hope you find your emotional recovery not too bumpy, take as long as you need, don't feel pressured to be positive as a result of someone suggesting you should be!  We all get it!

Sending you a virtual hug, please take care and solace in your faith from Christine xx

Hi Tracey, I understand where you're coming from in regards to getting upset with some of the posts on the site. I feel sorry for people that are suffering  It is ok to have a sad day, even two, then we pick up & keep moving forward. 'Positive' is not one my strengths but we all need to try. Difficult to achieve. Hang in there, this is the place to ramble if yo need to, all the best, Hazel 

Hi Tracey,

Thankyou so much for sharing such an honest & candid post. 

I must admit that 1st time around, having been diagnosed with a low grade, stage 1 breast cancer that only required a lumpectomy & radiation therapy I just felt so lucky & positive.

But having been unexpectedly diagnosed with a new primary tumour in my 'other' breast at my 1 yr checkup a few weeks ago, I can relate all too well to those feelings of sadness, grief, shock, loss you mentioned. 

Recognizing & embracing that all of those feelings (& more) are normal is indeed an important part of the journey towards recovery :)

Take Care

Mel xxx

Thank you ladies 

Perfect timing to read your comments. Somehow hearing someone say or in this case reading, it's ok to be sad, actually makes things feel better. 

Its hard not to spend every moment acting  'strong', 'brave', 'normal'... 'Getting on with life'... When really underneath you really want to cry, not get out of bed, not have to go to work. 

But we do don't we. And somehow another day passes and hopefully with a few more smiles, some laughter and a layer of love. And then perhaps there will be more good days which give us strength for the sad days . It's ok to feel poor me sometimes.

Don't forget to remind yourself how amazing you are to get this far and breathe 

Janine xox

Ohhh Im on Arimidex too and the body aches OMG! I too am like an old woman!! very disheartening, so I keep exercising and moving. Uuugh

Hi Tracey!

Oh I couldnt agree more!!! I'd love to slap everyone that has ever said  just be positive!!! it actually as ZERO to do with it. Whether you are naturally positive 24/7 or mildly indifferent, the point is we are all who we are, and how we deal with things in life and especially a crisis is completely individual to each of us. There is no right or wrong. The thing is it is so very true, we are allowed to feel every emotion possible because its real and its honest of what we are going through and it validates us, so its OK! You know my life so far is testament to what a strong resilient woman I have demonstrated to be and yet you hear people say 'be strong' Ummm as opposed to how the rest of my life wasn't? people are well meaning, but I find things like that actually belittle the depth of how you feel.

So its OK to have a sad day! a mad day, whatever it is! believe it or not, its in validating all our emotions and letting them sit with us, it allows us then to move through them and out of them again, instead of pushing them aside and being brave or strong or positive! 

Hugs

Melinda

Hi Tracey...I have been diagnosed with DCIS in January had my op in January and had my last radiation on the 7 April ... And right thru it all everyone that knew keep telling me to be positive and telling me I look good .... Even thou I felt sad  lost

angry and annoyed at people saying things like that and yes I knew they all meant well but it still made me upset and I just wanted to sock them one lol never did of course I just smiled and said tks but yes it gets on your nerves 

but even now I still get told to stay positive and I guess as my first year mammogram comes closer I will start to stress over it 

sorry this wasn't meant to go this way I was just going to agree with u but once I started it all came out

stay safe and well 

kate??