šTake A Global Deep Breath on May 13th
On May 13th, take one big pause together In a world full of constant news, chaotic schedules, and fast-moving technology, we could all use a big, deep breath. Join Headspace for a free, live virtual event on May 13th at 12pm EDT that connects the mind, the body, and communities around the globe. Meditation teacher Dora Kamau will lead a free, guided breathing exercise. No app or login required ā just bring your open mind. Please see link below. Link for additional information
Baring all
News story about showing off the scars doesnāt consider the trauma of seeing this. Thereās a lot of discussion about bringing breast cancer to the attention of the public. With one in seven women likely to experience this disease Iād think it was already noticed, without having women undress to show scars. Also some of us donāt appreciate being reminded. And some think their medical history is a private matter. I was having a coffee with a dozen people in a cafe when my friend casually announced to everyone that Iād had breast cancer. Why is this okay?
Today's feelings in poetry
Lucky So lucky, people say. That they caught it when they did That it hasnāt spread That they got it all That I have insurance So, so lucky. That my friend told me about her cancer That I finally moved my arse and Went and had that mammogram That I live in the lucky country So lucky That my prognosis is good That my job will be there for me That I am surrounded by family and friends With their love, soup and casseroles. Lucky. That my new set are perkier Smaller, Scar-rier, numb-ier. A bit lopsided Like me. Some days though, I just feel A tiny bit Unlucky.
After 13 years and 2 diagnoses today the biggest celebration yet...
After 13 years and 2 diagnoses today my Oncologist gave me a discharge. A day I NEVER believed would come or would be possible. To anyone who is at the beginning, don't let go of hope that you will get through this. It's definitely not lost on me the many that don't make it this far. So I feel humbled and incredibly reflective of the 13 years that have brought me to this day and to my new normal of who I have become. In 2011 I was diagnosed with ER+ left breast cancer, underwent biopsies, surgery, radiation and tamoxifen. Until 2015 at my yearly checkup the unthinkable, impossible happened, I had a recurrence in the same spot in spite of all the treatment. My world shattered for a 2nd time, another surgery and chemo which was no picnic but I look back and think wow kid...you did that! it was damn hard and you were so sick, but you made it out the other side, put on Arimidex and switched to Aromasin. 1 year on 2017 I was recommended to follow with a mastectomy, so I had a single done and diep flap reconstruction, massive op and difficult. So 6 monthly visits to the Surgeon and Oncologist since 2015. I gave the AI's away about 2 years ago, I had been taking them for 10 years. Thrust into menopause during Chemo, so that was hard to contend with. 6 months with an Exercise Physiologist to help me. Prolia injections 6th monthly for 8 years and today is the day the Oncologist gave me wings to fly...a feeling I've not known throughout the whole ordeal. A closure to this chapter and a possibility of moving forward with my new normal. I managed to get back to work in 2017 and haven't stopped. I work full time in Education particularly in behaviour management and my biggest passion was to publish a book of Poetry which I did recently. Something I may never have done if not from walking this path. I feel more connected to me than I ever was. So today I celebrate just for now I will sit with no thought of what tomorrow might bring. Live a great life everyone, and trust that you are brave enough and strong enough to get through it. PS: This is a link to my first book https://amzn.asia/d/i1vI8JN for anyone who is curious. Hugs xo Melinda
Why canāt I find a local support group???
I live on the Central Coast which everyone is telling me has the second most prevalent cases of breast cancer in Australia. I was diagnosed with early breast cancer in August and have since undergone 2 surgeries. Currently have the āDraculaā drain which I hate with a vengeance. I am lucky enough to have a very loving sister who has come to help me during this trying time but she doesnāt live close by normally. I am soon to start the radiation/maybe chemo/medication treatments and Ivāe been trying to find a local support group to help me through. I NEED people who have gone down the exact same track as me, who understand the emotional roller coaster the this experience actually is. I donāt think anyone who has not been actually through it, including the medical professionals, who can totally understand the impact on your mental state. I have always prided myself as being a very strong person but this has all brought me down to a feeling of despair.
The outlier
Hi all, Iām back again. In feb this year they found a new tumour which at the time they thought was a bit they had missed from my lumpectomy but now they are thinking is a very early recurrence (2 months post finishing herceptin). Last week I noticed some discolouration on my breast near my nipple which they biopsied and found it was the cancer on the move and had come in to my skin via the lymphatic system (despite being on chemo). The last week has been the usual whirl of staging scans which have all shown it contained to the breast still. Yesterday I had a mastectomy where they also took a large amount of skin and pulled up my stomach skin to cover the gap and they did an auxiliary clearance. Iām feeling terrified of what is to come and itās not helping that the drs seem genuinely worried too and say things like āIāve never seen cancer move this fastā and the like. They have all said that there is hope that they have got it all now but I feel like thatās a pretty small hope. Iām scared and sad and I feel like I donāt fit in anywhere for support. Iām not early breast cancer, Iām not a survivor and Iām not yet metastatic. But Iām scared I could be dead within months the way things are going. Iām her2+ er- and have been on herceptin, perjeta and taxol but Iām guessing thatās changing soon. I get the results from pathology next Thursday and I guess they make a plan from there depending on what they find but it all feels pretty hopeless. Some days I find I can feel calm and ok and other days I just cry which feels like a waste if I havenāt got many days left. I just want some better luck to come my way and Iām tired of being the outlier.
Be aware and be safe with Beyond Blue
I often read of members wo are going through tough times but don't have easy and timely access to a counsellor. A few months ago attended a session for people who feel anxious or depressed and we were given a fantastic tool to help us through the bad times. I completed my safety plan when feeling really 'up' and when I am alone and really 'down' during this Victorian lockdown and the whole pandemic worry I get it out and feel it does help me to get through. The plan is simple but works. If you have this tendency I hope you will take the time to view and complete this. https://www.beyondblue.org.au/get-support/beyondnow-suicide-safety-planning/create-beyondnow-safety-plan Sending big hugs to all. š
Cancerversary š
Hello lovely ladies. Today, on April Fools, I celebrate one year since my double mastectomy. Mixed feelings, for sure. It hasnāt been easy, that goes without say, especially with the whole surgeon saga happening. Iāve found out he left tissue behind in both breasts, in areas that were shown suspicious on the pre-surgery MRI. And he didnāt highlight those areas for pathology to check, so not sure what there even was there. He also refused to test further post surgery. Luckily my beautiful current surgeon is on top of it. However, I am still grateful that I had the surgery, as it rid me of those treacherous lumps in both of my breasts. I felt very happy after it, because my body knew most of the āevilā was gone. So itās definitely a positive thing, and I will celebrate in some small way. Emotionally, Iām so much better than what I was then, itās hard to put in words. This forum had a lot to do with me getting better ā„ļø. Itās a special place š. So did my current surgeon and her practice manager šš. Anyway, to all the newbies, and all those struggling, it does get better. Hard to see that in the midst of despair, but nothing is permanent, so happiness and confidence will enter our lives again when we are ready to accept it and fight for it. Cheers to a cancer-free future š¤šš„
Interesting article: āSmile! Youāve got cancerā
A friend shared this article with me today, by the great American writer Barbara Ehrenreich. Itās about 10 years old but I found it really interesting, and am so curious to hear thoughts from the wonderful minds here on this forum. Especially those of you who have been in this world for a little while longer than me. Even just a few weeks in I found a lot resonated for me and has given me a lot to think about! https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2010/jan/02/cancer-positive-thinking-barbara-ehrenreich (It looks like several of Ehrenreichās books are about to be re-issued in May 2021, just FYI).
